I'll try to keep this as short as possible.
My family (parents, brothers, etc.) have always been abusive to me. My mother fueled most of their hatred towards me through manipulation and I got tired of the toxic mind games so I cut them off. Even though my mother was abusive, I still had severe separation anxiety due to her sheltering me from the outside world for years. I get awful anxiety when alone and suffer from OCD, DP/DR, depression, etc. I have no license due to anxiety and currently live with my SO who is physically abusive sometimes.
I have no way of escaping entirely and every time we drive through my mother's town, it gives me extreme anxiety.
We are poor and cannot move to a different state, but I feel it would be the only way to escape my problems. I have PTSD from sexual abuse by my brother and the incestuous relationship between my younger brother and mother. She gives me the creeps and chills. She allowed her 50 year old "friend" to RAPE me multiple times as a child as well. My father hates me because she tells him to despite knowing what she does. I need to move far away ASAP to avoid the awful anxiety I get living so close to her. I fear everyday she will come over here. She scares me.
But again, I cannot. So I've decided suicide is the best option for me.
My question to you is, given my current situation, lack of funds, lack of insurance, no family or friends and an abusive SO, do you believe suicide is the right option for me? I really don't want to exist anymore and I cannot think of any other way out.
My family (parents, brothers, etc.) have always been abusive to me. My mother fueled most of their hatred towards me through manipulation and I got tired of the toxic mind games so I cut them off. Even though my mother was abusive, I still had severe separation anxiety due to her sheltering me from the outside world for years. I get awful anxiety when alone and suffer from OCD, DP/DR, depression, etc. I have no license due to anxiety and currently live with my SO who is physically abusive sometimes.
I have no way of escaping entirely and every time we drive through my mother's town, it gives me extreme anxiety.
We are poor and cannot move to a different state, but I feel it would be the only way to escape my problems. I have PTSD from sexual abuse by my brother and the incestuous relationship between my younger brother and mother. She gives me the creeps and chills. She allowed her 50 year old "friend" to RAPE me multiple times as a child as well. My father hates me because she tells him to despite knowing what she does. I need to move far away ASAP to avoid the awful anxiety I get living so close to her. I fear everyday she will come over here. She scares me.
But again, I cannot. So I've decided suicide is the best option for me.
My question to you is, given my current situation, lack of funds, lack of insurance, no family or friends and an abusive SO, do you believe suicide is the right option for me? I really don't want to exist anymore and I cannot think of any other way out.
