LifeSucks39
Student
- Feb 14, 2020
- 182
almost_dead
Arcanist
- Aug 7, 2020
- 465
If We look clearly , we ourself dont want them to go away . We cling to them .
Squiddy
Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
- Sep 4, 2019
- 5,903
LifeSucks39
Student
- Feb 14, 2020
- 182
Squiddy
Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
- Sep 4, 2019
- 5,903
LifeSucks39
Student
- Feb 14, 2020
- 182
I lost my high paying job my fiancé left me because I have depression
Squiddy
Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
- Sep 4, 2019
- 5,903
That's awful :( I'm sorry to hear.
Reason I want to ctb are because of my mental health issues, my inability to articulate myself verbally sometimes, my short term memory issues, and my inability to process what people are saying to me sometimes
Mine come and go. The core issue of never having wanted to be alive remains, but the active desire to die rises and falls. I'm currently in an emotional remission since I just got Pokemon sword and a real switch, and my ex has been better with me lately. I know this isn't permanent since the suicidal feelings always return, but I try to make the most of the emotional high points.
LifeSucks39
Student
- Feb 14, 2020
- 182
Squiddy
Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
- Sep 4, 2019
- 5,903
LifeSucks39
Student
- Feb 14, 2020
- 182
StarNomad
Member
- Jul 27, 2020
- 11
Nope. Once they start they are with you until the end. Of course in the mean time, especially when you are young, you can put them on the back burner for decades even, plus life has enough distractions and twists and turns you can keep your senses fooled for a while. The pain is always there to catch you off guard. Then the bell rings and you cannot unhear that bell, when that time comes you just want out, that is why I am actively looking for others that wish to meet with this shared pain, because it can keep one going forward for who knows how long. I wish that for you and everyone in whatever form it may come in. Good luck.
I think they can go away if you get the right balance in your life. That is waaaaaay easier said then done, but not impossible.
Nephthys22
Member
- Aug 16, 2020
- 34
I don't think they ever really do, but I also think that it is based a lot on environmental factors. Currently, my job which is high stress is one of my main reasons for my thoughts of CTB. It is that demanding. I also think a good portion of my home life may be to blame as well. That being said, I have had SI thoughts since I was nine and there has been months at a time where they subside, but they eventually come back. During this last bought of depression I am at the closest I have ever been to CTB as I have already purchased supplies. I do think it is somewhat true what people say "people don't want to CTB, they just don't want to live the life they have." I think if I had made some different choice along the way, I may not be so inclined to end it all if I didn't have to live with the consequences of those choices. That being said, I had SI far before I made those choices, so it might be a brain issue. In short, mine subsides for brief time periods, but seems to always return.
It's always there for me unless my life situation improves. This has happened a couple times only for things to come crashing down worse than before.
RealHumanBean
Student
- Aug 8, 2020
- 102
They never go away completely, but they can be quieter at times. It's possible to be "functionally suicidal"
Passersby
Trapped in space and time
- Aug 29, 2019
- 1,628
I think this will vary from person to person depending on there problems and if they are fixable or not. Plus there brain chemistry. I would like to think they could go away for some people but that really just depends on how chronic it is and how long you have been like that. For me anyway right now it's not looking good. It's been a long time years, and what's causing them for me isn't going to get fixed no matter how hard I try. So it's chronic now. I think even if I was magically able to fix my problems then I would still think about leaving but in that case maybe it would be enough to not act on it. But anyway that's not the case.
dysfunctional
Arcanist
- Oct 26, 2018
- 459
muffin222
Enlightened
- Mar 31, 2020
- 1,188
Mine come and go throughout the day. They've been around since I was 11 years old; I doubt they'll vanish completely unless I undergo a massive healing of the core issues that created them
Maybe? I'm not sure. I've just sort of accepted it as my identity now, rather than a state of being. "I'm feeling suicidal," has become "I'm a suicidal person."
rundschlinge78
Member
- Jul 30, 2020
- 46
In the last 20+ years there had not been a day without the thought of suicide. It is my destiny.... at least now I am old enough to justify the step.
First loss
Specialist
- Jan 28, 2019
- 393
I have concluded that mine are mostly dependent on levels of stress and sadness. I go some periods without them but eventually they come back. By now I got used to it, I go on about my day while thoughts of suicide linger in my head.
BitterlyAlive
---
- Apr 8, 2020
- 1,635
In my experience, they ebb and flow in intensity....but mine haven't truly gone away.
Me too. Maybe that's why they've stuck around for so long. Idk
Melchoir
Member
- Jul 9, 2020
- 14
I don't think they ever go away, they just get suppressed when things start looking up and they resurface the moment things get bad. Well, that's the case for me I suppose.
BPD Barbie
Visionary
- Dec 1, 2019
- 2,361
I can't speak for anyone else but mine come and go, I have periods when they are incredibly intense and overwhelming then they subside to a dull sort of ache that lingers in the background. I don't think for me personally they will ever go away. I think suicide is now part of my identity.
wanttodie
Enlightened
- Apr 19, 2018
- 1,801
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