Discussion Dishonest positvity

[ferret-in-a-sock]

I liked this interview from NYT's morning newsletter about this poet lauterate's opinion on positivity. (Dunno if I can cite real name). A quote from it:

"It feels dismissive or unrealistic to tell people who are suffering, "Hey, you just got to be happy," because it's like, well, are you going to put me somewhere that makes me happy? Are you going to give me something that makes me happy?...When you flatten everything into "be happy," it's like, what does that mean? It means a different thing for you than it does for me, and can you ever get there? For most people, the answer is no. The dishonesty behind positivity grates on my nerves."

 

[FuneralCry]

I personally cannot stand toxic positivity, it just invalidates the suffering experienced in this world.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Good quote. Thanks for posting it. I loved Stephen Fry's explanation too- like it's no good telling someone it isn't raining when it is. It's so codescending isn't it- 'You shouldn't be upset about this.' Yeah well- I am!! Don't get me wrong- I don't think it's impossible to SOMETIMES reframe your thinking about something. I'm sure it's entirely possible to be feeling especially low and interpret everything negatively. Still- these are still our genuine feelings here! It's shitty to just trample all over them. Fine if people WANT help or- want to try and change their perspective but- that has to be up to them. Being dismissive just makes us feel worse though.