Didnt want this

[jussrav]

So I really didn't want my life to end up like I have to end it as its either that or suffering. But circumstances are such I have a hundred different negative thoughts in my head that eont let me live, long covid severe stabbing pains that are literally killing me. Has this gor a year. Also had long covid previously forc20 months. Have a pituitary tumour its benign. I have been treated as rubbish my mental health team who refuse to do anything I reached out to mental health teams in hospitals who all repeated the same things and told me to do things eg change psychiatrist which they wont let me do. Chase this person who dies nothing. Put down by mum lead a life hate living. Problems affected my sleep i don't sleeo wake me up hourly . Have no self belief at at all. Suffering mentally in a 24 7 battle with my mind like demons or battles. Trued ti hang myself this morning failed. I even practised being blind and although u dudnt enjoy it it did feel good to be waway from everyone. I cant sit relax or anything mist of my time us spent battling my mental state this is no way to live I dont like to live my life like this exhausted due to no sleeping etc. I kind of messed uo my own life really getting covid and not really looking after myself I am going to try to hang tomorrow the tope us a bit thin please can anyone tell me gmdo I taje oulls to ease the pain its not easy . U am dragging a corpse around I dont know wgat happiness is anymore its just suffering and battling. Everyone is either not understanding, tired of me not bothered. Siblings stopped talking to me. I dont see myself getting better. Precovid I was a happy functioning person. Please if yoy could give advice I am in hell .

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be so torturous, it's such a hellish existence where people suffer so much, I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.

 

[avaruus]

I'm so sorry, if there is a god, they certainly don't care about us at all.
I wish i could give you a big hug, i hope you find peace soon.

 

[carac]

If you can listen to podcasts have a look out for Nicole sachs, inparticular her episodes about recovery from long covid, might be worth a shot if all else has failed.

 

[voyager]

When we're talking long-covid here, are we indeed talking of the illness or vaccination side effects? Because the latter seems to have caused plenty of unnecessary pain on top of it, especially in the U50 age group. This planet has gotten so much worse since the turn of the century. But sorry you're going through that whatever the cause.