Discussion Dilemma: Psychedelics or suicide?

[PsychoPyro]

I am conflicted. I want to die. However, I also, like everyone, tend to choose the "path of least resistance", which would be to take psychs again and continue living.

LSD made my life worthwhile, which I loved, but then after a few months after tripping for the first and only time (well, for serotonergic psychedelics), I wanted to die again. I realized LSD only set me back, because although it was a beautiful, mystical experience, I needed to die, but wouldn't, because LSD made me value experience in general, not just good experiences.


I could easily get 3 tabs in less than 2 days, but I don't know if I should use LSD and continue on this treacherous path, and continue costing my family money for treatment and keeping me alive, or just right now hang myself and end it like that.

 

[Halo13]

The decision is ultimately yours alone. Perhaps take the tabs and feel the situation out more, LSD is excellent in consciousness expansion. Don't feel guilty for getting treatment, either.

 

[Soul]

Taking the lsd now doesn't preclude suicide later if that's what you decide you need to do. The fact that it's a dilemma seems to suggest it's not time for radical acts, so I'd propose exploring other options than suicide. And as Halo13 says, don't feel guilty about accepting help. That's what help is for.

 

[Bloodtearsdust]

Have you tried different psychadelics? What about shrooms? Or MDMA before going to a therapist? Both apparently are helping people. A compound in mushrooms will likely be synthesized in the next few years as an anti-depressant, but I think current trials state it wears off after 4-6 weeks. If you are debating life vs death, it doesn't hurt to give it a shot, unless you really want to die right away. Also, there's this psychedelic NBOMe (N-bombs) that is marketed in place of acid they apparently look similar.. N-Bombs though actually causes suicidal thoughts whereas LSD doesn't. So if you're taking a hit, make sure it's actually LSD

 

[TiredHorse]

Go with the LSD.

I don't mean to be contrary, but in pretty much every case I read here on the forum, dying seems to be a poor second choice behind a satisfying life. Whether the catastrophic discontent in someone's life is from physical or emotional sources, a dearth or an overabundance, one massive source or an overwhelming swarm of small ones, if those sources could be mitigated life would be the preferred option.

If LSD offers you a mechanism to address sources of discontent in your life --through conscious or subconscious pathways -- why would you not explore that? It isn't an irreversable decision not to CTB, it is an exploration of a possible mitigation to factors that are currently fatally overwhelming for you. If you can mitigate those factors to get the prefered option, more power to you!

Though I do understand the resentment of finding yourself where you can't quite CTB. Death is such an uncomplicated path forward that, from standing on its threshold, to look aside and see a possible route to a contented life leading off through some tortuous maze is frustrating as hell. I've been there again and again. I try to console myself that death is always just a step or two off the path of that maze, should the maze become a trap and death again be the preferred route, but it's thin comfort.

Since you have ready access to LSD (I'm jealous!), I would also strongly urge you to explore microdosing. I microdosed with shrooms for about four months, until I built up a tolerance (a chronic problem for me), and it had fantastic effects. I used this site as a resource: https://thethirdwave.co/

I write all this as I drink my morning tea, relaxing before cleaning up the house preparatory to dosing on shrooms in about three hours, in hopes of finding some new way forward for myself. Entheogenic doses of shrooms have been enlightening in the past, so perhaps they will pull me out of my current dive. My last trip was last June, so hopefully I've cleared out the tolerances and will again find some good insight.

And if not, I have an exit bag and N2, as well as a gun. I'm not abandoning my options, just exploring a non-lethal one.

Safe travels, @PsychoPyro, whatever direction you choose.

 

[Painpleasure]

The only reason I have not tried "psychedelics" or any serious drugs is because I know, deep down inside, that it would merely provide a temporary escape from the pain in my life but I would eventually, no doubt, return to the disgusting life I live.

 

[Santiago]

It's all fun and games in the beginning until you get addicted and the drugs don't give you the same effect anymore, but only makes you more miserable. Drugs is a no for me.

 

[want to die 25]

Difficult. Normally I wouldn't recommend drugs.
But if there is at least a small hope that you can life it's maybe not the right moment to suicide.
You should be absolutely sure about suicide. If you success there is no secend chance.

 

[John Smith]

It's all fun and games in the beginning until you get addicted and the drugs don't give you the same effect anymore, but only makes you more miserable. Drugs is a no for me.

Lsd isnt addictive...

 

[TiredHorse]

Nor are shrooms.

 

[s_girl]

I read a fascinating article on psychedelics, and I would love to do them but it's almost impossible here... Even if it only helps me to overcome fear and anxiety before death (SI). But if it helps your life and may reduce your desire for death (as it has been proven to do), why would you NOT want to try it? Read this before deciding.

The Trip Treatment

Research into psychedelics may hold a key to coping with anxiety, addiction, and existential dread. Michael Pollan on psilocybin.

www.newyorker.com

I write all this as I drink my morning tea, relaxing before cleaning up the house preparatory to dosing on shrooms in about three hours, in hopes of finding some new way forward for myself. Entheogenic doses of shrooms have been enlightening in the past, so perhaps they will pull me out of my current dive. My last trip was last June, so hopefully I've cleared out the tolerances and will again find some good insight.

Did you end up taking them and did you find any helpful insights in to death or life?

 

[TiredHorse]

Did you end up taking them and did you find any helpful insights in to death or life?

I ended up not tripping: Not only did it not feel quite right (when the time came I felt off balance and unprepared), but the neighbors were running their various weedwhackers (very aggravating), it was a hot, bright day (bright light is a bummer for me, when tripping), and I woke up with a back ache that only got worse as the day progressed (and would have been aggravated by the discoordination of being under the influence). I've re-scheduled myself for Tuesday, when it's supposed to be grey and showery, which should address the lawn maintenance intrusions and the bright light. Hopefully my back will cooperate. And hopefully it will feel like the right thing to do that day.

I don't know if there is a connection, but I spent a good deal of time around midnight out on the back lawn with a gun pressed to my head, unable to shift my finger the necessary 3/4" to make all further experimentation unnecessary. So close, and yet so far --from either outcome.

As for Michael Pollan, I've read excerpts from his book, and it's quite impressive.

 

[Santiago]

Lsd isnt addictive...

Depends on what you define as addictive. Users can still develop dependency