Do you feel like you should be treated better?

[lemonbunny]

Weird thought loop I've been having. Sometimes I get a surge of resentment for the people in my life who have treated me badly. But then I think, do I really deserve to be treated better? Aren't they just treating me how I ought to be treated, further proving how worthless I am, how much I don't belong in this world? I feel shameful, almost, for thinking I deserve a better life. Because I contribute nothing, I am not important to anyone. Feels better to believe that CTB is my selfless act of making space.

I assume many of us here are feeling suicidal because of cruel circumstances that are out of our control. So what about you? Do you believe that you deserve the things that come to you, or you realize that you don't and CTB is your escape?

 

[haibane]

I think i never deserved most of the things that i had to go through Like a lot of others people. But anyway thats how it is cause life is unfair.

 

[Iamtired]

No. it's gross and unfair the way people treat one another.

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

Oh of course I do. Like it certainly hurts when people insult me and mock me and are rude to me. But apparently I deserve it. Like I've tried to stand up for myself and tell them what they're doing isn't right but somehow I'm the one who is in the wrong? And these people get EXTREMELY angry with me. I can say anything, ANYTHING, and they will get upset with me. I can't even have a conversation with someone anymore without them criticizing me.

I'm always criticized for everything I do. And in the moment it fucking hurts. But what can I do about it? Because clearly I've done something wrong when doesn't even feel that way at all.

And it always ends as me being the one who has to apologize. I always have to apologize. It just doesn't seem fair but clearly I was doing something wrong so that's just the way it has to be I guess?? I guess it would just be nice to give someone a taste of that medicine for once just to see how they like it.

...I believe I deserve most of the things that come to me but I still want to ctb, I NEED to. It's literally my only way out.

 

[CrazyDiamond04]

Yeah, I do kind of deserve the shit I get to be honest. Like you said, I don't really feel I deserve a better life because of how little I contribute.

 

[Seered Doom]

I believe I should be treated worse tbh

 

[brokeandbroken]

Weird thought loop I've been having. Sometimes I get a surge of resentment for the people in my life who have treated me badly. But then I think, do I really deserve to be treated better? Aren't they just treating me how I ought to be treated, further proving how worthless I am, how much I don't belong in this world? I feel shameful, almost, for thinking I deserve a better life. Because I contribute nothing, I am not important to anyone. Feels better to believe that CTB is my selfless act of making space.

I assume many of us here are feeling suicidal because of cruel circumstances that are out of our control. So what about you? Do you believe that you deserve the things that come to you, or you realize that you don't and CTB is your escape?

This is an extraordinarily hard question to answer. Because based on what metric does one use? You have to I guess use the metric in the society/country you are living in. I think I *earned* better. That said I have my flaws/foibles and to be honest deep down there's probably a good question if I am a good person or not. With the answer probably being not. That said I was in medical school after working my ass off. President of the oncology research group and so on.... I'm not sure what resume or rubric you need to get help if you are the victim of crime(s) but I have a hard time believing one would need to do more. The question is also raised if society/the government/humanity is going to help someone who loses everything as a result of a crime... Who will they help? Why don't I matter? Why am I not good enough? Why am I going to pay the ultimate price for someone else's greed and criminal actions? Why will it go unpunished?

 

[SmollMushroom]

Weird thought loop I've been having. Sometimes I get a surge of resentment for the people in my life who have treated me badly. But then I think, do I really deserve to be treated better? Aren't they just treating me how I ought to be treated, further proving how worthless I am, how much I don't belong in this world? I feel shameful, almost, for thinking I deserve a better life. Because I contribute nothing, I am not important to anyone. Feels better to believe that CTB is my selfless act of making space.

I assume many of us here are feeling suicidal because of cruel circumstances that are out of our control. So what about you? Do you believe that you deserve the things that come to you, or you realize that you don't and CTB is your escape?

I think it's a mixed bag.
Overall, yeah life could have been nicer to me, that's for sure. I've never really been lucky with other people.
But it's also true that I'm not very good at detecting shitty people quite well; so instead of try and bond with the good people, I end up trusting the rotten apples and ending up unhappy and alone. So in the end I guess it's a 50 50.

 

[Forever Sleep]

In childhood- probably- yes, I do feel hurt and sometimes resentful that so many people- including close family fell hook, line and sinker for (what I believe to be) a narcissist's lies about me. They knew my character and they knew theirs yet- I think they went along with it because it was easier. They would berate me for feeling afraid of this person yet they were so obviously afraid to oppose them too- and they were the adults! I was a child.

Now, I don't know really. I guess I feel disappointed sometimes when people let me down in life. But then- I've been selfish too and let other people down.

I don't like it professionally when people don't do their jobs and don't give a shit as to how that will affect other people. That's mainly because it tends to affect me though. People higher up in the chain not making decisions, not fulfilling deadlines and not being organized puts so much pressure on people like me. That really gets to me because I expect they are paid shit loads more to do all that stuff! Still- I guess I don't really know the full picture. Maybe there are good reasons for it.

Maybe I have a problem with authority! I just think- most places I've worked, it's felt like an 'us and them' situation between management and us. They always seem to be in their ivory towers with no clue or interest in what is going on at ground level.

 

[puella]

Everyone deserves to be treated better. I wish the world was kind.

 

[hellispink]

We all deserve better when we were kids thata for sure. Most traumas all traumas come from there. If a parent did something bad then the child will pay for their mistakes and so on and then they themselves grow become parents and repeat. .. people are broken, so they break everything they see in their path. People are selfish destructive and money driven, but we aint born being evils, we are taught . Its a pattern, other humans teach other humans how to live what to care about and their experiences shape them. Is there a scape to this ? Not by this point. Humanity is completely lost . The only solution is that we all dissapear

 

[R_N]

A while ago I felt like that. I craved it so much.

Now I feel I should be treated much worse than I am. And for some reason that is not happening. Maybe because I have health issues.