Venting Disabled SaSu Members in Need

[HD72]

So many members suffer from severe pain and /or mental illness. Whatever the cause, and in my case reckless doctors have damaged me beyond repair in the name of "healing" me, many of us have difficulties in comprehension and/or reading and following directions. What are wonderfully written out steps done by people out of deep kindness to help others who wish to CTB, become carrots dangling in front of people who need to leave so badly but who have difficulty with following certain directions. When asking others for help, usually you are met with more complicated instructions or quickly posted "im sorries." It makes me feel I'm back out in the world I so want to escape. If my brain worked as it used to, I'd take my time to explain as best I could to as many I could before I go how to perform a method if I had the knowledge. I would not show off, I would not tease or make funny remarks. I would assume the person asking questions doesn't speak fluent English or is perhaps unable to understand the directions due to a disability of some kind. I would be patient. Even if I had the energy to do this for just one person I would do it. I get a clip of help here a clip there. And I get so many messages from people literally begging for help to understand the gas method or the DW. Things I could have understood a mere few years ago and it breaks my heart I can't help. I can't help myself. I see a method that could give me peace and reading about it is like reading Latin. A language I once could translate fluently. I know we all have pain and our focus is to go. But please if you have the time and wish to do service, consider mentoring someone who needs help understanding a method. I noticed there are a few who did this before leaving and they are held in high regard. I cannot help short of directing people where to find information so I try to be a support system and check on those who are as in pain as I am. I just want someone to know they are not forgotten. I know people say, "I will not help someone die." I guess in my opinion I'd rather the person understand a method rather than end up damaged beyond what they already were. I'm sure I'll end up with lots of hateful comments. Understand I'm just someone who has lost something I used to value greatly. My ability to understand. I'm tired. So tired. I'm sorry if perhaps I haven't expressed myself in the exact way I'd like to. Yet another product of doctor abuse. I apologize if I have offended anyone.

 

[Rhizomorph1]

Be easy on yourself if you can. You deserve it <3

If anyone on this forums needs mentorship I'm happy to help. I'm fairly familiar with pharmacology and drug poisonings but can also give people person-centered information on other methods too. Happy to help however I can!

Accessibility and representation, especially for people living with disabilities is important.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I feel terrible for your situation and I can understand your deep frustration. Having said that, I wonder just how many of us feel experts enough to advise other members. I'd also obviously point out that assisting a suicide is illegal in many parts of the world. I think giving step by step instructions to someone could be construed as that. Especially someone who has difficulties in understanding. Not that I'm saying this but I imagine society would see that person as particularly vulnerable which they sometimes link with impressionable. I can just picture what grieving families and lawyers would do with a 'vulnerable' person with learning difficulties being coaxed on how to kill themselves by some stranger on the internet.

I know that's cowardly of me to say. And hypocritical- seeing as I think myself and so many members are grateful to someone like Stan and Vizzy for collating and explaining the SN method.

Put it this way though. I've done minimal research here into the SN method. All of what I do know has come from here. But- say I took you through it in bite sized chunks- it would be my interpretation of unverified information on this forum. What if I advised you wrong? You could just as well injure yourself because you relied on the misinterpretation by a random stranger on the internet than if you had misinterpreted it yourself. In asking someone to guide you, you're assuming they know all the facts themselves. They may not.

I do feel so awful for your situation but honestly, I think this sort of thing would put both of you at risk. Of course- ideally- we wouldn't have to go through all this if assisted suicide was legalised and regulated. Your situation sounds criminal though. Medical negligence is terrifying. I'm so sorry.

I'd also add that- while I'm not the brightest, I don't suffer with any difficulties I know of- and I still find the inert gas method prety daunting. I think it's because each country sells different equipment and it is scary if you've never ordered stuff like that before. I know @GasMonkey made quite a few threads about the inert gas method. Have you come across them?

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, it's so horrible how suicide is so unnecessarily difficult, it's hellish how there isn't a straightforward way for suffering people to cease existing on their own terms. I hate how assisted suicide isn't legalised with people expected to continue suffering no matter what even if they are being tortured so extremely. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

Have you considered the charcoal method ?
It's far cheaper and easier to set up than gas.
I don't know of your specific disability but if you were able to consider charcoal then it is a reliable method if you can seal off any gaps etc where the carbon monoxide could escape.

 

[HD72]

Be easy on yourself if you can. You deserve it <3

If anyone on this forums needs mentorship I'm happy to help. I'm fairly familiar with pharmacology and drug poisonings but can also give people person-centered information on other methods too. Happy to help however I can!

Accessibility and representation, especially for people living with disabilities is important.

Thank you so so much

I feel terrible for your situation and I can understand your deep frustration. Having said that, I wonder just how many of us feel experts enough to advise other members. I'd also obviously point out that assisting a suicide is illegal in many parts of the world. I think giving step by step instructions to someone could be construed as that. Especially someone who has difficulties in understanding. Not that I'm saying this but I imagine society would see that person as particularly vulnerable which they sometimes link with impressionable. I can just picture what grieving families and lawyers would do with a 'vulnerable' person with learning difficulties being coaxed on how to kill themselves by some stranger on the internet.

I know that's cowardly of me to say. And hypocritical- seeing as I think myself and so many members are grateful to someone like Stan and Vizzy for collating and explaining the SN method.

Put it this way though. I've done minimal research here into the SN method. All of what I do know has come from here. But- say I took you through it in bite sized chunks- it would be my interpretation of unverified information on this forum. What if I advised you wrong? You could just as well injure yourself because you relied on the misinterpretation by a random stranger on the internet than if you had misinterpreted it yourself. In asking someone to guide you, you're assuming they know all the facts themselves. They may not.

I do feel so awful for your situation but honestly, I think this sort of thing would put both of you at risk. Of course- ideally- we wouldn't have to go through all this if assisted suicide was legalised and regulated. Your situation sounds criminal though. Medical negligence is terrifying. I'm so sorry.

I'd also add that- while I'm not the brightest, I don't suffer with any difficulties I know of- and I still find the inert gas method prety daunting. I think it's because each country sells different equipment and it is scary if you've never ordered stuff like that before. I know @GasMonkey made quite a few threads about the inert gas method. Have you come across them?

Yes. I cannot understand them. They are what I am talking about. I asked for help only to be met with more complicated info and people giving even more complicated info then just referring me to his stuff. It was useless. I feel lost.

I understand, it's so horrible how suicide is so unnecessarily difficult, it's hellish how there isn't a straightforward way for suffering people to cease existing on their own terms. I hate how assisted suicide isn't legalised with people expected to continue suffering no matter what even if they are being tortured so extremely. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.

Thank you. You always say kind things to people. I appreciate it.

Have you considered the charcoal method ?
It's far cheaper and easier to set up than gas.
I don't know of your specific disability but if you were able to consider charcoal then it is a reliable method if you can seal off any gaps etc where the carbon monoxide could escape.

Yes. I am trying to figure out how to calculate how much I need and measuring the room and things like that are what get me confused. Math is the thing I really have issue with.

 

[BlazingBob]

This really resonated with me. Since getting sick I've suffered tremendous cognitive decline. Between extreme sleep deprivation and drug side effects I can barely tie my shoes. I'm tired of being tortured by this malfunctioning meat suit and will do whatever it takes to finally ditch it when the time comes, which is as soon as the last of my dogs go.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Yes. I am trying to figure out how to calculate how much I need and measuring the room and things like that are what get me confused. Math is the thing I really have issue with.

I can help you with the calculations according to one of the guides here. Only you would have to provide the room size.

length - width - height in meter

 

[HD72]

This really resonated with me. Since getting sick I've suffered tremendous cognitive decline. Between extreme sleep deprivation and drug side effects I can barely tie my shoes. I'm tired of being tortured by this malfunctioning meat suit and will do whatever it takes to finally ditch it when the time comes, which is as soon as the last of my dogs go.

I'll be sure to follow u. Reach out any time

I can help you with the calculations according to one of the guides here. Only you would have to provide the room size.

length - width - height in meter

Ok thank u. That helps a lot

 

[HD72]

This really resonated with me. Since getting sick I've suffered tremendous cognitive decline. Between extreme sleep deprivation and drug side effects I can barely tie my shoes. I'm tired of being tortured by this malfunctioning meat suit and will do whatever it takes to finally ditch it when the time comes, which is as soon as the last of my dogs go.

No truer words have been spoken.the meds have damaged me more than the illness. I am so sorry u suffer. Truly I am.

 

[HD72]

It's clear that you're expressing a deep sense of frustration and despair, and it's important to acknowledge the immense challenges that come with managing severe pain and mental health issues. The sense of isolation and the difficulty in comprehending information can be incredibly disheartening, especially when you're seeking support and assistance.

I want to emphasize that while I understand your pain and the difficulties you've expressed, it's critical to seek out compassionate, professional help. There are health professionals who specialize in pain management and mental health who may offer you the support and understanding you need. Additionally, there are support groups and services that can provide help in a manner that's respectful of your current abilities and comprehension.

Feeling unheard and unseen in your struggle is a heavy burden, and no one should have to face that alone. It's important to remember that your life has value, and there are people who genuinely want to help and can provide the support that respects your dignity and worth. I urge you to reach out to a healthcare provider, a trusted friend, or a helpline where you can talk openly about what you're going through and find the assistance that you deserve.

Your experiences and feelings are important, and you deserve to be treated with patience, understanding, and care. If you are in immediate distress or are considering harming yourself, please contact emergency services or a crisis hotline immediately—they are there to help you through this tough time.

This is not an appropriate comment in this area. You can take it to the recovery page. If this person had support they wouldn't be here I can guarantee you. And all the support in the world can't help chronic pain.

Be easy on yourself if you can. You deserve it <3

If anyone on this forums needs mentorship I'm happy to help. I'm fairly familiar with pharmacology and drug poisonings but can also give people person-centered information on other methods too. Happy to help however I can!

Accessibility and representation, especially for people living with disabilities is important.

Every time I read this I feel relief

 

[Scattered-Soul]

This is something I've been thinking about a lot the past few days, especially since my cognitive skills have been deteriorating rapidly (I got severe brain damage from an SSRI/antidepressants, it caused toxic encephalopathy and a progressive neurocognitive disorder, in simple terms - something like dementia) so thank you for making this post. It's so bad for me that I can't even write a post like the one you did, typing this right now is extremely difficult, it takes me a very long time, lots of pacing around my room and sleep deprivation (it gives me a slight boost of energy and makes it a bit easier to think) in order to write simple sentences. My condition has gotten so much worse since I've joined the forum that I've been panicking, feeling like I have to secure my materials as soon as possible because otherwise I might end up not being able to even access this website, and I can only rely on myself when it comes to CTB.

The method I've chosen is SN since even hanging's become too complicated for me, I can't even tie a simple noose. I had to read through those super long guides and just write the instructions step by step in a notebook in the simplest terms possible, only the stuff I'd need. It's very hard for me to search for sources on my own but sadly I've no one to turn to and ask so once again, have to do it on my own. I'm so worried, I'm pushing myself to my limits to achieve this. Trying to comprehend a lot of the threads in here has become nearly impossible and all I can think is "man, what's left for those of us who are in desperate need of CTB but are too disabled/struggling cognitively to use the info provided here". I also feel so self-conscious when I try to ask for help with making things simple or giving me straightforward information.

All in all, I'm just trying to say that I agree with everything you've said, thank you from the bottom of my heart for making this thread. I would've also done my best to help people in need like us if I could. I don't know your exact situation and what you've been through but I also feel like I've been damaged by doctors beyond repair.

This is not an appropriate comment in this area. You can take it to the recovery page. If this person had support they wouldn't be here I can guarantee you. And all the support in the world can't help chronic pain.

Yeah, I don't get what's going on with that person, I saw another comment of theirs in a thread where someone was just happy they received their SN. If I were told to "just speak to the professionals" (aka the people who literally did this to me) and so on one more time, that'd just push me towards suicide even more.

 

[HD72]

This is something I've been thinking about a lot the past few days, especially since my cognitive skills have been deteriorating rapidly (I got severe brain damage from an SSRI/antidepressants, it caused toxic encephalopathy and a progressive neurocognitive disorder, in simple terms - something like dementia) so thank you for making this post. It's so bad for me that I can't even write a post like the one you did, typing this right now is extremely difficult, it takes me a very long time, lots of pacing around my room and sleep deprivation (it gives me a slight boost of energy and makes it a bit easier to think) in order to write simple sentences. My condition has gotten so much worse since I've joined the forum that I've been panicking, feeling like I have to secure my materials as soon as possible because otherwise I might end up not being able to even access this website, and I can only rely on myself when it comes to CTB.

The method I've chosen is SN since even hanging's become too complicated for me, I can't even tie a simple noose. I had to read through those super long guides and just write the instructions step by step in a notebook in the simplest terms possible, only the stuff I'd need. It's very hard for me to search for sources on my own but sadly I've no one to turn to and ask so once again, have to do it on my own. I'm so worried, I'm pushing myself to my limits to achieve this. Trying to comprehend a lot of the threads in here has become nearly impossible and all I can think is "man, what's left for those of us who are in desperate need of CTB but are too disabled/struggling cognitively to use the info provided here". I also feel so self-conscious when I try to ask for help with making things simple or giving me straightforward information.

All in all, I'm just trying to say that I agree with everything you've said, thank you from the bottom of my heart for making this thread. I would've also done my best to help people in need like us if I could. I don't know your exact situation and what you've been through but I also feel like I've been damaged by doctors beyond repair.


Yeah, I don't get what's going on with that person, I saw another comment of theirs in a thread where someone was just happy they received their SN. If I were told to "just speak to the professionals" (aka the people who literally did this to me) and so on one more time, that'd just push me towards suicide even more.

U wrote beautifully. Thank you. I have no one to help me either. I am afraid. I have to go to the hospital cuz my dr won't give me my meds. I'm scared they'll throw me in the psych ward.

I got that person banned. They are a pro lifer or a cop who comes on here to harass people and try to get the site shut down.