Discussion Do you have to build up courage to go out in public?

[WadeingThru]

I don't know why but I have to build up some courage to go the grocery store. Anywhere else and I'm fine. It's just the grocery store. I guess the soccer moms are intimidating.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I used to feel really nervous about being outside but I somehow got over it over time though being forced to wear a piece of cloth to hide my disgusting face probably helped. I wonder if I'm the only one who likes wearing masks for that reason…

 

[WadeingThru]

They told me to wear a mask so I won't get everyone sick. I told them they can't catch what I got from breathing. They did not care.

 

[LastFlowers]

I don't know why but I have to build up some courage to go the grocery store. Anywhere else and I'm fine. It's just the grocery store. I guess the soccer moms are intimidating.

That's weird that it's only the grocery store for you, usually the issues that place poses are similar to anywhere else, but I do know what you mean, because that's one of the few places I've had no choice but to go into at times, and it's still very difficult and nerve-racking, I can't exactly afford delivery over and over again…I always forget things because I have to be on edge the whole time.
I'm more worried about the cruel teenagers than the soccer moms lol

 

[NaturalBornNEET]

yes... I even have to build up the courage to talk on online places like this

 

[LastFlowers]

I used to feel really nervous about being outside but I somehow got over it over time though being forced to wear a piece of cloth to hide my disgusting face probably helped. I wonder if I'm the only one who likes wearing masks for that reason…

You most definitely aren't, I'm the same way, but as they become less mandatory, some people are staring, and starting to tear them off other's faces and joking about why anyone is still wearing them- whether to hide something or because they're just that concerned about covid, either way we should be left to do as we please. (Sucks that the masks are beginning to illicit the opposite reaction of what we're probably hoping for, drawing more attention, rather than less.)
Most who heckle are too self-absorbed and asinine to think of the possibility of being severely immunocompromised or something, which is an excuse I'm ready to use if someone gets too far with their bothering.
I already had a close call.

 

[WadeingThru]

yes... I even have to build up the courage to talk on online places like this

And you did it, that's progress. I'm bout to go to grocery store. I think.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

You most definitely aren't, I'm the same way, but as they become less mandatory, some people are staring, and starting to tear them off other's faces and joking about why anyone is still wearing them- whether to hide something or because they're just that concerned about covid, either way we should be left to do as we please. (Sucks that the masks are beginning to illicit the opposite reaction of what we're probably hoping for, drawing more attention, rather than less.)
Most who heckle are too self-absorbed and asinine to think of the possibility of being severely immunocompromised or something, which is an excuse I'm ready to use if someone gets too far with their bothering.
I already had a close call.

That really really does suck. I'm probably going to have to deal with that sooner or later too. At least where I am in California though people still seem to mostly be wearing them for now but in another month who knows. I might have to start to fake coughing or sneezing if I feel like people look too happy to rip it off me…

 

[chocolatebar]

I don't know why but I have to build up some courage to go the grocery store. Anywhere else and I'm fine. It's just the grocery store. I guess the soccer moms are intimidating.

I felt this way since I was a child. I not only need to build a lot of strength to get out, but I feel unnaturally tired when I come back home, as if it drained all my energy, and I can barely do anything else for the rest of the day.
It was much worse when I was young and today I can get out with less difficulty, but I feel much worse when I come back, compared to back then.

yes... I even have to build up the courage to talk on online places like this

I don't know if it helps, but always remember that we're all broken around here and most ones don't even follow the standard "rules" from social interaction. Feel free to talk around here. This is the freedom you will find nowhere else in the world

 

[Nolan96]

I've gotten a little better but this is definitely a problem for me at my worst.

Some places are worse than others. Places with children, places with thugs, places with really attractive and socially successful people, formal places where people are walking around in suits, the list goes on.

The grocery store is usually fine for me. If there's a self-checkout so I don't have to worry about smalltalk with the cashier and wondering if they'll judge what I bought, that makes it easier.

 

[ClownMe]

I hate leaving the house for anything, im really self conscious.

 

[Passersby]

Yes I hate going in the grocery store also. Always have and always will. There was many years when I was physically unable to actually stand up and go. It was just physically and mentally impossible. I still hated it even when I was in my so called prime. Bright fluorescent lights, people, having to think, move around and stand, anxiety, frustration, and wanting out. Depending on where you go some places will definitely require more courage than others.

 

[medjooled11]

Yes, I am currently doing that now as I prepare to go to the local grocery store . . .

Of course it helps that I chose to go near sunset :)

 

[bleeeeeep]

i hate being in public anywhere, but going food shopping particularly puts the fear in me. i'm physically unable to make myself go into those shops sometimes lol. i'm convinced people are judging every single thing i pick up, so i get the bare minimum so i can leave faster, which means i have to go back more often. i usually end up not doing that and instead living off ridiculous things like a jar of pickled beetroot for a few days

 

[hungry_ghost]

I absolutely detest going to to the grocery store.

Haven't in like over three years ever since I discovered Instacart (a grocery delivery service).

 

[Looooser]

It takes me a couple of days to be able to go to the store.... Usually I'm out of coffee creamer and I must have it. Lol. The self checkout lines and 24 hour grocery store are a blessing.

 

[WrongPlaceWrongTime]

You most definitely aren't, I'm the same way, but as they become less mandatory, some people are staring, and starting to tear them off other's faces and joking about why anyone is still wearing them- whether to hide something or because they're just that concerned about covid, either way we should be left to do as we please. (Sucks that the masks are beginning to illicit the opposite reaction of what we're probably hoping for, drawing more attention, rather than less.)
Most who heckle are too self-absorbed and asinine to think of the possibility of being severely immunocompromised or something, which is an excuse I'm ready to use if someone gets too far with their bothering.
I already had a close call.

Yikes, why can't people learn to mind their own business...

 

[FuneralCry]

I do not like going anywhere where there is many people, often being around people just makes me feel worse so I need to isolate myself. There is nowhere that I want to go anyway, I just want to sleep forever.

 

[4mom]

I have always been very insecure. I was the kid that hid behind my mom's skirts. Eventually, I lost my belief that what other people thought actually mattered. The hardest part was accepting what I thought of myself, and feeling that I had failed my children with two of them depressed, like me. I wish I had learned it sooner, and raised my kids to look at others no different than a dog or cat in the street, with curiosity. I'm old enough now that I don't care what anyone thinks of me when I go outside and walk my dog in my pajamas and I look like hell. I meet their disapproving gaze and laugh to myself, and sometimes say loud enough for them to hear "you wish you were so free." Not caring is freedom. Accepting myself and all my flaws was my first step.

 

[Boireannach Brònach]

Oh yeah, even going to places I enjoy going, like the bookstore, require a lot of mental prep. I started going to a new church a few weeks ago and even though everyone is very nice, there's still that fear of them finding out that actually I'm a bad person who doesn't deserve their kindness or blessings. My heart will still be racing 2 hours after I get home.

Does "exposure therapy" where you go to places that make you nervous actually help anyone at all?

 

[death137]

Yes and it's very exhausting. It's even hard for me to go to the gardens because I fear neighbors might see me. I rarely leave the house enclosure and when I do it's mostly at night. Wearing mask helps but most ppl don't wear it and it's making me stand out. Some ppl probably think that I'm trying to hide my ugliness which is absolutely true.

 

[MrBlue]

I don't know why but I have to build up some courage to go the grocery store. Anywhere else and I'm fine. It's just the grocery store. I guess the soccer moms are intimidating.

Yep, I used to be agoraphobic so couldn't even leave my dorm room to go to the kitchen when I was at uni. I lost about 15kg in my 1st year! Looked like my profile pic for a long while lol
Even now that I go to work and try to put myself out there, my ability to speak just shuts down most of the time. It doesn't exactly help peoples already wonderful opinion of me that's for sure.
Hardest thing for me is that the more I'm withdrawn the more people give up on/reject me and then it snowballs. I'm never going to get better unless someone inexplicably decides to love me on the spot and breaks the spiral downwards lol

 

[WadeingThru]

Thanks for all the replies. It makes it a little easier knowing there are others at the grocery store all weirded out too. But the soccer moms better stay on their side of the produce aisle.

 

[NeverEndingPain]

yes... I even have to build up the courage to talk on online places like this

I have a really hard time talking on the phone

 

[Lily (Osako)]

Every time. I have to convince myself to go. Sometimes I even have to start preparing the day before.
I end up putting it off for as long as possible.
It's not the outside that bothers me. No agoraphobia. It's the people. More of a social anxiety. :/
Every time. I have to convince myself to go. Sometimes I even have to start preparing the day before.
I end up putting it off for as long as possible.
It's not the outside that bothers me. No agoraphobia. It's the people.

That's weird that it's only the grocery store for you, usually the issues that place poses are similar to anywhere else, but I do know what you mean, because that's one of the few places I've had no choice but to go into at times, and it's still very difficult and nerve-racking, I can't exactly afford delivery over and over again…I always forget things because I have to be on edge the whole time.
I'm more worried about the cruel teenagers than the soccer moms lol

Does your grocery store offer pickup?
Ours does for free so I use that. Just order everything I need and pay online, set a time for pickup, and they load in in my car and I don't even have to get out and talk to anyone.

 

[gh0stt0wn]

Yes, hell yes. Since I was a child, things like bus rides, grocery shopping, walking down a crowded terrace has scared the shit out of me., and I've always been a tall big framed guy for my age...incredibly pathetic. I become hyper-vigilant and over-sensitized to minor stimuli such as eye glances, aromas and sounds. I sweat profusely, darting my eyes towards possible exits, always feeling like a subject under a microscope, most likely making others uncomfortable in the process.

Then I see normies just strut around without a care in the world and can initiate/hold eye contact and start conversations with strangers in-passing . Fuck my life.

 

[4390101]

same, i need to build up courage to even go to the bathroom is awful

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

I have to build up courage to even go downstairs. Even leaving bed if anyone else is up.

 

[WearyHSP]

I was always sensitive but didn't understand what that was so any groups - lights etc. I'd soak it all up and get dizzy-headed, anxious and exhausted afterward.
It wasn't that I'm socially anxious or felt less than. I was just a psychic sponge picking up on everyone's crap without knowing it.

Now that I'm almost sixty I'm invisible. It has its pros and cons. Cars in the parking lot pull out and nearly hit me on a fairly regular basis. Seriously, way too often to be typical - as if me, inside my car - both, are invisible. And yet, I see everyone else. Always noticing.

Also my neuro illness makes anything in my periphery jarring. I flinch as cars drive by. Where I live people are well-off and self centered. It's a "me, me, me" mentality. So it's like going into battle to get groceries.

As for masks, I realize if i were younger and pretty (as I used to be) I wouldn't be wearing a mask anymore. But I am. Hides my face AND is a safety precaution.
I'm not as afraid of getting covid as I'm afraid of Long Covid. At Stanford, the one measly MD who treats ME/CFS is now also treating long covid.
I've already been sick for 24 years, I don't need it to get twice as bad.

 

[Marine]

Yes. Which is why it takes me so long to get ready for it. I'm always afraid of looking bad, my makeup looking greasy, looking fat, my hair getting messed up (especially in the summer) etc. I also have to listen to music to calm my anxiety about people making fun of me and stuff. Recently I feel like I have to force myself to keep a straight face too. The more I have safe places to go, and the thinner I am, the better I do, the problem being that I don't have such places anymore atm and my physical condition is still terrible... It's also embarrassing that I get weird fainting symptoms for whatever reason now. Haven't been able to go do some blood work yet... Those responsible will have to pay like I always say.