Venting do you also cry?

[dopaminenthusiast]

do you also cry when you think about dying? because i do
i understood I don't wanna die, I'm just hopeless, i think i was born hopeless.
I always had a weird idea of death, never was afraid of it. and I'm not but i just found out i actually like living, i like the little things the world has to offer. it makes me stupidly happy seeing the rain. i think i just hate the life i was born in. everything it's just so miserable everyday to the point I'm not living anymore but more like surviving. do you also got used to be in pain to the point you can act like it's not there? but it never really leaves. I don't think i want to but i have to end me because I can't stand it anymore

 

[tommyy]

I cry because it is not the life I wanted and I did not have the opportunity to enjoy it. I know that I want to die and I need to, but I cry because of the years of struggle and sacrifice that I could not enjoy. I cry because in the best moment of my life after so much effort to achieve it. things diagnose me with a terminal illness that's why I cry After so many years of working to get my things and start enjoying life, when I said, the time has come to enjoy myself a little, they diagnosed me with that, that's why I cry.
I have not done anything wrong in life throughout my life I have been a good person and I help others I do not know what divine justice there is but I do not deserve that I have so much pain from it that if there is something else beyond that I will ask why you did that to me that's why I cry...
My advice before dying is when you can, enjoy life at any time you can change things but when it comes to an illness money or luxuries are of no use. I swear if I weren't sick I would fight every day to find a purpose in life and achieve my goals but unfortunately that happened to me and I still wonder why, my God, I don't deserve that, so many bad people in the world live well and nothing happens to them and I, who have been good and hardworking and help, don't do bad things, that happened to me. in my best moment

 

[ThatGuyOverThere]

When I was younger I used to cry at pretty much every little inconvenience, though that's mostly due to the fact that I have sensory issues as a result of my ASD. Where as now I Haven't cried in years, as I've spent most my Latter life isolated away from that world, the world I can't even bare to exist in. Though I guess I still have the mentality to cry if I am given a reason.

 

[sugarb]

do you also cry when you think about dying? because i do
i understood I don't wanna die, I'm just hopeless, i think i was born hopeless.
I always had a weird idea of death, never was afraid of it. and I'm not but i just found out i actually like living, i like the little things the world has to offer. it makes me stupidly happy seeing the rain. i think i just hate the life i was born in. everything it's just so miserable everyday to the point I'm not living anymore but more like surviving. do you also got used to be in pain to the point you can act like it's not there? but it never really leaves. I don't think i want to but i have to end me because I can't stand it anymore

Not really about dying but when I'm less disassociated I'll cry at the thought of my family being sad when I die. I've done it maybe five times in the last four months, usually past midnight. then right after I'll be over it

 

[MisterOGBongWater]

Am right now. Helps me sleep. I don't wanna have to kill myself

 

[emptyenvelopes]

I can relate. Most of the time I disassociate when thinking about death. But every once in a while I come back to myself and get so scared about aging and getting closer to my own death. I worry about running out of time to meet long term goals. But mostly I get so scared of being all alone when I die and not knowing where I'll go.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

All the time. Just about every day.

 

[Iris Blue]

I'm not sure what is going on with me to be completely honest, for the past year or so my emotions have been on and off for a certain amount of months but I have no clue why. For a few months I'd cry uncontrollably about everything everyday. Then for another few months I'd never be able to cry even if I feel like I need to. Almost like I'm a robot where I feel like I should be sad or cry about something but I can't or I can't process the feeling of sadness. I had ketamine treatment a few months before this rollercoaster started I'm not sure if that is the reason my emotions seem to be limited and all weird but I feel like it could be a possibility. I absolutely hate it though.

 

[kyhoti]

I didn't cry at all in my 30's, then broke down a few times in my 40's, usually when I was wasted & getting ready to eat my Glock. Now that I'm at the end, I cry all the fucking time.

 

[dopaminenthusiast]

I cry because it is not the life I wanted and I did not have the opportunity to enjoy it. I know that I want to die and I need to, but I cry because of the years of struggle and sacrifice that I could not enjoy. I cry because in the best moment of my life after so much effort to achieve it. things diagnose me with a terminal illness that's why I cry After so many years of working to get my things and start enjoying life, when I said, the time has come to enjoy myself a little, they diagnosed me with that, that's why I cry.
I have not done anything wrong in life throughout my life I have been a good person and I help others I do not know what divine justice there is but I do not deserve that I have so much pain from it that if there is something else beyond that I will ask why you did that to me that's why I cry...
My advice before dying is when you can, enjoy life at any time you can change things but when it comes to an illness money or luxuries are of no use. I swear if I weren't sick I would fight every day to find a purpose in life and achieve my goals but unfortunately that happened to me and I still wonder why, my God, I don't deserve that, so many bad people in the world live well and nothing happens to them and I, who have been good and hardworking and help, don't do bad things, that happened to me. in my best moment

your story is the best example of why life it's so unfair. i wish you nothing but peace and a painless journey