Oh lord, you worry about people not responding, and then you get a long response from me!
I don't see you as too negative and whiny. I perceive from this post and others that you in general seem to feel invalidated, and invalidate yourself, like saying you don't blame others for the negative things you imagine they think about you. I'm not annoyed with that, I care, and I say something in such instances not to magnify you or make you feel worse, but to hopefully help you see that there are other ways of viewing things that don't beat you up. I apologize if my way of interacting with you brings up discomfort, I really don't mean to. That's just how I am, and if it doesn't work for you, there's nothing wrong with either of us. Some folks who are introverted really like me being this way, and others cringe. I sincerely hope you don't cringe, you're welcome to PM me anytime and say to stop, and I will.
Imo, you haven't stopped posting, so that's one strong and positive thing that you can build from, since it seems like you're wanting to connect more. You can post answers to questions that other people have and if they don't use your answer, you can maybe try stepping back and seeing it all as a spaghetti test -- we all throw spaghetti at the post, and maybe not much sticks, there's no negative value judgment in that (I'm throwing spaghetti now myself). You could even practice by posting a response and immediately deleting it, I think maybe that would take a lot of balls to do, and when you felt stronger and a little more confident, you could leave a comment up for awhile and see what happens.
Me, I don't feel annoying for posting, though sometimes others get annoyed that I do, whether it's about what I post or how long it is, and yet others like the exact same posts or the way I write. Oh well. It's a forum, it's meant for posting, we all have different ways of doing it, and everyone is going to respond to posts and other people in their own unique ways. It can be as rough and tumble here as irl, but often it's more rewarding, because vulnerability is more appreciated and rewarded here through validation and compassion than irl. Sometimes I get criticized and I don't like how it's presented, but if I set aside my emotions, I sometimes recognize there's a helpful gem in there, so it's up to me how I take the responses I get and what to do with them. But I don't think I'm less valid for having been in error or in need of learning something I wasn't aware of until it came up. Instead, I got empowered, even if someone was trying to knock me down.
Anyhow, I don't notice that your posts get ignored, people do engage with you and what you write. I haven't read all of your posts, but I don't notice people acting annoyed with you. Maybe as you keep interacting you'll see more and more that you're valid, your issues are valid, and it's okay to reach out for whatever reason, including loneliness. You don't have to justify yourself or your reasons for posting. You don't have to always be right, you don't have to always bring value. I've been working on that myself, not feeling so much pressure to be valuable to anyone, but to simply be.
I think you're brave to ask the questions you do. Very few people are born with natural social skills, and the few who are can make it seem like they're in the majority, but it's something most everyone has to learn, only the learning curve varies. Asking questions is, to me, a sign of intelligence and awareness, and taking ownership of learning what it is you seek. Btw, I was a self-hating, extroverted, awkward nerd for a looooong time, and to me that was just as painful as the experiences of those who are self-hating, introverted, awkward and nerdy. I felt perhaps less alone, but more actively ostracized, and I was a much more convenient target for mean people who just liked to hurt others. Now I know it wasn't about me, it was their own shit that made them go on the attack. We all have our own shit.
