Venting Do you ever feel like your friends are better and happier without you

[philmore444]

Life has been so lonely lately, ever since one of my closest friends I've known since childhood got into a polyamorous relationship, life has been really dark and lonely.

life fucking sucked but at least I got to hang out and vent to someone, it was really nice, even though they mostly called me full of insults most of the time when I was down, though they did care.
I have done nothing but doom-scroll on Twitter or lay in bed or played the same games over and over again. I have 0 people to talk to, mostly discord friends but I am too afraid to vent too I used to vent a lot but It was too much so I stopped. I used to have someone to vent to, but they don't really care anymore, I'm too much for most people, they are happier without me, and they constantly go on and on about how much their life sucks, but I have been into VRchat sessions with him and his partners, he is really happy.

I had a partner too I broke up with recently, I was too much for them and they are right, I am getting worse, not to overshare but they worked on a really popular Pikmin 2 mod and I saw them be really happy about the release with there fellow friends/devs.

there was this other friend I used to hang out with, but I feel like they don't wanna do anything to do with me anymore, I just feel like I make them miserable. they probably don't wanna do anything with me.

I do... sort of have someone to hang out with, but I ain't gonna lie I wanna kill myself sometimes when talking to them they go on and on about Twitter drama or some bullshit they saw on kiwi farms.

I used to have a space were I hung out with a group of friends but they all sort of disbanded


Here I am, wasting space and not really doing much, I just feel like... all of them are happier without me and they all go on and on about how their lives suck and blah blah blah, but I just make them miserable I make all of them miserable, they are much happier without me

 

[pulsar]

What are friends?

 

[philmore444]

What are friends?

I don't know

 

[star_shine]

I mean

Life has been so lonely lately, ever since one of my closest friends I've known since childhood got into a polyamorous relationship, life has been really dark and lonely.

life fucking sucked but at least I got to hang out and vent to someone, it was really nice, even though they mostly called me full of insults most of the time when I was down, though they did care.
I have done nothing but doom-scroll on Twitter or lay in bed or played the same games over and over again. I have 0 people to talk to, mostly discord friends but I am too afraid to vent too I used to vent a lot but It was too much so I stopped. I used to have someone to vent to, but they don't really care anymore, I'm too much for most people, they are happier without me, and they constantly go on and on about how much their life sucks, but I have been into VRchat sessions with him and his partners, he is really happy.

I had a partner too I broke up with recently, I was too much for them and they are right, I am getting worse, not to overshare but they worked on a really popular Pikmin 2 mod and I saw them be really happy about the release with there fellow friends/devs.

there was this other friend I used to hang out with, but I feel like they don't wanna do anything to do with me anymore, I just feel like I make them miserable. they probably don't wanna do anything with me.

I do... sort of have someone to hang out with, but I ain't gonna lie I wanna kill myself sometimes when talking to them they go on and on about Twitter drama or some bullshit they saw on kiwi farms.

I used to have a space were I hung out with a group of friends but they all sort of disbanded


Here I am, wasting space and not really doing much, I just feel like... all of them are happier without me and they all go on and on about how their lives suck and blah blah blah, but I just make them miserable I make all of them miserable, they are much happier without me

I have those those thoughts alot abt like my frineds would be better off without me and i have seen ppl get annoyed a bit when i vent and talk abt killing myself alot , i get it's a sad topic but it kinda feels lonely alot of times even tho i have a few ppl by my side and a few 2-3 online friends and just so you know ^^ you can vent to me and I'm all ears :> and i hope life gets a better for ya qwq i would obviously suggest to not end it but in the end of the day it's your choice and i just hope u get atleast sumone irl who would be by your side

 

[NoLoveNoHope]

We're quite alike maybe you can PM me and we can talk tomorrow (I got stuff to do rn but I just saw your post). The only advice I've really learnt over all this time is to not often vent or talk to others since they can't really help. I just use forums like this so people don't feel a responsibility to respond and such.

I mean

I have those those thoughts alot abt like my frineds would be better off without me and i have seen ppl get annoyed a bit when i vent and talk abt killing myself alot , i get it's a sad topic but it kinda feels lonely alot of times even tho i have a few ppl by my side and a few 2-3 online friends and just so you know ^^ you can vent to me and I'm all ears :> and i hope life gets a better for ya qwq i would obviously suggest to not end it but in the end of the day it's your choice and i just hope u get atleast sumone irl who would be by your side

I think it's because we over do it, I've had people to tell me just to plain and simply fuck off. Even the ones I love the most included - people I'd sacrifice everything for. I think it's much better to vent and talk in an open space like SS. I've gone through so much pain and puts so many others in pain just trying to cope. Most people aren't open to talking about suicide openly, only the more commonly accepted parts of it like getting help, getting on meds etc. I'm finding people on here are way better to talk to about suicide and give me much more satisfying answers than alienating me.

I know you didn't ask for advice or my input but I thought you might appreciate it. I hope things get better for you too and just thank you for replying to posts like these.

 

[Memoka]

I call it fair self-esteem.
But I think that my friends / parents / someone else would be better off without my existence, or simply nothing would change.
And it's probably better not to start relationships with people. if you want CTB. In an ideal world. but in a perfect world you wouldn't want CTB
We are just grains of sand.

 

[star_shine]

We're quite alike maybe you can PM me and we can talk tomorrow (I got stuff to do rn but I just saw your post). The only advice I've really learnt over all this time is to not often vent or talk to others since they can't really help. I just use forums like this so people don't feel a responsibility to respond and such.

I think it's because we over do it, I've had people to tell me just to plain and simply fuck off. Even the ones I love the most included - people I'd sacrifice everything for. I think it's much better to vent and talk in an open space like SS. I've gone through so much pain and puts so many others in pain just trying to cope. Most people aren't open to talking about suicide openly, only the more commonly accepted parts of it like getting help, getting on meds etc. I'm finding people on here are way better to talk to about suicide and give me much more satisfying answers than alienating me.

I know you didn't ask for advice or my input but I thought you might appreciate it. I hope things get better for you too and just thank you for replying to posts like these.

I am so sorry I saw your reply today after a year... But yeah I got it too but now ppl say open up? Tell me what u feel but when I do it , they just get annoyed or bothered :1 but yeh thanks for replying to my message! I hope your doing alright now.

 

[tbroken]

I think the opposite in my case