Venting Do you have a time deadline.?

[Lara Francis]

I have just posted that I would give life my all for the next 8 weeks.
I dont know who i am trying to kid ! But nevermind.
Its just occured to me that at least 2 or 3 weeks of those will be taken up with the essential things before i could ctb such as my hubby headstone etc so my mindset will still be focused on death and obtaining either sn or n should i need it.

The problem is , this deadline cannot be extended.
Does anyone else put pressure on themselves to stick to a date.?

My mind is racing tonight and i cant stop thinking the worst of my situation.
I sat here thinking that i wished i was still working as a vet nurse and lots of drugs including n could be available to me.
Maybe i could get a temp job nearer the time as the prospect of being caught wouldnt matter if i was dead anyway.
I dont know why i did not think of this before

 

[DreamCatcher]

When I decided that CTB was the only solution I gave myself exactly one year for something significant to change my mind. So far nothing has and I'm four months from that date.

First of all stop worrying about not doing things before you go, whatever it is won't be your problem anymore. Sucks to say, but the living will figure it all out after you're gone, stop trying to be responsible for things that just add stress.

Second don't worry about a date until you have all of the components you need. Whatever your method. I know pure SN can be hard to acquire in the UK, so a mechanical solution like the night night method might be easier to plan for without the worry of acquiring drugs or chems from overseas.

Third I'd suggest that your date isn't set in stone, if you need to wait an extra week or a year or cancel it completely then that's fine too. Don't put any pressure on yourself, this is supposed to be something that frees you from anguish, it shouldn't cause more.

I hope you find peace regardless

 

[inconsequential]

I wouldn't put pressure on yourself about such an important decision. You can always catch the bus, but you can't get off at the next stop.

As for me, I don't have a date. I don't like set commitments too much.

 

[ScarsAndStitches]

I don't have a date for it. I feel like I won't stick to it if I try to put on a date on it.

 

[lululoo]

I hope I go very soon, but my absolute deadline is Sept/Oct, because I can't bear another winter plus there are months of holidays and family birthdays that I will feel bad ruining.if I do it then.

Hugs, Lara.

 

[Lara Francis]

I hope I go very soon, but my absolute deadline is Sept/Oct, because I can't bear another winter plus there are months of holidays and family birthdays that I will feel bad ruining.if I do it then.

Hugs, Lara.

Hugs in return x

 

[soda_pressed]

I've set two dates before and then felt exasperated when said dates didn't happen. The first one I tried to hang myself in April, then yesterday I went to try and jump off a car park. Couldn't do it.
I think maybe it's a subconscious sign that I have unfinished business I need to attend to before I ctb.

Please don't be hard on yourself. Dying is the hardest thing to do.

 

[Circles]

I'm not completely set on doing it and it depends on what happens until then but I'm thinking around my birthday in a couple months especially since it wouldn't interfere with anybody else's birthday or holidays.

 

[kolski]

I don't have a exact date because I know that I won't keep to it. My life changes from day to day- it's pointless saying that in 2 weeks I'm definitely ctbing because I know there might be something in the way. It only leaves me disappointed and feeling worse that I can't even ctb. Don't get me wrong, im all prepared to go. I know how and where. I want to die, if I could I would go right now. I'm waiting for the right moment. I don't want to rush, because I need to make sure when I ctb, there's no second chance.

 

[Scribble Fan]

I'm just going to let it happen organically. I don't want any feeling of being pushed towards my final decision, I hate that restrictive feeling. Gives me too much stress seeing the clock tick down over my head. I want that weight off my shoulders, not with increased intensity.

 

[TimeToDie]

Today was going to be the deadline. Though it doesn't appear that's going to happen. Deadline was going to be in March, but I decided that a .45 pistol simply had too great a risk of survival or slow, painful death. Then I bought buckshot so I could use my shotgun and I've made numerous deadlines since then and each one passes. The pro-lifers would respond with "see, you don't really want to die!" They would be 100% wrong. My life has been filled with so many things that I wanted to do or should have done, but that anxiety prevented me from ever doing. I'm unable to live and unable to die.

 

[Crematedashes]

I have a hotel booked for Tuesday night and will use the exit bag. Hopefully it will work. If not, I will do full suspension hanging in an abandoned house. I'll just have to figure out how to get around family members... some of them stay up really late and I'd want to do it around 1 or 2am or so because some people go to the abandoned house during the day. But ideally, the exit bag will work.

 

[Xaphous]

No, I may endure solitary confinement for the rest of my life. I won't be rewarded even though that would be a heroic act so it's probably worth cutting it short. One of the two are my only life choices.

 

[Loli]

A strict deadline? No. But I did have a date I couldn't CTB before. It was an event, somehow very important to me. Fun thing, that day reassured me in my suicidal ideation.

 

[TimeToDie]

Another deadline has just past. Since I need to CTB outside it was going to happen right before darkness fell, so postponed till tomorrow (at least). I have to do it outside as it's a blood bath and I don't want to damage my house. I think my beneficiary will appreciate my consideration.

 

[andy69]

I am thinking August or September before my fiftieth birthday. I have to finish a course I am taking this summer.

 

[DoesANameEvenMatter]

I planned June 27, 2019 during the year 2012ish. Gave myself time to let things change my mind but nothing has changed. I'll CTB in 4 days so there's that deadline coming into play.

 

[Mljonzy]

I'm almost 30 and want to be gone by the time i'm 40 it is not a deadline but more of i do not want to be a middle aged man with my problems. I'm exhausted now life will only get worse the older i get. Grim reaper come and get me you fucking sponge.

 

[Lara Francis]

I'm not completely set on doing it and it depends on what happens until then but I'm thinking around my birthday in a couple months especially since it wouldn't interfere with anybody else's birthday or holidays.

I have a hotel booked for Tuesday night and will use the exit bag. Hopefully it will work. If not, I will do full suspension hanging in an abandoned house. I'll just have to figure out how to get around family members... some of them stay up really late and I'd want to do it around 1 or 2am or so because some people go to the abandoned house during the day. But ideally, the exit bag will work.

My thoughts will be with you.
I hope you find peace and i wish you safe travels.x

Another deadline has just past. Since I need to CTB outside it was going to happen right before darkness fell, so postponed till tomorrow (at least). I have to do it outside as it's a blood bath and I don't want to damage my house. I think my beneficiary will appreciate my consideration.

Gosh what is your method ?

 

[TimeToDie]

Gosh what is your method ?

Shotgun. Even if I had a bloodless method -- Nembutal for example -- I'd still want to do it outside since it's quite possible that I wouldn't be found for a week. Decomposition would really damage a house in that time.