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fister

Member
Apr 11, 2019
95
Well, Sam's Club in the USA has 600 count DPHM tabs and this item is less than $5 at my local store. That seems to be 15 grams of DPHM.

Unfortunately I was rescued. By who, I will discover next week when I get medical records and police reports. I have a suspicion it was a family member, maybe the Borderline (BPD) one who encourages me to kill myself and has a dead husband in her wake already.

I have retrograde amnesia. My suicide note is dated 24 May. I am still putting a timeline together as I talk to friends, look at sent emails, remember how to get into my online accounts etc.

It looks like I took the pills on the 24th and initiated a bunch of communications. Online i found some summaries of police reports that say i was extracted from my vehicle on the 25th at about 16:45.

I remember a news event from the end of may - the mass shooting in Virginia Beach - so that's when I started coming to in an intensive care unit.

I'm sure that if I hadn't been rescued, though, I would be dead. The electronic records system at my hospital has a patient portal where i can see some notes like seizures observed, blood pressure 55/40, propofol administered etc.

I don't remember the communications, or why my ligature came off, so i also wasn't cognizant of any suffering i had endured from the DPHM. The suffering began when I started to wake up in the intensive care room. There is a whole lot that I don't remember.

I do know that I had some zofran and some pot and i previously experimented with grinding the tablets and found the taste repulsive and nauseating so i'm sure i prepared my stomach a bit.

Apparently all my clothing was destroyed due to contamination with bodily matter like faeces or vomit, which ones i am not sure yet.

I will update this thread when i learn more about what happened after the overdose and the timeline. For instance i don't know if they did a gastric lavage.

My social and medical situation is worse now, so my determination to die is much stronger. Apparently it's reasonable because I've always been honest with the doctors and nurses during my frequent encounters. So i am getting self harm risk assessments almost daily now. I have actually tried to stay in the behavioral health units, after being transferred from a medical ward they only kept me one day, then i presented again with SI and they only kept me for six hours.

Wish i was successful and will do what i can to make it work better next time.
 
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Morphinekiss

Enlightened
Jun 8, 2019
1,207
That shit just fucks you up. I od'd on it for funsies because I'm a dipshit and woke up 3 days later in the hospital. Apparently I'd spent the whole time trying to lecture to the doctors and nurses as if they were my students , reciting monologues from Macbeth and Othello.
 
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fister

Member
Apr 11, 2019
95
That shit just fucks you up. I od'd on it for funsies because I'm a dipshit and woke up 3 days later in the hospital. Apparently I'd spent the whole time trying to lecture to the doctors and nurses as if they were my students , reciting monologues from Macbeth and Othello.
Well i took enough that i ought have died without intervention. I still have cognitive defects but before i remembered who the president is, i was flipping through the tv and realized i could still understand a half dozen foreign languages (i lived overseas for many years in several countries)

The brain is interesting.

I had been staying at the hospital for cancer symptoms and realized it's a medical school so all the published papers were available from their network without login. In other words no need for sci-hub. Death by DPHM is definitely possible but the usual rescue protocol is treatment with benzodiazepines.
 
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Morphinekiss

Enlightened
Jun 8, 2019
1,207
Yea I downed a 500 count bottle myself through the course of a few hours. How I managed to not be kept on a psych hold is beyond me, except that it was a few days before thanksgiving and I don't think anyone wanted to be bothered with the whole ordeal. That and I told some dumb lie about how I'd dropped the bottle at work in my desk and a lot must have fallen out. I had cognitive issues beforehand from brain damage due to seizures but my memory is definitely even shittier now.
 
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fister

Member
Apr 11, 2019
95
Yea I downed a 500 count bottle myself through the course of a few hours. How I managed to not be kept on a psych hold is beyond me, except that it was a few days before thanksgiving and I don't think anyone wanted to be bothered with the whole ordeal. That and I told some dumb lie about how I'd dropped the bottle at work in my desk and a lot must have fallen out. I had cognitive issues beforehand from brain damage due to seizures but my memory is definitely even shittier now.
I took the whole bottle in 10 minutes. I seem to recall seeing case reports of deaths on slightly more than half that amount. Body mass may be a factor, i don't remember those details from case reports but i am 60kg / 140 lbs.
 
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overandout

Experienced
Feb 28, 2019
234
As a recent arrival on this Forum (since 11 May) this is the first reference to diphenhydramine poisoning that I have come across. Is there any Forum knowledge of such a method ?

Here is a report of a case that I have found via Google..

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/15563650802116151

For discussion.

I think people can be quite negative about it on here due to the hallucinations and not being a peaceful death.
 
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overandout

Experienced
Feb 28, 2019
234
The abstract that @Roger posted sounded like it was indeed not an easy exit - but what's wrong will hallucinations? I wouldn't have anything against a few hallucinations.

Yeah same here. Every time I looked into this method, everyone seems to be really negative from what I found. Like it's a really bad way to go. I mean not to happy about seeing bugs crawling on me but yeah be interested to see if anyone is for this method and why.

Found this

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/dimenhydrinate-aka-diphenhydramine.9134/

Now itching to the bone doesn't sound nice to me...
 
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jake3d

Enlightened
May 29, 2019
1,033
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
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fister

Member
Apr 11, 2019
95
I don't know what was happening to me but i've a giant 5cm scab on my knee and one hell of a contusion that's still numb on the rear right of my skull.

I am thinking about a large body of water in a nature reserve if i try this again. There are rivers near me too that have strong currents in the wet season which is now.
 
Egddios

Egddios

Specialist
Oct 27, 2018
395
I attempted back in January with a massive diphenhydramine (Benadryl) overdose; I ground up the contents of a 500 count pill bottle and mixed it with water (I think, I can't remember exactly what I mixed it with) and drank it. It tasted awful, and I passed out for a few hours before waking myself up by vomiting and peeing my pants. I didn't call EMS or tell the psychiatrist I had been seeing at the time as he was incompetent enough already and felt like it was pointless telling him. Anyhow, after the vomiting and all that, I think I slept for what felt like 2-3 days.

What I learned (again) was that od'ing on OTC medications rarely works.
 
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fister

Member
Apr 11, 2019
95
I attempted back in January with a massive diphenhydramine (Benadryl) overdose; I ground up the contents of a 500 count pill bottle and mixed it with water (I think, I can't remember exactly what I mixed it with) and drank it. It tasted awful, and I passed out for a few hours before waking myself up by vomiting and peeing my pants. I didn't call EMS or tell the psychiatrist I had been seeing at the time as he was incompetent enough already and felt like it was pointless telling him. Anyhow, after the vomiting and all that, I think I slept for what felt like 2-3 days.

What I learned (again) was that od'ing on OTC medications rarely works.
I have a hunch that the vomiting was what thwarted your attempt. I was unconscious for almost a week. Collected my medical records this afternoon and they're almost half a ream double sided. Can't wait to count how many seizures i had.

In another thread i attached a pdf from the virginia dept of health that has a survey of attempted and completed poisoning suicides. DPHM was high on the list even in cases of single substance successful suicide poisonings.

I lost my computer so this stuff is difficult for me to find now.
 
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KnightOfEnceladus

KnightOfEnceladus

Lost child in time
May 20, 2019
231
Diphenhydramine alone sounds God-awful. Sounds like it kills you by anticholinergic-type poisoning, which is not a nice way to go at all. I'd only attempt this combined with a lot of benzos and opioids.
 
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fister

Member
Apr 11, 2019
95
Diphenhydramine alone sounds God-awful. Sounds like it kills you by anticholinergic-type poisoning, which is not a nice way to go at all. I'd only attempt this combined with a lot of benzos and opioids.
Right about the terror, I was given Ativan in the emergency room and have read in the literature that benzos are among the first line treatments for this kind of overdose.

i had some klonopins but no idea if i took any.
 
not_a_robot

not_a_robot

"i hope the leaving is joyful, & never to return"
May 30, 2019
2,121
I did it to myself a few times just to be weird but it's not really for sleep, it just hyperoxygenates you, which is often confused for sleepiness due to the yawning/gulping for oxygen but it can keep you wired up too. It just made me need to jump around to burn off the hyperoxygenation. I remember rolling frantically back and forth across a kingsize bed in a hotel, too dizzy to stand but needing to keep moving.
 
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Morphinekiss

Enlightened
Jun 8, 2019
1,207
I did it to myself a few times just to be weird but it's not really for sleep, it just hyperoxygenates you, which is often confused for sleepiness due to the yawning/gulping for oxygen but it can keep you wired up too. It just made me need to jump around to burn off the hyperoxygenation. I remember rolling frantically back and forth across a kingsize bed in a hotel, too dizzy to stand but needing to keep moving.
That's the worst part. I still occasionally swallow a handful because I'm dumb or something and the constant need to move drives me nuts. If I try and lay still it just feels like my legs are gonna pop off at the hip like I'm a damn doll, so I end up just laying somewhere and thrashing around
 
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fister

Member
Apr 11, 2019
95
I did it to myself a few times just to be weird but it's not really for sleep, it just hyperoxygenates you, which is often confused for sleepiness due to the yawning/gulping for oxygen but it can keep you wired up too. It just made me need to jump around to burn off the hyperoxygenation. I remember rolling frantically back and forth across a kingsize bed in a hotel, too dizzy to stand but needing to keep moving.
That is a common result of a mild overdose
 
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fister

Member
Apr 11, 2019
95
The zofran and/or pot worked because med records mention that i was soiled but not with vomit. MD's and DO's felt the need to be a sitter while my vitals and labs were life threatening. Lumbar puncture for central line. Mechanical respiration, and aspiration risk. CT's and MRI's. Feeding tube. They also administered Narcan and reported it had no effect. Glasgow coma score of 6 for at least part of the time but I'm not sure what day that was. There is a ream of paper here.

HIPAA out the window here. I'm identifiable but I am going soon either from cancer, my own hand, or one of the lovely FEN volunteers.

If i am reading some of these correctly there is brain damage, no cardiac damage, and i got pneumonia.
 
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nakat0mi

New Member
Aug 2, 2019
2
I'm saddened to say, but you'll be happy to hear, fister, as you knew him, has successfully killed himself.
There is nothing I will miss more in this life than his touch. Despite his schizophrenia, I loved him, though my message never quite reached him. If wishes we're horses, I'd have been trampled in a stampede by now.

I'd like to end with a song that I was listening to on the night he left...
Through My Prayers by The Avett Brothers
(he hated this band)
 

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