Do any of you have a suicide note written? If so are you willing to share yours?

[Neogoloid]

I'm about to write mine, I originally wasn't going to write one but I have some things I'd like to say and get off my chest. It's gonna be a long, lengthy note that could fill the whole page back and front. My day is rapidly approaching and I'm very excited to depart from this life.

I view suicide as the ultimate act of vengeance and self liberty against an uncaring, selfish, greedy and hateful world. Suicide is the best choice when your back is against the wall and you have no other out, nothing else to look forward to, not going anywhere in life.

Life is survival of the fittest, and nature is inherently flawed, every creature, every organism. Not everyone is meant to thrive in this world. Some people fall by the waist side, and when life gives you it's fucking ass to kiss and you're at the bad end of the deal. You get yourself out of it, it is a highly intelligent thing to do.

Never settle for dog shit, I won't. And you shouldn't either.

 

[Despondent_Fondant]

In your note are you going to talk about your philosophical ideas on suicide? Are you going to mention people directly? Personally my note covers how I see every notable person in my life, from my perspective. I go in detail about how who they are, has affected me, and I give some people advice on how they could change or grow. I also make it clear that there was nothing anyone could do.

 

[IHurtTheOneILove]

I'm about to write mine, I originally wasn't going to write one but I have some things I'd like to say and get off my chest. It's gonna be a long, lengthy note that could fill the whole page back and front. My day is rapidly approaching and I'm very excited to depart from this life.

I view suicide as the ultimate act of vengeance and self liberty against an uncaring, selfish, greedy and hateful world. Suicide is the best choice when your back is against the wall and you have no other out, nothing else to look forward to, not going anywhere in life.

Life is survival of the fittest, and nature is inherently flawed, every creature, every organism. Not everyone is meant to thrive in this world. Some people fall by the waist side, and when life gives you it's fucking ass to kiss and you're at the bad end of the deal. You get yourself out of it, it is a highly intelligent thing to do.

Never settle for dog shit, I won't. And you shouldn't either.

I have it hidden away in the drawer but it's essentially me apologizing for being a coward and weak and saying I love a lot of ppl with a list of their names. I dont imagine wanting to leave people torn over my death. Def a controversial take for this forum but if I'm leaving it's pure cowardice.

 

[Neogoloid]

In your note are you going to talk about your philosophical ideas on suicide? Are you going to mention people directly? Personally my note covers how I see every notable person in my life, from my perspective. I go in detail about how who they are, has affected me, and I give some people advice on how they could change or grow. I also make it clear that there was nothing anyone could do.

I may briefly discuss my ideals about suicide, but I'll mostly just keep it emotional. They aren't going to agree with my ideals about suicide so I'm just gonna go over my feelings leading up to my end.

 

[CheekyPhobia]

I don't know, man. I've written multiple, torn up some, refined others. I'd like to leave some clarity for the people that have to deal with my death but I really don't know if I can be bothered or if it's worth it anymore. Why write an essay? What's the point? And that half an hour I spend writing that note is negligible to me but will be the final words that my parents have from me, the ones they chew over repeatedly every time they think of me. If I do write one, it'll be short I think. Short and vague.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

"Sorry, it's not yor fault.
There's nothing you could have done to help me, so don't even feel one ounce of guilt.
My dying wish is for my body to be disposed of in the most cost-effective way possibe.
I am free. Be happy for me."

 

[conejo triste]

My suicide note has a similar format to yours. It's my thoughts leading up to this point and some of my ideals on suicide.
"With all of this in mind, why are you surprised that I don't love you? Why is anyone surprised that I killed myself? All people ever do in life is take others for granted."
My note is embarrassingly emotional, however I feel it's needed to convey the amount of suffering these people have put me through.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

I have a good amount of knowledge on what people like to hear in suicide notes to mitigate grief. Would you like to know to help with your note writing?

I have a simple idea of mine. I've discarded it because it became outdated, but I will rewrite it later. I will say, "I've planned this for months. I would rather be with [his name] than exist here for longer. All of it is meaningless to me. I've chosen to ignore my filial duties, academic responsibilities, and societal obligations in favor of personal happiness. I am not depressed and I am not manic, I simply chose myself over others for once. We all only have one life, and my life is owned by me solely."

 

[Angel of Spades]

I think I'm planning on writing several which I'll schedule (email) send to the people who mean the most to me. They did nothing wrong, and I believe they deserve the closure that only I can give them. I've written several drafts, and I'm continuing to update them as time passes. When I finally decide to go through with it (I'm just waiting to get my hands on a method at this point), I'll polish up all my drafted letters and schedule them to be sent out.

Most of the letters will follow the same structure, though. "It wasn't your fault, and I don't want you to mourn over me forever. I loved the experiences we had and I don't regret any of it. Thank you for being in my life," and similar sentiments.

I'm just extremely grateful that one of my friends is like me and more than willing to inform some of my other friends on my behalf when I'm gone.

 

[Gonnerr]

"Sorry, it's not yor fault.
There's nothing you could have done to help me, so don't even feel one ounce of guilt.
My dying wish is for my body to be disposed of in the most cost-effective way possibe.
I am free. Be happy for me."

Good one , i might borrow it if you don't mind my friend.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Good one , i might borrow it if you don't mind my friend.

Absolutely. I would be honored.

 

[AInilam]

Not anymore, I had pages written up of all the things I wanted to say to them at the ready last year, now I could care less. At this point it really shouldn't come as a surprise. They'll get back exactly as much thought and care as they've put into me; nothing.

 

[Abyssal]

Mine is a wip. Basically gonna fill out a whole journal, the people around me are the type to read just about everything I could give and wish I had said more? And if I'm being honest there's a lot I want to say. I've got an introduction explaining why I am doing it and how there's nothing that could be done about it. I also have seen how many people come to resent the suicidal as a form of mourning, so I'm writing about my viewpoints and how I don't want anyone to hate the suicidal but also explain that some people can't be saved by words or actions and that the best thing that can be done is to stick to your own moral code based on how much you believe you will regret you actions. Basically, I'll be staying very true to how I am on here. I hope to pass on my love for the people I've met who were suicidal so that maybe we can be treated better in society than we currently are? It's idealistic but given how many hate campaigns for the suicidal have been launched after a death, maybe I support campaign could be created from mine? I don't know.

I also will write personalized letters to specific people of which I intend to keep long, positive, and humorous. I don't want anyone to suffer, I wish for my death to bring them a deeper understanding on what I experienced in a tone that persuades rather than challenges.

This will only occur if I am able to hold onto the willpower not to down my sn the second I get it or whatnot. My last attempts were very impulsive and I prepared no note, I can see the same happening again for my mental state has been bad enough to make me lash out to even people on here. I wonder if a half written explanation why is worse than nothing at all haha.

 

[NeedAnEscape]

I intend to write personal letters to everyone that I am close with. They deserve to have closure over my death and know that I did genuinely care about them.

 

[Ilovedyoulikeadog]

I wasn't going to write one initially, but I have wrote one just in case.

 

[crepho]

i only have plans to send something to an old friend of mine, she's been through so much and has lost quite a few people over the past couple of years and i feel like out of everyone, i need to send her one. i feel guilty about it but she knows what i've been through. i don't think she'd be very surprised :/

 

[smeltingtheiron]

Kind of. With my first attempt I didn't plan a note, at the time the issues I have I felt must be taken to the grave. It wasn't even a spontaneous attempt but one I had planned for three years, so the lack of note was intentional. The only thing I did that constitute as leaving a message after death was updating my twitter with some scheduled illustration tweets and a small e-mail to an artist I liked praising their latest book. Now? I'll schedule a tweet with a specific illustration and schedule an e-mail a week or so out to my family with the words;

"I'm physically, socially, and mentally genetically defective and my body gives me and will continue to give me constant discomfort and pain. I'm sorry, I can't live in this body with this brain, and the experiences I have undergone. It's not you all's fault, never will be you all's fault, and never was you all's fault. I deeply thank you all for everything. [insert brother's name] can have all of my possessions and [insert brother's name] can have my room, the contents of my bank account can go to my parents. Sell all of my [insert specific niche fandom] merchandise in a single lot for $5.00 on Ebay. Please wipe my computer and don't check my internet history or art folder."

Which would answer about everything I feel.

 

[TheLastGreySky]

I'm about to write mine, I originally wasn't going to write one but I have some things I'd like to say and get off my chest. It's gonna be a long, lengthy note that could fill the whole page back and front. My day is rapidly approaching and I'm very excited to depart from this life.

I view suicide as the ultimate act of vengeance and self liberty against an uncaring, selfish, greedy and hateful world. Suicide is the best choice when your back is against the wall and you have no other out, nothing else to look forward to, not going anywhere in life.

Life is survival of the fittest, and nature is inherently flawed, every creature, every organism. Not everyone is meant to thrive in this world. Some people fall by the waist side, and when life gives you it's fucking ass to kiss and you're at the bad end of the deal. You get yourself out of it, it is a highly intelligent thing to do.

Never settle for dog shit, I won't. And you shouldn't either.

I simply love your post bro, lol. TBH I have written individual notes, and honestly, I was going to leave a small note for the paramedics, it's going to be taped to my chest and it's going to just say "...Grr Mondays" even if it's not on a monday. I want to do this for two reasons, one I think it's funny af, and two... there is simply no way to encapsulate a life time of pain in one note EVEN if it's front to back. I mean I could start out with I was in the hospital for the first five years of my life, and I was raped by a doctor in that time. And then when I got home I had a feeding tube in my stomach and I was hooked to a machine for 90% of the day until I was 9, and then I got it ripped out of me and I was forced to walk around with a hole in my stomach that hurt not stop and stung, and it was ONLY covered with a piece of gauze, or you know...
"Grr... mondays."
I'd rather leave the world with a little more laughter even if it's just for a second than contribute any more pain.
I mean I THINK it would be fun to make it look like a serial killer murdered me, imagine a serial killer that doesn't exist and all the time and resources wasted on a red herring.

 

[Phantomygg]

I doubt anyone I know would care even if i wrote a note, so I probably won't write one

 

[this_is_it]

i need to rewrite mine. i was basically thanking all the people i valued in my life and assuring them it wasn't their fault. most of those people are contributing factors as to why i want to ctb now.

 

[doomedtolive]

i've had it in my notes app for a bit, going back and revising it. it doesn't have to be perfect, but i want to convey everything i really want in that letter; and i have a mini will at the end since i don't own much. i'll share what i have so far with some parts cut out
it's a bit sappy n vague even though i wasn't treated right i don't wish for anyone to feel like they could've saved me (even if they actually could've helped)

dear mom, or whoever reads this
I'm really sorry, for all of this.

I wasn't meant to be alive, or at least, I wasn't meant to be here for long. I am suffering, i have been suffering my whole life. these forces were out of my control. out of most people's control. I've just always been sad, I was born with this depression. it had to take me eventually. I'm really sorry, there probably wasn't much to prevent this.

Im really grateful for the childhood I got to have, it really is the best part of life. I'm just not supposed to be older than I am now. It's dumb, you all are very strong for becoming older than me.

I loved you all. even if you didn't accept me, or didn't know how to show your love back, it's ok. I suppose I'm too forgiving? just please know I am a boy, but I can't stop you from remembering me as your sister. (yeah i'm trans)
death is small, everyone dies. I'm not special, but I hope I was special to one of you when I was alive. I hope to be with you in some way after this.

GAH it's so cringe i'm still working on it. need to make it less sad