Discussion Do men cry less than women?

[nigelhernandez]

I've always heard this and I think it's true. I don't think there's anything biological that makes men cry less but rather they do so because they're socialized to. My mother for example has cried many times or had tears in her eyes but I've never seen my father like that. It's also no surprise that when I talked about suicide, my father was the one to react with anger and told me to "toughen up".

Do the men hear cry less than the women in their life?

 

[deadpixels]

I cry a lot when I think about my life and what is gone. I often cry when I'm alone, when I'm lost at thoughts. When there's people around me, I rarely cry, not because I try to contain it, but because it simply doesn't happen. I don't know if I'm socially or biologically conditioned to that or if I simply don't go much deep in my thoughts when there are people around me.

 

[TheSoulless]

I used to cry a lot and easily when I was little. Less now, since I'm so emotionless, but I really have to hold it back when I face criticism. Once in a month I cry because of nostalgia. I would say I'm more of a crybaby than your average dude.

 

[noaccount]

I cry less now that I take synthetic progestin which is vaguely androgenic and counteracts some effects of estrogen

 

[BPD Barbie]

I'd agree that they're socialised to cry less but should be encouraged to cry more and be more emotionally open. We no longer live in medieval times.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I never used to. I do these days. After my fall from grace and all the crap that went with it, I appear to be far more emotionally attuned. I'm not sure if this is a good or bad thing, but I guess at least it's a more honest thing.

 

[Despondent]

I'm not a man but I think men are way better at hiding their emotions such as the upset compared to women. That's probably why a lot of people think that they cry less but again I'm not a man lol Most of society forget that men have feelings also and that mental illness doesn't discriminate against them. They don't have to put on a "strong" persona just because they're a dude

 

[puppy9]

I'm not a man but I think men are way better at hiding their emotions such as the upset compared to women. That's probably why a lot of people think that they cry less but again I'm not a man lol Most of society forget that men have feelings also and that mental illness doesn't discriminate against them. They don't have to put on a "strong" persona just because they're a dude

Thanks for understanding us.

 

[mathieu]

Yes, I cry very rarely. I just can't do it.

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

I'll just post my history with crying, ok?

Back when I was about three years old? Five? Just as soon as I developed some basic understanding of what I'm looking at, some kind of basic consciousness, one of the first things I understood from my parents was "big boys don't cry". Big boys, strong boys, just boys in general - boys don't cry.
At the age of about seven I moved along with my parents to this new country where everything is great.
Obviously, everything was not great.
I was greeted with shouts of "smelly/stinky Russian" and bullying. Eventually we arranged into a group of friends who had some things in common: we're all Ukrainian or Russian, and we all have nothing.

If there's one thing kids are good at, it's psychological warfare. If there are two, it's psychological warfare and racism.
The Israeli bullying confirmed two ideas we have developed - big and strong boys don't cry, and Israelis are inferior creatures seeing as they cry over every minuscule thing. We doubled down on not crying, and we got into fights a lot.
We also wanted to confirm that Israelis are inferior academically (this was later legitimately confirmed by incoming older students who immigrated at a later age and we're light years ahead of the Israeli curriculum). I did this by getting myself interested in programming and not crying when things didn't go my way or when I didn't understand things.
Others soon joined.

At later age I came to the conclusion that crying is not entirely unacceptable, it's being caught crying that is the "sin". I've found myself a sort of "crying cave" - a place I went to during my "first school" (grades 1-6) to cry every so often. It was a normal building near the school, it's just that nobody from my school knew I went there.The problems arose when I moved schools for grades 7-12, and logistically, the use for the "crying cave" faded away. By the time I would get there, the need faded away.

I'd like to pause for a second and ask you to picture it from a different perspective - you walk by a building and vaguely hear a crying child inside. Either there's child abuse going on, or it's a child fucking ghost. Either way, you don't want to be near either.

Roughly at third grade we got a tv, and this idea of when men cry in movies, that means shit has hit the fan.
If a girl cries, it means her crush didn't want to take her to prom, but all she needs is a haircut and a glittery dress, and in about 15-20 minutes this guy will do backflips to win her over. If a guy cries, it means his crush has cancer, and he is being tasked with literally digging her grave.
If a guy cries, there's some serious shit incoming. A guy doesn't cry for nothing.
And so, before crying I would spend a few seconds to ponder whether a thing is serious enough to cry over. Those few seconds of me trying to be objective were enough to wipe out the need to cry.

At the end of 12th grade I was drafted into the IDF. No longer am I some kid in school, I am now a soldier. I (hypothetically) kill evil terrorists. At least that's how our commanders described it. Soldiers don't cry.

And so it came to now. After about 25 years since forming consciousness I literally can't cry. I can manage some sobbing, but crying? It just doesn't come out.
It feels a little broken, to be honest. Now with all these articles describing crying as a form of release, which it did feel like, not being able to do that release feels like having been castrated.

 

[WhatIsMyLife]

Men do cry less than women. That's a fact. Why? A few reasons, tear ducts are smaller on women, making it "easier to cry", various hormones may play a part, and of course, societal pressure. Society demands men need to "tough." Which of course, means no crying.

I'm a guy, and I literally can't cry. I try to just let it out, but I can't... But that's mainly due to a severe bout of apathy that I'm going through right now.

 

[rebelsue]

I cry less now that I take synthetic progestin which is vaguely androgenic and counteracts some effects of estrogen

Why do you take synthetic progestin? I am curious. I've always wondered if I could control my emotional problems with taking testosterone or an androgenizing hormone and also lose weight in my giant thighs and have a body that is more prone to building muscle and burning calories. I am a soft squishy incubator and I hate being a woman so much. I want to be more androgenous looking and be less emotional. Testosterone seems dangerous as a woman, that it would cause more problems than it would solve. But maybe progesterone wouldn't be as harmful? I don't know. Just asking.

 

[noaccount]

It gets rid of a lot of the pain I'd had with my menstrual cycle (might be endo but I've never gotten checked) and makes the bleeding a lot lighter. It's the progestin-only BC pill (the "minipill") so it's most-commonly prescribed as a contraceptive. The kind-of hormonal 'leveling' effect alleviates some of my ptsd stuff too I think, and yeah it makes me cry less. Though some people complain it makes them feel depressed or sedated. A few people get increased body-hair from it, but I don't. It gave me some acne when I first started. Oh and it might make your boobs hurt for the first month or two, I think it made mine heavier without making them bigger if that makes sense.

I don't think it really helps with muscle building. Testosterone could be helpful for you! The FTM subreddit has a lot of discussions about people's experiences with that. Someone who lived as a trans man for a while but then went back to living as a woman, who writes as "permutational" on tumblr, wrote some kind of cautionary-tale stuff about her experiences - her main critique being that doctors focused a lot on how her body looked instead of how it actually felt for her to live in it. But a lot of people do benefit from hormonal therapy like that!