Nitlott
Father's gun, it's a real one
- Feb 17, 2026
- 6
Probably a lot if people do it, in some way or another at least. But here I mean the stuff related to suicide and all.
I have at least a thought or two about suicide everyday, not one I'd follow, something like a scenario of how I'd die or how I'd try to stop myself. Something like planning. The most reoccurring one is whether I should or not buy a gun. On one hand it of course would be a challenge, it's not America with their gun laws... Yes, there's a lot of rules to it, but it's still easier with it there in comparison to my country. And I debate if I even need to really get into the restrictions, rules and etc of my country. That way this thought will just get to my head with constant research.
And then, even If i do get a gun, what would I do with it? Yeah, I wouldn't shoot myself with it as soon as it gets in my hands. So what's then? Let it casually lay around my flat (if I'll even be able to afford one)? For me to grow more and more insensitive to it? Cute
I think it's important to mention that I don't really want to die. You know, I don't want to DIE die. Yeah, I do have suicidal ideation still. But I think it's something more of a final degree of hurting yourself in a way, so that's why I'm so interested in it. You know, it would be nice to shoot yourself in the head, lay down in your pool of blood for a while, and then just get back to work or whatever. Does it make sense? And I've been thinking about it all those years and I can confidently say that I don't want to die. Even if my life would be shitty, even If I'll have my own family that I hate. I probably wouldn't even say all those "my bitch wife" complains, you know?
So yeah, with that said, the next thing that I'd probably do in that scenario in real life is give it to a friend to store. And I'd give the bullets to another friend. Most importantly, it would be people that haven't even heard of eachother, let alone know. You know, my name would still be on that license, and I'll be the first one to get in trouble if something bad happens with it (and I definitely don't want anyone else to get hurt, even accidentally). "Negligent attitude" or something like that.
Don't know why I bragged about all that stuff... I'm just curious about other people's experience with it. Oh, and the funny thing about all this is that I'll theoretically be able to get a gun only in ~3-4 years if not more lol.
I have at least a thought or two about suicide everyday, not one I'd follow, something like a scenario of how I'd die or how I'd try to stop myself. Something like planning. The most reoccurring one is whether I should or not buy a gun. On one hand it of course would be a challenge, it's not America with their gun laws... Yes, there's a lot of rules to it, but it's still easier with it there in comparison to my country. And I debate if I even need to really get into the restrictions, rules and etc of my country. That way this thought will just get to my head with constant research.
And then, even If i do get a gun, what would I do with it? Yeah, I wouldn't shoot myself with it as soon as it gets in my hands. So what's then? Let it casually lay around my flat (if I'll even be able to afford one)? For me to grow more and more insensitive to it? Cute
I think it's important to mention that I don't really want to die. You know, I don't want to DIE die. Yeah, I do have suicidal ideation still. But I think it's something more of a final degree of hurting yourself in a way, so that's why I'm so interested in it. You know, it would be nice to shoot yourself in the head, lay down in your pool of blood for a while, and then just get back to work or whatever. Does it make sense? And I've been thinking about it all those years and I can confidently say that I don't want to die. Even if my life would be shitty, even If I'll have my own family that I hate. I probably wouldn't even say all those "my bitch wife" complains, you know?
So yeah, with that said, the next thing that I'd probably do in that scenario in real life is give it to a friend to store. And I'd give the bullets to another friend. Most importantly, it would be people that haven't even heard of eachother, let alone know. You know, my name would still be on that license, and I'll be the first one to get in trouble if something bad happens with it (and I definitely don't want anyone else to get hurt, even accidentally). "Negligent attitude" or something like that.
Don't know why I bragged about all that stuff... I'm just curious about other people's experience with it. Oh, and the funny thing about all this is that I'll theoretically be able to get a gun only in ~3-4 years if not more lol.
