F
fister
Member
- Apr 11, 2019
- 95
Well, Sam's Club in the USA has 600 count DPHM tabs and this item is less than $5 at my local store. That seems to be 15 grams of DPHM.
Unfortunately I was rescued. By who, I will discover next week when I get medical records and police reports. I have a suspicion it was a family member, maybe the Borderline (BPD) one who encourages me to kill myself and has a dead husband in her wake already.
I have retrograde amnesia. My suicide note is dated 24 May. I am still putting a timeline together as I talk to friends, look at sent emails, remember how to get into my online accounts etc.
It looks like I took the pills on the 24th and initiated a bunch of communications. Online i found some summaries of police reports that say i was extracted from my vehicle on the 25th at about 16:45.
I remember a news event from the end of may - the mass shooting in Virginia Beach - so that's when I started coming to in an intensive care unit.
I'm sure that if I hadn't been rescued, though, I would be dead. The electronic records system at my hospital has a patient portal where i can see some notes like seizures observed, blood pressure 55/40, propofol administered etc.
I don't remember the communications, or why my ligature came off, so i also wasn't cognizant of any suffering i had endured from the DPHM. The suffering began when I started to wake up in the intensive care room. There is a whole lot that I don't remember.
I do know that I had some zofran and some pot and i previously experimented with grinding the tablets and found the taste repulsive and nauseating so i'm sure i prepared my stomach a bit.
Apparently all my clothing was destroyed due to contamination with bodily matter like faeces or vomit, which ones i am not sure yet.
I will update this thread when i learn more about what happened after the overdose and the timeline. For instance i don't know if they did a gastric lavage.
My social and medical situation is worse now, so my determination to die is much stronger. Apparently it's reasonable because I've always been honest with the doctors and nurses during my frequent encounters. So i am getting self harm risk assessments almost daily now. I have actually tried to stay in the behavioral health units, after being transferred from a medical ward they only kept me one day, then i presented again with SI and they only kept me for six hours.
Wish i was successful and will do what i can to make it work better next time.
Unfortunately I was rescued. By who, I will discover next week when I get medical records and police reports. I have a suspicion it was a family member, maybe the Borderline (BPD) one who encourages me to kill myself and has a dead husband in her wake already.
I have retrograde amnesia. My suicide note is dated 24 May. I am still putting a timeline together as I talk to friends, look at sent emails, remember how to get into my online accounts etc.
It looks like I took the pills on the 24th and initiated a bunch of communications. Online i found some summaries of police reports that say i was extracted from my vehicle on the 25th at about 16:45.
I remember a news event from the end of may - the mass shooting in Virginia Beach - so that's when I started coming to in an intensive care unit.
I'm sure that if I hadn't been rescued, though, I would be dead. The electronic records system at my hospital has a patient portal where i can see some notes like seizures observed, blood pressure 55/40, propofol administered etc.
I don't remember the communications, or why my ligature came off, so i also wasn't cognizant of any suffering i had endured from the DPHM. The suffering began when I started to wake up in the intensive care room. There is a whole lot that I don't remember.
I do know that I had some zofran and some pot and i previously experimented with grinding the tablets and found the taste repulsive and nauseating so i'm sure i prepared my stomach a bit.
Apparently all my clothing was destroyed due to contamination with bodily matter like faeces or vomit, which ones i am not sure yet.
I will update this thread when i learn more about what happened after the overdose and the timeline. For instance i don't know if they did a gastric lavage.
My social and medical situation is worse now, so my determination to die is much stronger. Apparently it's reasonable because I've always been honest with the doctors and nurses during my frequent encounters. So i am getting self harm risk assessments almost daily now. I have actually tried to stay in the behavioral health units, after being transferred from a medical ward they only kept me one day, then i presented again with SI and they only kept me for six hours.
Wish i was successful and will do what i can to make it work better next time.