Do you ever feel like a coward?

[suicidal.lady]

Hi,

I really am fed up of living like this. My life (as I'm sure many other lives) is crap
I just want to end it all
I try and try to ligature to end it but I'm such a coward
Please could someone help me in succeeding?
Thanks

 

[Huntfish34]

I feel like a coward on a daily basis. Sorry, I don't know much about hanging to help you.

Thoughts and prayers -

 

[FuneralCry]

After all, suicide can certainly be very difficult so it doesn't exactly mean that you are cowardly feeling like you are unable to go through with it. Of course if methods like hanging were easier I would be long gone at this point, that method scares me because of the risks involved. I really envy and admire the courage of those who have managed to succeed with it though.

But I do understand that it really can be so awful and tiring feeling so trapped in this world, it really shouldn't be so difficult for us to finally free ourselves from this hellish world, all those who wish to leave should be able to exit in a straightforward and peaceful way. Anyway, I hope that you find the freedom that you wish for.

 

[pyamu]

Every day. I wasn't supposed to live this long.

 

[almostoutofhere]

Yes; every time I failed an attempt…

 

[MidnightCat]

I do feel like a coward too.

I've been thinking to ctb for so F long and yet I'm still here, I feel like a liar too.

However, I try to think it's not my time yet if I've not catched the bus yet, not due cowardness.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I am the very definition of coward - I can't even look at Instagram without suffering anxiety… I have no strength whatsoever… my emotional constitution is zero…

 

[yufei]

懦弱自私
但信任和真诚 并不总能置换理解和善意

 

[AerialBoundaries]

Not at all. There is nothing remotely cowardly about suffering from mental illness.

If one makes plans to end their own life, then decides otherwise when the time comes, that's perfectly normal. It doesn't make you a coward. Our natural instinct is to self preserve. Going against that is very difficult.

Many people also believe that those who take their own lives are cowards. I don't see it that way, at all. It's courageous to keep on going when you're suffering and the same applies if one takes the irrevocable action of ending their life.

 

[Inferno]

Yes, I am. I am a fucking coward, but I don't care. My whole life I've been a short effeminate weak kid who was pushed around by others. I'm insecure and can't face my fears head on. Part of the reason I'm here and considering CTB is because I'm a coward who can't face the struggles of life and the responsibilities I have as an adult. I'm pathetic and feeble.

 

[CandyCane]

No. I'm not a coward at all. Most people with my type of harm want to die. I think I'm brave to have made it this far.

 

[Lone_Traveler90]

I failed twice as well. I don't think that not being able to go through with it is cowardice.
Survival instinct is much stronger than will power, it is very hard thing to overcome. Otherwise species would not be able to survive. If I am not wrong most people who successfully commited suicide were under influence of alkohol or drugs and I think you can guess why.
I don't think.any of us here are cowards, I think that overcoming SI is the most difficult thing human can do.

 

[BGooG]

Coward? I've never thought along those lines. Indecisive, certainly. Lazy, definitely. Insecure and unsure, sure. I have my reasons for doing some things, but not others. Even when I know the things I do (or don't do because they terrify me) have an underlying rationale and basis, it often doesn't make it easier to accept. And so I suffer the consequences of my actions.

Sorry, none of this makes sense. I guess I would suggest that courage isn't really involved in what we do or don't do. For me it's about understanding motivations, and whether we can accept those motivations.

 

[Wannagonow]

I don't feel like I'm a coward. Just fearful. Fearful of making an attempt that will end up being both painful and unsuccessful.

 

[Disappointered]

It's one of the reasons I'm here and ironically, the main reason I'm *still* here.

 

[DukeDestroyer]

I never thought ctb is cowardly. My thoughts are that it is courageous and very bold gesture to the world. I for one, am not a coward. I overcame 1000 fears when I was younger. I was literally scared out of my mind because of everything. I hate my piece of shit brain, it has proved to be useless and detrimental to my life as an adult. I have to live with it until my jail cell dies.

 

[Why Me?]

I feel like a coward for going so long without CTBing. At this point this is ridiculous.

 

[bennydiazapine]

Yeah, after my failed OD attempt I attempted suspension hanging after researching it on here, I couldn't go through with it SI kicked in and I would relief the pressure.

 

[jodes2]

Dying can be fucking hard. Don't beat yourself up, you're not a coward

 

[Pipsqueak!]

This and it's so frustrating how whenever I make plans about suicide I can never fully go through with it. The closest I ever got was drowning but I stopped out of fear.

 

[HouseofMortok]

Currently being a coward at 1.42 in the morning wishing I had the strength to go tell the piss head neighbours to stfu!! 50 odd year old, pissed, shouting, screaming, singing, typical arrogant ignorant brain dead sheeple pond scum, play victim when it's benefit claim time, utter fraudulent scum. Programmed to fear consequences of my actions and I really wish they would die. Wastes of Oxygen.