Do you feel helpless if you are unable to CTB

[Painless_end]

I feel very helpless and frustrated all the time. In strictly objective terms, I should have been long gone.

But I'm still alive because I have both my parents still alive and barring the occasional heated argument, they still provide me a place to live and two cooked meals a day.

Left on my own, I would probably be long gone. My mind is just not capable enough to handle life and all its complexities. It has literally been proven in a very scientific and accurate career aptitude test I have taken that showed I was not suited for any career whatsover.

I have enough wits left to keep myself alive by consuming food and staying out of unhandleable responsibilities but that is it. I am not able to pull any motivation out of my brain at all.

No I am not depressed, I am just this way since I was a kid. The touch of "real world" bullshit on my mind daily renders me almost catatonic. The strange part is that you would never guess I was like this by looking at me. I look like a very normal person on the outside.

Continued attempts by people around me to force me to engage in "productive" behavior triggers my fight/flight response.

I am just helpless that I can't kill myself. It's just too much.

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

Yes, helpless and hopeless, because at this moment i cant catch that bus. Why does it have to be that way i dont know but hey.. There are times im confident, but then it all drops down when i see difficulties.. Hang in there

 

[Borabora]

Failure is NOT an option. Try until succeed! I'm sure with the completed ctb's we read about in media, there have been more than 1 try until success.

 

[Painless_end]

I want to die. I just tried partial while my parents were not home. I did not succeed obviously.

I wish I had more time to end it. They came home too soon. Lockdown is increasing suicidial tendencies and reducing opportunities to actually do the act.

 

[Cioran]

You are not alone in the category of people who do not have any will to live simply because they do not want to put up with worldly affairs.

I want to die. I just tried partial while my parents were not home. I did not succeed obviously.

I wish I had more time to end it. They came home too soon. Lockdown is increasing suicidial tendencies and reducing opportunities to actually do the act.

Isn't night time when everyone's asleep?

 

[ItsAllTooLate]

God yes, almost every single time after my attempts I felt so fucking stupid. Almost felt like a ghost each time even because I sincerely thought that each attempt would be my last, the moments after a survived attempt are so surreal. You stand up and think "god dammit why didn't I think of that (the thing that kept you from succeeding)", or "I'm so fucking stupid I can't even kill myself correctly", something along those lines...

 

[MorticiasHair]

Failure is NOT an option. Try until succeed! I'm sure with the completed ctb's we read about in media, there have been more than 1 try until success.

Failure is NOT an option. Try until succeed! I'm sure with the completed ctb's we read about in media, there have been more than 1 try until success.

if you read through his contributions you will quickly notice that he has pangs of conscience and doubts. to say that he should 'try' until he succeeds is irresponsible and not our right. he has all the time he needs. death does not run away from us.
@Curious89 I know it isn't easy..but try to calm down and don't push yourself. take your time and don't rush anything.

 

[Borabora]

if you read through his contributions you will quickly notice that he has pangs of conscience and doubts. to say that he should 'try' until he succeeds is irresponsible and not our right. he has all the time he needs. death does not run away from us.
@Curious89 I know it isn't easy..but try to calm down and don't push yourself. take your time and don't rush anything.

Sorry Curious89, My comment was not directed for you. It was more meant for myself. So sorry for misunderstanding.

 

[Painless_end]

Sorry Curious89, My comment was not directed for you. It was more meant for myself. So sorry for misunderstanding.

It's ok. I wish I could actually do what you say, trust me.

I want out of this world. I have a really difficult time surviving in this world.

 

[Depressive1995]

Yes indescribable helpless! Every day I try to imagine that I would do it but I don't see any chance. I know my hell is going more terrible more and more but anyway I just can't imagine any condition which is enough that I just do it.