Disliked all my life

[nextstepdeath]

This one makes more sense. Some people are born to be disliked. I am one of them. I accept it. Some people are a lot worse than me, unimaginable behaviour. But I am more disliked, I am born to be disliked. I can't stop the flood of overwhelming dislike and the way my life has gone wrong from it. I can't get my life right. All I can do is break.

 

[nextstepdeath]

Zoning our on the meds, getting more focused on killing myself. It's all going somewhere I guess.

 

[justpathetic]

This one makes more sense. Some people are born to be disliked. I am one of them. I accept it. Some people are a lot worse than me, unimaginable behaviour. But I am more disliked, I am born to be disliked. I can't stop the flood of overwhelming dislike and the way my life has gone wrong from it. I can't get my life right. All I can do is break.

I'm sorry you feel like this.

 

[Neowise]

Some people are born to be disliked. I am one of them. I accept it.

I have had the same exact thought process. Some people are destined to be losers, to be always below average. I suck at anything I do and even though it hurts sometimes I know this is my role in life. My purpose is to be here so that others feel better about themselves.

 

[Davey40210]

Same here. I'm not a loser in life by various standards. But people don't like me from the outset. I blame myself and its probably because I am autistic.

 

[nextstepdeath]

Thanks guys. I am still zoning out. It's feeling easier to drift away, I accept I have failed. I was never very present, didn't have much presence in the environment I grew up through. I made a lot of noise until I was knocked, gradually got weaker and weaker while embarrassing myself more and more. Now I am reduced, bed bound, cut down, shaking, chronically thinking about killing myself, clinically depressed, health problems, permanently isolated and not wanting to leave the house, too wrecked and shattered to go outside, hoping to build myself up to an attempt. I think the new meds are helping reach that point but I know it's going to take some work to make it happen, all I care about is my death. I don't want to live, life is too painful, stacked in favour of pain, too much has shut down and my possibility of my potential has gone for good. All I can see is suffering in life for very little. Seems that death, killing myself is more worthwhile.