Do you also feel like you've never loved someone? (in the ''romantic'' sense)

[lnlybnny]

I only love my parasocial loved ones basically.

I feel unsettled by people who seem to love me ''too much'' romantically, it makes me feel trapped and pressured to reciprocate. The two times I had a ''relationship'' I always felt like I needed to convince myself that I love the person until I sort of did it (fake it till you make it... but not really).

I feel incapable to love someone like this.

There's this person I've been with for 6y now but I don't feel I love her, I feel so uncomfortable when she declares her love for me (but I'm too much of a pussy to point this out to her rn). I enjoy having someone out there for me just in case, for when I get too needy or clingy, even though I spend 99% of my time alone and prefer it that way. I feel like a douchebag. I'm just comfortable in the relationship so I have my emotional/physical needs covered when I need it. When we fight/she breaks up to make a scene I used to get extremely anxious because of this emotional thing, but the last time she did this I kinda didn't feel anything... almost a relief (she was just making a scene and wanted to come back already). I said to her I don't like this thing of ''rElAtIoNsHip/GiRlFrIeNd'' thing because it is totally against my feelings, but she pretends she doesn't understand it and plays it dumb.

Can anyone relate to never had loved someone like this?

 

[MentalFuneral]

I've never loved anyone in that kind of way. I can only love people parasocially, like you said. When anyone actually declares love or affection for me, I feel extremely repulsed and disgusted.

 

[Trav1989]

I have felt romantic love twice in my life, once with a woman I met around 7 years ago and we were together for a couple years and a second time when I met my ex-wife and through the first 4.5 out of 6 years of our marriage. Other than that I've had flings and have dated but I wouldn't call that love. All in all I did pretty well with relationships but people change and their desires change with them. Some wish to return to the freedom of their youth, others wish for a more extravagant lifestyle.

Meanwhile I've always been content with just towing the line and being financially stable. Now that I'm no longer financially, mentally, or emotionally stable after the past year or-so hit me like a ton of bricks I don't feel as though I'm a good fit for this existence. It's as if the world moved on around me and left me behind and I'm just a relic of the past and shadow of my former self.

Have about a month to go to CTB (if I can wait that long) but time has been moving at a snails pace in all honesty. My affairs are mostly in order but the waiting is what gets to me. I'll just be glad once I no longer have to deal with the human condition and can finally be truly free.

Love is the best feeling one can experience when it's genuine but once that love decays and the kisses, hugs, dates, cuddles, lovemaking, love notes, etc slowly dissipate and the one you saw yourself growing old with is nothing but a roommate at best and a monster to you at worst the pain in regards to loss that you feel is so devastating that you'll wish you had never loved and allowed yourself to be vulnerable to begin with.

 

[lnlybnny]

I've never loved anyone in that kind of way. I can only love people parasocially, like you said. When anyone actually declares love or affection for me, I feel extremely repulsed and disgusted.

I wish I could understand why we feel that way. It's so ironic because I'm literally hyperfocused on parasocial love to the point of being obsessive, I'd give my life for them, but don't feel anything towards every day life people

 

[Sat]

I think mine is a different case, I want to love yet all I do is, make things bad for me and the person I fall in love with. I do not know how to love.

 

[kyhoti]

I can't relate to love. I've rarely felt affection for long and don't understand it. I care about people and other things, but love? But I'm probably a psycho, so, yeah.

 

[pyx]

in highschool, yeah. but i don't believe in love anymore. only compatibility, which is contractual. i am a realist who was forced to discard the idea long ago.

 

[Flameboyant]

I'm aroace, so yea I never been in love nor felt heartbreak and honestly I'm happy about that.

 

[lnlybnny]

in highschool, yeah. but i don't believe in love anymore. only compatibility, which is contractual. i am a realist who was forced to discard the idea long ago.

The only thing I think I felt that was closer to that kind of feeling towards someone from ''real life'' is something I felt for a girlfriend I had online, we never met in person and I was 12 lol

I can't relate to love. I've rarely felt affection for long and don't understand it. I care about people and other things, but love? But I'm probably a psycho, so, yeah.

Sometimes I feel there's something ''wrong'' with me

 

[depressia]

не любил...не люблю...не полюблю..никого

 

[Forever Sleep]

I've probably been more the other way. Had limerence for people without it being reciprocated and convinced myself I was in love with them. I never expressed it to them though. I wouldn't have coped with the inevitable rejection very well. Now, I'm more careful not to fall for real life people.

 

[Moniker]

No, I don't think I'm capable of loving people. I've had moments where I can imagine truly caring for someone and enjoying being showered in love, but I think that's just fantasy. I'd like to care for someone, but I can't.

People showing affection for me elicits extreme disgust. It feels both hollow and absurd. Not that I doubt their intentions, but I just can't understand that feeling.

 

[AllAlone]

I have never had any close relationship with anyone in my life. So for that reason I have never loved anyone. However, I feel like I am capable of loving someone, but nobody Is capable of loving me.

 

[Reticent Being]

I think a lot of people want someone to have their emotional/physical/financial/ect. needs met without being in love with them. Which is why i make a bad partner because im broke, repulsed by sex and overly emotional. i fail to understand romantic love. I think it means the desire to want someone in your life for a long time and you want them to share your life with you.

many people fall for someone's personality or their physique and smile and say they are in love. To me, it doesnt make logical sense because people will come and go. No one stays the same after even a month or a year. romantic dates seem like a waste of money to me. When i feel "love" for someone it's more just an escape from loneliness for me. Like i want to hear about their day and have them hear about mine. Beyond that, i dont care for anything else. Not even a kiss or a candle lit dinner or whatever.

I dont know if I'm in love or just want someone to prove that I'm worthy of having friends. I feel like i gotta be aromantic and have squishes not crushes. Parasocial love comes easy for me as well.

Word to chatbot: Parasocial love can be easier for some people than romantic relationships because it often feels safer and less complicated. With parasocial relationships, there's no pressure for mutual feelings, and individuals can enjoy a one-sided connection without the risks of rejection or vulnerability. This dynamic can provide emotional comfort without the complexities of real-life interactions, making it appealing for those who may struggle with traditional romantic relationships.

 

[sevennn]

i love my character, tom. i hope we can be together in heaven. i wouldn't want anyone else. maladaptive daydreaming only joy in life. better than life

 

[divinemistress36]

Ive confused lust with love as many people do I think most people just lust over each other

 

[coolgal82]

I dont think i've ever liked someone romantically but tbh i kinda like block myself out from doing it i think because i don't feel like i deserve to be close with anyone. i've never really had truly close friends until now and like before that i was like "theyre cool i guess" and like i kinda wanted to be closer but also didnt feel like i deserved to so i made no effort to and just kept my feelings at "theyre chill", then a recent incident forced them closer to me and its changed from that to "i would die if they left me they are everything to me they are my reason to live my entire life is based around them" but like in a platonic way and idk. i could like someone romantically if they liked me first and like insisted on getting into a relationship maybe then maybe i'd like unlock it. i really want a relationship so fucking badly i feel like nothing without anyone and like my besties fill the void for now but like idk if they can fill it enough if the void gets bigger or something idk i already still wish i was closer to them even when i cant be and it hurts

also idk if it's possible to like find the right person idk. i need like an anime/movie scenario where someone just finds me and fixes me lmao