Do people with a realistic view of themselves have lower self-esteem?

[noname223]

I once read people who overestimate their skills and personality live a more happy and content life. It has a positive impact on their mental health to have in this instance a positivity bias. Though this does not necessarily mean we in this forum are per definition more self-aware. I think you can find here a lot of self-loathing in this forum. And sometimes really great people express their self-hatred. This can stem from depression and being too harsh on oneself (because of past abuse)

I often ruminate about my biases. I once met this extremely smart physics professor (I am too obsessed by him I know). I had the feeling he was quite unhappy. I don't know all the details. But if I was as smart and successful as this guy I think I would suck myself off for it on a daily basis. I think it is kind of pathological for me to overestimate the importance of how people perceive me. I can get a lot of comfort when I achieve to create a certain impression in the mind of other people. I think that is part of a bias. Though I have learned to accept my pathologies. I am unable to re-start my brain and start from scratch.
Instead I try to exploit them to feel better. In some cases I mighe deceive myself. It is a difficult consideration. There has to be a balance between the benefits and the costs.

Moreover I have to say trying to be extremely self-aware in every single second leads for me to clusterfucks. It is like my brain makes a break or stutters. Especially in social interactions that is so awkward. I try to analyze social interactions less. Especially while being exposed to them. Otherwise I am awkward as fuck.

I don't have much more to add. I could repeat the main part but this does not make much sense. My best friend has such a healthy relation to himself. He is super self-confident and this helped him a lot in his life. He also had smart parents who taught him that. Why did I have these fucking stupid morons who thought abusing their children was a good idea? I am so fucked beyond repair.

Maybe one thing. I have the feeling my therapists always give me the child abuse bonus when they consider my character and intelligence. It is true I am fucked up because of it. But I am also interested in feedback when people don't give me the bonus and are completely honest instead.

 

[Dead Ghost]

Always. There are many different ways of thinking that suit each particular situation, but when one prevails over the others a strong imbalance occurs that can only make you sick.

I, for example, am a disaster at the same time thinking in a more emotional way (emotions often hurt me), so since childhood I have taken refuge in a more practical way of thinking for me (at the time) but which at the same time he has isolated himself from other people because he is not at all helpful in relating to me.
But this is not the only problem, my way of thinking greatly limits my understanding of things from different points of view or directly sometimes makes it impossible...

These are the things I have asked psychologists throughout my life: "teach me new ways of thinking to better understand my environment and to understand people", "teach me new ways to analyze problems and pose me solutions", "teach me to mature my emotions so that I can better relate to others"... they have never known what I am talking about. And this happens because they are normal and ordinary people who instinctively already use the different ways of thinking without realizing that they have them.

Can you imagine, it's like when I couldn't stand going to the market to buy because while others saw food I saw corpses (if the food isn't in the shape of an animal, nothing happens, but if I have it, I can't eat it). It is quite clear that my way of thinking only generates an absurd suffering for worldly things.

A realistic view of yourself can only sink you into deep depression.

//

Sempre. Hi ha moltes maneres de pensar diferents que s'adapten a cada situació en particular, pero quan una preval sobre les altres es produeix un fort desequilibri que només pot fer que enmalalteixis.

Jo per exemple sóc un desastre alhora de pensar d'una manera més emocional (les emocions sovint em fan mal), així que desde petit m'he refugiat en un pensament més pràctic per mi (en el seu moment) però que alhora m'ha aïllat de les altres persones perquè no és gens útil alhora de relacionar-me.
Però no és aquest l'únic problema, la meva manera de pensar em limita molt la comprenssió de les coses desde diferents punts de vista o directament de vegades ho fa impossible...

Aquestes coses són les que he plantejat al llarg de la meva vida als psicólegs: "ensenyeu-me noves maneres de pensar per comprendre millor el meu entorn i a entendre la gent", "ensenyeu-me noves maneres d'analitzar els problemes i plantejar-me solucions", "ensenyeu-me a madurar les meves emocions per poder relacionar-me millor amb els altres"... mai han sabut de que els hi parlo. I això passa perquè són persones normals i corrents que de forma instintiva ja usen les diferents maneres de pensar sense que se n'adonin que les tenen.

Us imagineu, es com quan jo no soportava anar al mercat a comprar perquè mentres els altres veien menjar jo veia cadàvers (si el menjar no te forma d'animal no passa res, pero com el tingui no me'l puc menjar). Es ben clar que la meva manera de pensar només em genera un patiment absurd per les coses mundanes.

Una visió realista de tu mateix només et pot ensorrar en una forta depressió.