Do you constantly compare yourself to others?

[Beachedwhale]

That person has more than me...those people have xyz....I do not have xyz...it's impossible to get xyz now or it'll be uncertain and take an extremely long time and I'm quickly deteriorating.. etc etc

 

[motel rooms]

Of course. We're all stupid. We should compare ourselves to those who have it worse than us, but we're all stupid

 

[signifying nothing]

My way of thinking is that, beyond the basics, the things you have are a burden, so the more you have the more burdened you are. They're like a 'to do' list in a different form.

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

Constantly. But not in some envious kinda way. I know that it's my fault I haven't accomplished anything. I know I'm not smart, I'm not beautiful, I'm not determined, no goals or hobbies even. I don't blame anyone. I just know I'm not good enough, so to speak.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Why? I'm beneath everyone anyways and I know my place.

 

[IHaveNoName]

I do a lot but I'm shit at everything.

 

[sadghost]

I do, I think we all do; however, the extent to which you compare yourself to others and the reasons why differ among us.

I no longer compare myself to others in order to gauge my relative 'successfulness' or social status in the hierarchy of society. I used to do this constantly but I simply no longer care.

I fundamentally reject the common idea that "success" is achieved by:
• Conforming to popular beauty standards
• Going to school for 12 years and then obtaining a bachelor's degree (but really due to credential inflation, it's more like 1-2 more degrees on top of that now)
• Getting a high-paying job
• Owning a house, getting married to someone who makes an equal amount or more than you
• Having kids so they can repeat the cycle
• Finally retiring after working for most of your life

Since this is typically how "success" is viewed, I can compare myself to others and see that I am not in line with this trajectory. But I don't dwell on it, I don't care to anymore.

 

[motel rooms]

My way of thinking is that, beyond the basics, the things you have are a burden, so the more you have the more burdened you are. They're like a 'to do' list in a different form.

I don't want other men's things, I want their bodies & minds

 

[signifying nothing]

I don't want other men's things, I want their bodies & minds

You'll have to try and comfort yourself with the knowledge that their bodies and minds will age and fade with time like everyone else's (and their loss will likely be greater).

 

[motel rooms]

You'll have to try and comfort yourself with the knowledge that their bodies and minds will age and fade with time like everyone else's (and their loss will likely be greater).

Nope, that would be too reasonable. Not my style.

 

[Beachedwhale]

I do, I think we all do; however, the extent to which you compare yourself to others and the reasons why differ among us.

I no longer compare myself to others in order to gauge my relative 'successfulness' or social status in the hierarchy of society. I used to do this constantly but I simply no longer care.

I fundamentally reject the common idea that "success" is achieved by:
• Conforming to popular beauty standards
• Going to school for 12 years and then obtaining a bachelor's degree (but really due to credential inflation, it's more like 1-2 more degrees on top of that now)
• Getting a high-paying job
• Owning a house, getting married to someone who makes an equal amount or more than you
• Having kids so they can repeat the cycle
• Finally retiring after working for most of your life

Since this is typically how "success" is viewed, I can compare myself to others and see that I am not in line with this trajectory. But I don't dwell on it, I don't care to anymore.

What if it's comparing to someone who has what you want but you can't get it

 

[LastFlowers]

You'll have to try and comfort yourself with the knowledge that their bodies and minds will age and fade with time like everyone else's (and their loss will likely be greater).

Their loss will never be greater, they still got to experience and hold onto more than others can even dream of.
Like you said, everything fades for everyone..but that just means what we have and experience before that time comes-is all that's ever worth anything.
And really, the more you have, the easier it is to lose something, as it will just be one thing lost among many.

 

[Beachedwhale]

You'll have to try and comfort yourself with the knowledge that their bodies and minds will age and fade with time like everyone else's (and their loss will likely be greater).

Not how it happens.

 

[signifying nothing]

Their loss will never be greater, they still got to experience and hold onto more than others can even dream of.
Like you said, everything fades for everyone..but that just means what we have and experience before that time comes-is all that's ever worth anything.
And really, the more you have, the easier it is to lose something, as it will just be one thing lost among many.

Not how it happens.

It was just a suggestion about how you might go about thinking about things differently. Take it or leave it.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I do, I think we all do; however, the extent to which you compare yourself to others and the reasons why differ among us.

I no longer compare myself to others in order to gauge my relative 'successfulness' or social status in the hierarchy of society. I used to do this constantly but I simply no longer care.

I fundamentally reject the common idea that "success" is achieved by:
• Conforming to popular beauty standards
• Going to school for 12 years and then obtaining a bachelor's degree (but really due to credential inflation, it's more like 1-2 more degrees on top of that now)
• Getting a high-paying job
• Owning a house, getting married to someone who makes an equal amount or more than you
• Having kids so they can repeat the cycle
• Finally retiring after working for most of your life

Since this is typically how "success" is viewed, I can compare myself to others and see that I am not in line with this trajectory. But I don't dwell on it, I don't care to anymore.

Y

I do, I think we all do; however, the extent to which you compare yourself to others and the reasons why differ among us.

I no longer compare myself to others in order to gauge my relative 'successfulness' or social status in the hierarchy of society. I used to do this constantly but I simply no longer care.

I fundamentally reject the common idea that "success" is achieved by:
• Conforming to popular beauty standards
• Going to school for 12 years and then obtaining a bachelor's degree (but really due to credential inflation, it's more like 1-2 more degrees on top of that now)
• Getting a high-paying job
• Owning a house, getting married to someone who makes an equal amount or more than you
• Having kids so they can repeat the cycle
• Finally retiring after working for most of your life

Since this is typically how "success" is viewed, I can compare myself to others and see that I am not in line with this trajectory. But I don't dwell on it, I don't care to anymore.

Same here I no longer care. I won't be around to "care" anyway. I accept that it just wasn't meant for me in this society

Constantly. But not in some envious kinda way. I know that it's my fault I haven't accomplished anything. I know I'm not smart, I'm not beautiful, I'm not determined, no goals or hobbies even. I don't blame anyone. I just know I'm not good enough, so to speak.

same. I'm not beautiful, I'm not pretty, I have no talents, and no drives just don't care about living anymore

 

[sadghost]

What if it's comparing to someone who has what you want but you can't get it

I'm able to recognize when someone else has something I would ideally like to have, but I no longer feel any sense of jealousy or envy about it because above all else, the only thing I truly want is to not exist.

 

[nightnightnitrite]

All the time unfortunately): I always compare myself to people who have bullied me or are morally worse than me and wonder why they are better or get it easier in life.

 

[BlankUser]

Yeah I do compare myself. But at the same time I try to understand that this is meaningless. We all have different circumstances and differrent situations in life. Some people have it better because they were in the right place at the right time. Some were just dealt a better deck of cards. Comparing yourself to others will only make you feel worse.

 

[FuneralCry]

I guess it is human nature to do that. I feel like I used to do this more when I was around other people as a teenager but I guess now I just see everything all as pointless really. It doesn't matter what others have as death just takes it all away.

 

[WornOutLife]

I used to do it A LOT!!!!!!
What happened in the end? I just ended up feeling worse than before.

It's very difficult not to do it and social networks certainly don't help because we tend to check on them all the time.

I remember when I turned 25 and I had friends who already had cars, a beautiful gf, much more money than me, were in shape, etc.

I'm just me and I do things at my own pace.

 

[Deleted member 8579]

I suffer from this as well, although I don't even compare myself to concrete persons.
I know that regardless of whatever I do, there are people out there who are able to do it much better in far less time,
so why bother?

 

[Some1's_Wasted_Fetus]

All the time. I wish I could take the best traits of everyone around me and copy and paste them into myself :(

 

[Meditation guide]

I see others who have things I would like to have, but it's not like it bothers me very much if at all.
I've been very fortunate in lots of ways so maybe that's why.

I tend to think about big things also rather than what people have, or what I don't have in comparison.