Do You Ever Hear Actually Good Advice That You Hadn't Heard Before?

[KafkaF]

So, I've been dealing with depression on and off for over 10 years now. I made a Reddit post recently on how I was feeling and I got a bunch of "advice" from people (even though I didn't ask for it and I was just venting). And the main thing that sprang out at me is how these people apparently didn't realize that the advice they were giving isn't particularly new or helpful to someone who's been struggling with depression as long as I have.

Some examples of the advice I got were:
- Go to the gym (I've been working out for longer than I've even had depression, doesn't help me)
- Take anti-depressants (Been on two kinds of anti-depressants, didn't help at all)
- Go to therapy (I've been going to a psychologist for many years and while that has certainly helped in a lot of ways, it can't help me enough to solve the underlying problem and I can only afford to go once every 2 weeks which isn't nearly enough anyway in my situation)
- Go take a walk (You think I haven't taken walks in 10 years?)
- Things will get better, just keep trying (I've been trying for over 10 years, when does the part where it gets better start?)
- Contact this hotline/chat (I've done that before and it made me feel worse)
- DM me (That's very nice of you, but if your other advice to me is about how things get better we really have nothing to talk about)
- Pick up a hobby (I've had many hobbies over those 10 years and it didn't help, but also I barely have the energy to get out of bed anymore let alone pick up a new hobby)
- Get out there (I have social anxiety and being out there is extremely stressful for me and doesn't help)

It's crazy to me that people still give these kinds of advice to someone who's dealt with this shit for 10 years. You really I couldn't think of these things myself or that I hadn't heard someone else give that exact same advice a million times before?

Anyway, rant over. Let me get to my actual question.

So putting aside all of the hackneyed advice I've already mentioned, is there any advice that you've ever heard that was actually both original and helped you? Or is there really nothing new under the sun?

 

[CuriosityAndCat]

It's more likely you can give better advice to others who deal with depression. :)
Not to pile on.
- Have you gotten a complete blood test to make sure depression and anxiety isn't stemming from something like low vitamin D, low testosterone, allergies, or the like? It seems common for psychiatrist offices to miss doing that and just prescribe pills.

- There's a lot more than 2 antidepressants and it's pretty common to need to go through 4-8 to find something that works. A lot of them treat anxiety as well. Esketamine treatment and TMS has worked for a lot of people who have treatment resistant depression. For these later 2 playing video games during.

- Gyms and walks suck. I hate this advice. Find something that you'd actually want to do. Listening to audiobooks while swimming/biking is mine. As far as Audiobooks checkout "Kaiju Preservation Society" or "Expeditionary Force" series or "Dungeon Crawler Carl" series. Listening to something that's light and fun is much better than something that has a whole lot of recommendations.

 

[KafkaF]

It's more likely you can give better advice to others who deal with depression. :)
Not to pile on.
- Have you gotten a complete blood test to make sure depression and anxiety isn't stemming from something like low vitamin D, low testosterone, allergies, or the like? It seems common for psychiatrist offices to miss doing that and just prescribe pills.

- There's a lot more than 2 antidepressants and it's pretty common to need to go through 4-8 to find something that works. A lot of them treat anxiety as well. Esketamine treatment and TMS has worked for a lot of people who have treatment resistant depression. For these later 2 playing video games during.

- Gyms and walks suck. I hate this advice. Find something that you'd actually want to do. Listening to audiobooks while swimming/biking is mine. As far as Audiobooks checkout "Kaiju Preservation Society" or "Expeditionary Force" series or "Dungeon Crawler Carl" series. Listening to something that's light and fun is much better than something that has a whole lot of recommendations.

Yes, I've gotten a blood test. No, that's not where my depression comes from. All of my blood values are in order.

I actually already know about all of these things. I studied psychology in college. I'm not open to trying more antidepressants unless I can find one without the risk of sexual side effects and I don't know of any. I'm not up for trying something that probably won't work and that'll also risk taking away the one thing that brings me a modicum of pleasure. Ketamine is something I'm looking into (I asked my doctor about it last week) and TMS I'm skeptical of but am also looking into (going to ask a psychiatrist about it once I manage to get a meeting).

None of that works. My anhedonia has become complete. During previous depressions I was still able to enjoy video games and writing, even if I could enjoy nothing else. But this time around that's not even true anymore. I can't write anymore and I tried playing video games but it did nothing for me. I could barely even concentrate on it and it brought me no pleasure.

 

[CuriosityAndCat]

I think you might be more of an expert on depression than some therapists.

Compete anhedonia is the worst. Why anything. :(

I think most of them have sexual side effects, but they either resolve or are temporary. Why avoid them?

 

[CuriosityAndCat]

1 piece of advice for both TMS and esketamine:
Play a video game that can take up your attention during treatment, I did XCOM 2.

I was considering trying MDMA and psilocybin at home. Is this bad idea?
Any suggestions you have for your first year self?

 

[SleepySept]

As someone with hormonal imbalances issues and moodswings being effected by literally anything, sometimes exercising puts me in an extremely irrational mood, so I hate that being suggested lightly.

I don't think cliche advice is bad personally. More of people say advice without thinking about the nuances, or that people need to have a specific mindset towards the advice for it to be of any use.

There was actually one cliche advice that did work for me, which is yoga. I always thought yoga was for physical wellness, but one time I watched a yoga video for scoliosis since i was having posture issues (by the channel Yoga with Adriene) and the way she talked to the viewers made me cry a few minutes into the video. Her motto is just to do "what feels good" and it just put a lot of pressure off myself instead of feeling incompetent all the time.

I do genuinely believe yoga and meditation are both things that would help me if I could push myself to do them daily since I have the issue of overthinking. Easier said then done of course, but it was nice to ACTUALLY understand why both of these things can help you, besides people just saying "it helps" somehow.

 

[CuriosityAndCat]

As someone with hormonal imbalances issues and moodswings being effected by literally anything, sometimes exercising puts me in an extremely irrational mood, so I hate that being suggested lightly.

I don't think cliche advice is bad personally. More of people say advice without thinking about the nuances, or that people need to have a specific mindset towards the advice for it to be of any use.

There was actually one cliche advice that did work for me, which is yoga. I always thought yoga was for physical wellness, but one time I watched a yoga video for scoliosis since i was having posture issues (by the channel Yoga with Adriene) and the way she talked to the viewers made me cry a few minutes into the video. Her motto is just to do "what feels good" and it just put a lot of pressure off myself instead of feeling incompetent all the time.

I do genuinely believe yoga and meditation are both things that would help me if I could push myself to do them daily since I have the issue of overthinking. Easier said then done of course, but it was nice to ACTUALLY understand why both of these things can help you, besides people just saying "it helps" somehow.

I can't keep up with meditating, yoga, or working out at home by myself. I signed up with art of living to do meditation regularly and that's worked for me. I don't need to push myself as much since it's scheduled and guided.

 

[Blackpepperpancake]

I'm a type of person that prefer to vent or just want someone to listen to me, so maybe there are lots of people who'd rather need a companian rather than advice. Also not everyone is good at giving advice or sit still listening someone venting, I prefer to find my own solution rather than taking it from strangers on th internet or people I rarely close to.

 

[KafkaF]

I think you might be more of an expert on depression than some therapists.

Compete anhedonia is the worst. Why anything. :(

I think most of them have sexual side effects, but they either resolve or are temporary. Why avoid them?

Lol. Well, I did both study psychology AND have been dealing with depression for over 10 years. Although I'm not a therapist, I did experimental psychology. Which is to say that my speciality was in designing and interpreting studies to test various psychological mechanisms, treatments, etc. Haven't ever worked in the field though. Just went to college for it.

Jup, it hasn't been a picnic... This is definitely the worst depression I've ever gone through by far. Which is saying something when you've gone through 6 of them.

Because previous anti-depressants didn't work in any positive way on me and I don't want them to take away the one thing in my entire life that gives me just the slightest bit of pleasure.

1 piece of advice for both TMS and esketamine:
Play a video game that can take up your attention during treatment, I did XCOM 2.

I was considering trying MDMA and psilocybin at home. Is this bad idea?
Any suggestions you have for your first year self?

I'll remember that, if I ever get either.

I don't really want to give advice on that stuff. We didn't really cover that in any of my classes (I think maybe it was mentioned once?). All I'd be able to tell you is what I've heard outside of that. And I've never used them. Plus, I'm not sure I feel comfortable giving treatment advice for anyone else anyway, particularly when it comes to drugs. Since I'm not a psychiatrist.

As someone with hormonal imbalances issues and moodswings being effected by literally anything, sometimes exercising puts me in an extremely irrational mood, so I hate that being suggested lightly.

I don't think cliche advice is bad personally. More of people say advice without thinking about the nuances, or that people need to have a specific mindset towards the advice for it to be of any use.

There was actually one cliche advice that did work for me, which is yoga. I always thought yoga was for physical wellness, but one time I watched a yoga video for scoliosis since i was having posture issues (by the channel Yoga with Adriene) and the way she talked to the viewers made me cry a few minutes into the video. Her motto is just to do "what feels good" and it just put a lot of pressure off myself instead of feeling incompetent all the time.

I do genuinely believe yoga and meditation are both things that would help me if I could push myself to do them daily since I have the issue of overthinking. Easier said then done of course, but it was nice to ACTUALLY understand why both of these things can help you, besides people just saying "it helps" somehow.

If that works for you it's great, obviously. No cliché advice has ever worked for me though...

 

[antilife]

Nope never

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Nope. I wish I had but I got a feeling that this advice doesn't exist. Besides, what would help me the most isn't advice but rather having somebody be with me irl who could give me pointers on what I'm doing wrong irl or how I can improve (as, due to my autism, I struggle on understanding where I go wrong without somebody explicitly explaining it to me). I'd also be helped the most if I lived in an environment irl where I feel safe.. which I don't right now. Sometimes, it isn't even advice that could help us but rather actions

 

[Dot]

So, I've been dealing with depression on and off for over 10 years now. I made a Reddit post recently on how I was feeling and I got a bunch of "advice" from people (even though I didn't ask for it and I was just venting). And the main thing that sprang out at me is how these people apparently didn't realize that the advice they were giving isn't particularly new or helpful to someone who's been struggling with depression as long as I have.

Some examples of the advice I got were:
- Go to the gym (I've been working out for longer than I've even had depression, doesn't help me)
- Take anti-depressants (Been on two kinds of anti-depressants, didn't help at all)
- Go to therapy (I've been going to a psychologist for many years and while that has certainly helped in a lot of ways, it can't help me enough to solve the underlying problem and I can only afford to go once every 2 weeks which isn't nearly enough anyway in my situation)
- Go take a walk (You think I haven't taken walks in 10 years?)
- Things will get better, just keep trying (I've been trying for over 10 years, when does the part where it gets better start?)
- Contact this hotline/chat (I've done that before and it made me feel worse)
- DM me (That's very nice of you, but if your other advice to me is about how things get better we really have nothing to talk about)
- Pick up a hobby (I've had many hobbies over those 10 years and it didn't help, but also I barely have the energy to get out of bed anymore let alone pick up a new hobby)
- Get out there (I have social anxiety and being out there is extremely stressful for me and doesn't help)

It's crazy to me that people still give these kinds of advice to someone who's dealt with this shit for 10 years. You really I couldn't think of these things myself or that I hadn't heard someone else give that exact same advice a million times before?

Anyway, rant over. Let me get to my actual question.

So putting aside all of the hackneyed advice I've already mentioned, is there any advice that you've ever heard that was actually both original and helped you? Or is there really nothing new under the sun?

Slf hve lernd v mch abt mnd-bdy sde of deprssn & Y sme treatmnts hlp sme ppl & nt othrs

Am currntly puttng 2gthr a 'thrpy typs xplaind' t/ try 2 hlp ppl lern abt th/ mny dffrnt apprchs out thre

Sme of whch tht hd a gd effct fr slf b4 slf sabtagd evrythng wth th/ hypnoss ws EFT & somatc xperncng - thy bth helpd in dffrnt wys & thre = gd bk calld "Th/ Bdy Kps Th/ Scre" t/ hlp xplain Y standrd tlkng thrpis d/ nt alwys hlp

Thre = also an artcl in th/ thrpy-styls thred rgardng tp-dwn vs bottm up thrpies & agn Y sme wrk & othrs d/ nt

Thre r also bdy-fcusd well-bein martl arts lke Systema whch r geard 2wrds nervs systm regulatn & trma-rlease
Certn mssages lke Shiatsu mssge hve also bn knwn t/ gve lrge emotnl rsponss bcse of emotns tht th/ bdy = holdng on2

Othr advce tht ws helpfl ws learnng propr emotnl xpressn as mny ppl hve bn 4rced in2 holdng emotns dwn whch causs all srts of issus

Am opn t/ givng mre info on n.e of thse thngs - th/ therpy thred tht am puttng 2gthr = jst takng a whle bcse slf hve own concntratn issus & = lt of infrmatn t/ orgnise

 

[D!psh!tMcgee]

So, I've been dealing with depression on and off for over 10 years now. I made a Reddit post recently on how I was feeling and I got a bunch of "advice" from people (even though I didn't ask for it and I was just venting). And the main thing that sprang out at me is how these people apparently didn't realize that the advice they were giving isn't particularly new or helpful to someone who's been struggling with depression as long as I have.

Some examples of the advice I got were:
- Go to the gym (I've been working out for longer than I've even had depression, doesn't help me)
- Take anti-depressants (Been on two kinds of anti-depressants, didn't help at all)
- Go to therapy (I've been going to a psychologist for many years and while that has certainly helped in a lot of ways, it can't help me enough to solve the underlying problem and I can only afford to go once every 2 weeks which isn't nearly enough anyway in my situation)
- Go take a walk (You think I haven't taken walks in 10 years?)
- Things will get better, just keep trying (I've been trying for over 10 years, when does the part where it gets better start?)
- Contact this hotline/chat (I've done that before and it made me feel worse)
- DM me (That's very nice of you, but if your other advice to me is about how things get better we really have nothing to talk about)
- Pick up a hobby (I've had many hobbies over those 10 years and it didn't help, but also I barely have the energy to get out of bed anymore let alone pick up a new hobby)
- Get out there (I have social anxiety and being out there is extremely stressful for me and doesn't help)

It's crazy to me that people still give these kinds of advice to someone who's dealt with this shit for 10 years. You really I couldn't think of these things myself or that I hadn't heard someone else give that exact same advice a million times before?

Anyway, rant over. Let me get to my actual question.

So putting aside all of the hackneyed advice I've already mentioned, is there any advice that you've ever heard that was actually both original and helped you? Or is there really nothing new under the sun?

it kinda messed up but just be an ass stop caring about other people its dog eat dog caring about others is useless unless they serve some purpose to you don't fuck people over for no reason tho another thing is fuck hobbies i prefer obsessions they are much more effective find something ya love an go buck wild for me i obsess over guns and the military (ik basic af) once you start to dream of said obsession you have probs gotten to a point where it is effective

 

[TooConscious]

People put effort in pretty often when you feel a genuine human connection and not just horrible materialistic suffering creators. But being a human is pretty simple and most wise words are just regurgitated using different literal words and grammar. The system wants us feeling all of life's ills so it can keep feeding off pain and misery.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

Yes, but it was from a person on this forum. I am now depression free. Tbh Reddit advice is worthless and so are most therapists, you have to get advice from people that have actually suffered to the degree that you have. People are horrified by things that I've done/been through, while some depressed people don't even blink twice when I say something really deranged.

 

[KafkaF]

Yes, but it was from a person on this forum. I am now depression free. Tbh Reddit advice is worthless and so are most therapists, you have to get advice from people that have actually suffered to the degree that you have. People are horrified by things that I've done/been through, while some depressed people don't even blink twice when I say something really deranged.

I don't know what your experience is with therapists, but mine is actually pretty good. Otherwise I would've been dead many years ago.

Anyway, what advice was it that you got? Or is it something very personal that wouldn't be able to help anyone else?

 

[penguinl0v3s]

I don't know what your experience is with therapists, but mine is actually pretty good. Otherwise I would've been dead many years ago.

Anyway, what advice was it that you got? Or is it something very personal that wouldn't be able to help anyone else?

Wasn't particularly personal, but it was specifically said for my situation. It can be generalized though.

He gave me a pro-choice perspective, which was good for me because I have never believed in traditional pro-life philosophies. Since all the advice I was told in the past was anti-suicide and I don't believe in anti-suicide morality, it was extremely unhelpful. I had this problem where I knew I could get better, but didn't want to since I was so tired and depressed. At the same time I was scared to take die. Basically what he said was that I should give myself 6 months trying my hardest to live, practicing healthy habits (which he helped me with), doing better in school, and then I could assess my life at that point and either take my SN or continue with life.

Even though it's rather generic, it was really helpful for me because it gave me a goal that I cared about aka "proving myself to be worthy of ctb" which ironically made me recover. Ctb was really the only thing I cared about at the time. A lot of my depression was from aimlessness too, and I wasn't aimless after being given that task and recovering gave me ideas for what I want my future goals to be.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I once had dinner with a friend of my Mum's and I've never felt so understood in all my life. Not in a rude way but she could more or less finish off sentences for me. I was actually trying not to reveal to or burden her with how unhappy I truly was but she could see through a lot if it. I think it's because she had had plenty of struggles in her own life. I don't know for sure but I imagine she probably did go and seek help at some stages.

Anyhow- not so much in terms of practical advise but I suppose psychological advice- she helped me. I kept saying this or that I was feeling was 'silly' but she was so validating- saying that nothing we feel is silly because- obviously- it is affecting us. Plus- she encouraged me to feel all my emotions. That it was important not to repress stuff. That helped. Plus- while I love my Dad so much- she could see that basically- he was bored about hearing about my problems- which may be fair enough but didn't help me. Maybe it wasn't advice exactly but it helped me to feel more validated in how I felt.