Do you ever wonder how your life would’ve been if it weren’t for the living hell you experienced?

[venin.n]

I cannot even imagine, tbh. But must've been amazing given my potential.

 

[sserafim]

I cannot even imagine, tbh. But must've been amazing given my potential.

I would say that life itself is a living hell. I wonder what my life would be like if I weren't neurodivergent and didn't have Asperger's/autism or ADHD. Maybe I would think it less of a hell. I think I had high potential, just unfortunate circumstances due to being on the spectrum. I think if I were neurotypical, I would have a much better life.

 

[venin.n]

I would say that life itself is a living hell. I wonder what my life would be like if I weren't neurodivergent and didn't have Asperger's/autism or ADHD. Maybe I would think it less of a hell. I think I had high potential, just unfortunate circumstances due to being on the spectrum. I think if I were neurotypical, I would have a much better life.

I kinda agree on the hell/life part.

What's being neurodivergent like?

 

[Division Day]

I think it would've been totally unremarkable. I never had much potential. Not really smart or driven or popular. Even before things got horrific, when I was 13 and being told to plan out a path for my life and which subjects to study, what to do at university for whatever career I was drawn by... I just looked at any path my life would go down and didn't see how any of it would make me happy.

What's being neurodivergent like?

Not great. It's like living in a country where you only speak a bit of the language a lot of the time, and it makes you a lot more vulnerable to mental health disasters.

 

[venin.n]

I think it would've been totally unremarkable. I never had much potential. Not really smart or driven or popular. Even before things got horrific, when I was 13 and being told to plan out a path for my life and which subjects to study, what to do at university for whatever career I was drawn by... I just looked at any path my life would go down and didn't see how any of it would make me happy.

Not great. It's like living in a country where you only speak a bit of the language a lot of the time, and it makes you a lot more vulnerable to mental health disasters.

Ty for sharing

 

[sserafim]

I kinda agree on the hell/life part.

What's being neurodivergent like?

Honestly it feels like I'm an alien and that I'm on the wrong planet. It's a feeling of not being suited for this world, and that I'll never belong in it. Humans are like a foreign species to me, I feel like an imposter and like I'm just pretending to be human. I honestly just imitate other people. It feels like I'm acting. It's like most people were given a rulebook/guide to social interaction at birth, but I wasn't. They just instinctively know and it comes naturally to them, while it'll always be second nature to me. My main issue is social difficulties which make it hard for me to ever be successful, as well as executive dysfunction.

 

[Rhymester]

If I wasn't fucked on the head then my life could have been good.

 

[venin.n]

Honestly it feels like I'm an alien and that I'm on the wrong planet. It's a feeling of not being suited for this world, and that I'll never belong in it. Humans are like a foreign species to me, I feel like an imposter and like I'm just pretending to be human. I honestly just imitate other people. It feels like I'm acting. It's like most people were given a rulebook/guide to social interaction at birth, but I wasn't. They just instinctively know and it comes naturally to them, while it'll always be second nature to me.

But what do you feel like? If not human. What are you like?

 

[sserafim]

But what do you feel like? If not human. What are you like?

I don't know, I just feel like I'm on the wrong planet. I don't think that I was meant to be a human. I feel like an outsider. I've always wanted to be a cat.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

It would be better if I was an orphan probably.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Before my life became fucked up it wasn't hell it was good and although it wasn't perfect - what's really perfect? - it was really good. It's not an extreme living hell here yet but I hate it already and I don't even want to image how hellish it could be in the future. So yeah according to my own definition, if I was able to get back the life I had that would be more than ok. Nothing to imagine here for me what could have been rather it's vice versa how hellish it can become.

 

[deadbody]

I don't have a clear answer to this question. But I think I would definitely become a different person. Good or bad? Don't know.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existence itself is the true hell, and there is nothing desirable about life, it's a curse to have the ability to exist as a conscious being with no straightforward way to cease existing on our own terms.

I don't wish for any kind of life, I only wish for nothingness, I see existence itself as such a terrible, tragic mistake that disturbed the peace of nothingness.
Wanting to die is all that feels rational to me, as existence is just so futile and harmful, I'd prefer to permanently escape from all suffering. To have the ability to exist is such a tiresome and futile burden where there is no limit as to how much one can suffer, existing isn't for me.

 

[leavingsoon99]

I do. But then I figure that, even if I were to be the "best version" of myself, if it all leads to the COVID world and the world to come, then what's the point? Sure, I don't worry about the macro so much that it paralyzes me. However, COVID taught me that the macro can crumble at any moment. I'm not prepared to live in a dystopian apocalypse. I'm not sure I'd survive the collapse of society. It scares me to think of what I'd have to become to do so. I really hate that life is like this. I mean, sure, I'd have probably enjoyed it more if life went in my favor. However, ultimately, it seems like life isn't going to work out for the human race in general.

 

[Headspace Dweller]

All the time. Maybe I would have gotten to experience the things I dreamed of when I was younger - even at that point, it was too late, the damage had been done.

I'd take unremarkable and rote to what I have now, 100%. I'm so tired.

 

[BlockHammer]

Idk how to answer this, but one thing for sure that i will be more positive person and not bother trying to watch a video about mental health

 

[ctvunny]

For sure.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Sometimes, yeah. I wonder where I would be if my Mum hadn't died when I was 3. I wonder what would have happened if I didn't then end up growing up with a (suspected) narcissist. I think I would have ended up a more stable person. I wonder if I still would have ended up creative. I think I still would have realised that I loved art. I think my parents still would have let me pursue it. But I likely wouldn't have become so obsessed with it- it became my coping mechanism. I wonder if that would have resulted in me becoming better or worse at it. I may have spent less time doing it but maybe I would have had a greater sense of self confidence and had less social anxiety. Maybe I would have gone for a totally different job entirely. I think my life would have had more love and trust in it. That may have resulted in a very different outcome. I think I had the potential to have a happy life given the people who were in it before they died.

 

[nightmare_moon]

I'd like to think I'd be much more successful and would made better use of my hobbies. I watched videos of me on my birthday when I was 6 the other day with my dad, and it made me so sad knowing I was such a sweet kid with an awful upbringing and an awful future.