Do you ever feel assured you want to die?

[Fardarmist]

Yeah when I was a teenager I felt that way before. But it was over things I should not have felt so strongly about. Right now I feel dead set on finding the quickest and most painless way to die possible. It's all I ever think about while continuing to go to work everyday. Smiling, trying to be the professional day to day. To me I look at it as my life is complete. I don't want to see what happens with it anymore. I'm not happy with the way my life ended up. To me my life was a failed experience. I lost something I really shouldn't have and I don't think I can live without or that I cant accept living without it. In its wake all I feel is how I failed day after day.

 

[SomewhereAlongThe]

I have to be absolutely sure about my decision, so in a way yeah, I feel assured now at this point. I also have feelings that this life turned out to be a failed experience, because I have found nothing fulfilling in my life. It feels like my genetic makeup is a failure, with nothing to offer me to use in life. I don't know those feelings of loss you mentioned, but I definitely understand feeling like life is a loss. That's what it feels like having a life you have nothing to show for.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I don't want to die; I would rather live if I could. But… I can't. It's just becoming too much to handle. I don't have a reason to live.

 

[brokeandbroken]

I don't want to die; I would rather live if I could. But… I can't. It's just becoming too much to handle. I don't have a reason to live.

Essentially this for me. My life is completely devoid of good things. Every single good, decent, or okay thing has been stripped away from me. What's to live for in the absence of anything good or decent.