![W3akCr3atur3](/data/avatars/l/20/20425.jpg?1683406504)
W3akCr3atur3
Empty and hollow
- Aug 3, 2020
- 354
Didn't think I would ever visit recovery section out there, but oh well, I'm here.
It's still hard to believe and accept for me, but I'm getting into a relationship, although it's only on the internet for now, it makes me pretty happy, which is pretty fucking unaccustomed, to say the least. I'm used to feeling of emptiness, hopelessness and despair. And now I'm feeling hope and relief, which I haven't experienced in probably years.
The question is how do you stop yourself from self-sabotage and believing you don't deserve happiness? Feels like I'm in a toxic relationships with my depression/suffering and it doesn't want me to let go. I'm having intrusive thoughts about blocking my partner, saying dumb stuff and coming back to usual miserable state. It's only intrusive thoughts and I won't ever do it, but it's still a burden on my shoulders.
I really wouldn't want to lose this opportunity to recover, furthermore, disappoint my partner, because how genuine and helpful she is.
Any advice or feedback in general is highly appreciated.
It's still hard to believe and accept for me, but I'm getting into a relationship, although it's only on the internet for now, it makes me pretty happy, which is pretty fucking unaccustomed, to say the least. I'm used to feeling of emptiness, hopelessness and despair. And now I'm feeling hope and relief, which I haven't experienced in probably years.
The question is how do you stop yourself from self-sabotage and believing you don't deserve happiness? Feels like I'm in a toxic relationships with my depression/suffering and it doesn't want me to let go. I'm having intrusive thoughts about blocking my partner, saying dumb stuff and coming back to usual miserable state. It's only intrusive thoughts and I won't ever do it, but it's still a burden on my shoulders.
I really wouldn't want to lose this opportunity to recover, furthermore, disappoint my partner, because how genuine and helpful she is.
Any advice or feedback in general is highly appreciated.