Help Dilemma : I need advices

[Nirrend]

Hi,

I never post here because I have never really been able to contemplate happiness in my life.

To put it simply, I would like your opinion because I am torn between two options:

1) Ctb because there is no hope left and finally nothing can make me feel better.

2) To give myself one last chance to get better (but I'm only doing this for the one I love and not for myself because I don't believe in it, and maybe that's my mistake).

To put it simply, I've had multiple therapies, multiple treatments and multiple accompaniments for what I go through on a daily basis. It never worked.

That's why I want to ask you: "Have you ever been hospitalized or been in a specialized structure for a type of illness?

I'd like to give myself one last chance and just try, but I'm really scared of being in a "prison" environment, where care is ineffective, where there is no sympathy, compassion, where "carers" don't exist and where the only things that exist are medication and isolation.

I wanted to know if these experiences have helped you, if you would recommend them to me or not and if you know of a type of establishment that is very pleasant to try to regain the desire to live and if you had any names to share with me (in case there is still hope).

I imagine that many people here are in my situation, catching up with the threads and saying "If it doesn't work, I'll ctb".

So, I was wondering if hopes are systematically illusions or not.

Those who are here, keep going, you are strong ❤

Love ❤

 

[Cathy Ames]

I am pleased to see that you are considering this, @Nirrend . Someone I know and used to be very close to DID benefit considerably (was able to work though CSA issue that was underlying the desire to CTB). That was many years ago, and I'd guess things have changed from then. What I am wondering is whether it would be possible for you to find information about particular places ahead of time and verify that the place you intended was decent.

 

[Dot]

Thnk depnds whre u r & wht u hve covrge fr

cn persnlly gve sme infrmatn on dffrnt knds of treatmnts if intrstd & thre r dffrnt typs of m.h institutns offerng dffrnt thngs

 

[Nirrend]

I am pleased to see that you are considering this, @Nirrend . Someone I know and used to be very close to DID benefit considerably (was able to work though CSA issue that was underlying the desire to CTB). That was many years ago, and I'd guess things have changed from then. What I am wondering is whether it would be possible for you to find information about particular places ahead of time and verify that the place you intended was decent.

Ty for your answer ! It's the problem, I think that I won't be able to handle another fail in term of care. This is why I ask here if people had experience in insitutions/psychiatry and if this was useful for them.

In any case, thank you for your kind answer ❤

Thnk depnds whre u r & wht u hve covrge fr

cn persnlly gve sme infrmatn on dffrnt knds of treatmnts if intrstd & thre r dffrnt typs of m.h institutns offerng dffrnt thngs

If I'm really motivated, I can go where I want

 

[Cathy Ames]

Ty for your answer ! It's the problem, I think that I won't be able to handle another fail in term of care. This is why I ask here if people had experience in insitutions/psychiatry and if this was useful for them.

In any case, thank you for your kind answer ❤

You're welcome, of course! I'm not arguing, but I do question what you mean by not being "able to handle" another failure. I DO understand that it is entirely devastating to seek treatment (with hope or even expectations) and then have it fail. But here you are, ready to CTB. I don't completely understand the difference between delaying your CTB until after you have determined that this additional thing you haven't tried yet might help as compared to CTBing "pre-emptively." Of course more time will pass and some money will be spent. What is the rest of the difference? Again, I'm not arguing. I'm trying to understand this if you are willing to explain it to me.

 

[Nirrend]

You're welcome, of course! I'm not arguing, but I do question what you mean by not being "able to handle" another failure. I DO understand that it is entirely devastating to seek treatment (with hope or even expectations) and then have it fail. But here you are, ready to CTB. I don't completely understand the difference between delaying your CTB until after you have determined that this additional thing you haven't tried yet might help as compared to CTBing "pre-emptively." Of course more time will pass and some money will be spent. What is the rest of the difference? Again, I'm not arguing. I'm trying to understand this if you are willing to explain it to me.

No need to worry ❤

To make it easy, if my girlfriend wasn't here, I would've ctb, but, I explained to her my plans and she replied me that she felt devastated but that she understood my choices.

Because of her reactions, I felt guilty and so started a dilemma : "What do I have to do ?? Recover, but I think that if I seek for help it's only for her, because, I think that I have already tried every recover method I could do, and so, if this last attempt to get better works, I guess good for me. Or, do I ctb anyway even if I feel guilty right now ?".

So in fact, if she wasn't here, I would've ctb, but, because I feel bad for her, I'm thinking of seeking for help, even if me, I think that this will not work and that I'm only delaying my death.

In fact, if this last attempt work I guess that it's a good thing, because she will be happy and me too (I imagine ?)

Hoping that my message was more clear !

Sending love ❤

You're welcome, of course! I'm not arguing, but I do question what you mean by not being "able to handle" another failure. I DO understand that it is entirely devastating to seek treatment (with hope or even expectations) and then have it fail. But here you are, ready to CTB. I don't completely understand the difference between delaying your CTB until after you have determined that this additional thing you haven't tried yet might help as compared to CTBing "pre-emptively." Of course more time will pass and some money will be spent. What is the rest of the difference? Again, I'm not arguing. I'm trying to understand this if you are willing to explain it to me.

And so today, I'm trying to find an institution where carers are calm and comprehensive..

Because in a lot of cases, hospitalisations (this what I'm looking for, help over time and on a daily basis) make people feel worse than when they are alone with suicidal thoughts

 

[theboy]

I was hospitalized twice

I will never forget the first hospitalization. It was when I was 16 years old after an attempt. I had wonderful experiences, sad, happy, depressive, funny... it was the best year of my life.

On the other hand, I was also on a lot of drugs, I had electroshock therapy and the nurses often treated us badly.

I suggest you ask your doctor for the name of the clinic. Then, go to Google and check the users' opinion.

You may have one last chance to fix your life. I hope you make it... I am available to chat for anything.

Peace