Venting didn't get into my dream college, losing hope for my future lol

[neverwashere]

I didn't get into my dream college. Everything that I've done up until now was supposed to lead up to this moment. And I didn't get in. I understand that I already had a low chance of getting in from the very start, since the school is very selective and my grades throughout highschool have not been good due to both my struggles with mental health and the covid lockdown, but I felt like I had a chance at achieving something. It was not only the most prestigious college I applied to, but it was also the most affordable-- I would only need to pay about 4kUSD/year due to my family's financial aid. Nowhere else has such good benefits. Nowhere else I want to go and can afford is prestigious. I know I could've gotten in if I had only put more effort into my work. I hate myself. I hate myself so much for not being able to pull my shit together and pull through when I really needed to. I feel like all I've done in the last few years was sabotage myself. I can't do this anymore. I'm so tired of watching my friends achieve things that I know I could also be achieving, but ending up falling flat on my face. I don't know what to do with myself. I know I can just apply to random colleges and hope at least one of them takes me, but now I'm worried that no matter where I apply, I'll be rejected.

I already had little hope for my future to begin with. Now I have next to none. My two other top choice schools have not responded yet, so I don't know if I'll get into those or not, and that is where most of my hope (and self worth) lies. Its already scary enough navigating the US education system on your own because your immigrant parents don't understand it, but its even scarier knowing that there is a chance that you won't get to do anything with your life. You'll never achieve anything good, you'll never get anywhere in life.

Right now I could be working on missing assignments, or I could be doing something productive, but I'm not. Instead I came onto this forum to bitch and moan about how stupid I am, therefore proving myself right. I can't fucking do this anymore. I'm so tired of holding myself ot high standards just because I was raised to do that, not because I'm actually smart or anything like that.

 

[Sleeper System]

The fact that you're even applying to colleges and want to have a productive future is a sign that you're not as dumb as you feel like you are. Although going to a prestigious college looks good on a resume, sometimes opportunities come despite that. Having any type of college is preferable to none at all if you ask me. I say stop tormenting youself and take a few deep breathes. You still have two more colleges to hear back from and options for others regardless of their status.

You'd be surprised how much the way a person is raised ends up effecting where they ened up in life. If your parents or circumstances have instilled that in you then it's really a positive thing compared the the opposite side of that coin which is be mediocre and not care about anything.

CTB is always on the table no matter what happens anyway so worry about that bridge when you actually get there. Not in the middle of not knowing where things will go. O_O

 

[tidal1]

I can promise you that in the end it is the hardest working individual that achieves the most. It matters little where you went to undergrad. If you plan on a career that involves post grad education, that is honestly what matters more.

You're not a failure and you're not stupid. Don't believe that for a second. You have your whole life ahead of you and if you stay motivated to achieve your goals, you will succeed in the end.

 

[Kyrok]

I have two MAs and a PhD. My undergrad is a large mid-level public university.

I am now a highly recognized name in my field.

Likewise, I know many accomplished people from mediocre undergrad institutions, some of whom have Ivy League PhDs.

There are many, many paths to success. What matters the most is perseverance, offering a unique contribution, and being cordial with others.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

I failed out of a good uni the first summer semester there. I thought my life was over. Watching all of my peers complete with flying colors with ability to use the internet to easily find out who became very sucessful and make great families completely destroyed me. I was somewhat blessed to have a nice self-learning motivation and family that is financially well-to-do to a certain degree, so I was able to open a somewhat sucessful business. But that business stressed me out and I had to sell it. Then I found out late in life that I have Autism and it all made sense. I'm not blaming having autism for my shit life now by any means, but I dont't beat myself up as much for not being where I thought I would be. But overall I would be lying if I said that feeling like a failure wasn't contributing to me wanting to CTB.

I guess the point of me telling you this is that:

1) There is a high chance that this near-term predicament might not neccessarily be the end of the world for you. Could very well be a blessing in disguise.

2) Some things that happen to you are just simply out of your control.

 

[Abyssal]

Listen to what these replies have to say!!! They aren't just saying nonsense optimism, they are very knowledgeable in what they are saying.

I too have been in the same boat, as have many of us if it isn't already clear, and lemme tell ya: it really does get better. Not something you hear much around here, but of all the bulls hit I've gone through, college worries always improve.

 

[dreamingofrest]

This is really tough, I'm so sorry. I did get into my dream college, but I couldn't afford it. I would have had to take out too many student loans and it wouldn't have been a good choice financially. It was really hard to make that decision and end up going to a college that I wasn't as in love with but sometimes you just have to make the best decision you can with the choices you have.
At the end of the day, though, any education is going to help you some. Like other people have said, the prestigiousness of the college isn't actually going to matter that much going into the future. I hope that you're able to afford one of the other schools you do get into, sometimes there's scholarships you can get through colleges themselves or outside foundations that can really help. Also, there's always a possibility of transferring to your dream school later. Is going to a two year community college first an option? It could help you both financially and academically.
With the circumstances you have had to deal with you're still trying to find higher education opportunities, and I think that's something to be proud of.
Best of luck! <3

 

[Specific_Milk]

You're not bitching or moaning at all. The struggle is real. From one immigrant to another, i felt it when you said you have to navigate this system alone. Getting into an Ivy league is not an end all be all and tbh, there is a lot of nepotism that goes on in those institutions. If I were you, I would start aiming for like universities that are just below the Ivy Leagues in rankings, because you don't want to shoot for some no name university either. I also didn't get into my first choice uni, but I got into a lower ranking one in the same group (I'm in the UK so the system is different). It's very stressful to navigate a system that is inherently nepotistic on your own with close to no help. I empathise with that very much

 

[todiefor]

I work in a field where most people come from ivy leagues, but actually many also don't and still get to the same positions. Like kyok said, there are many paths. The Ivy League difference is probably the most stark in the first job u get out of colleague, it is easier to be fair as the most prestigious companies will come recruit directly. But really that is merely the first step into a career. Afterwards it all depends on u taking the right opportunities at the right time by planning your moves and keeping your eyes open, a lot of hard work and persistence and proactiveness, positioning yourself such that you have something unique to offer, and growing your network over time so people will vouch for you and support you. Unless if you decide to work in academia in the end, your academic record increasingly just becomes very unimportant in the large scheme of things, mostly just a talking piece for if u happen to bump into someone from the same college.

Dig around on LinkedIn if you are curious about how others may have gotten to where you want to eventually end up from non ivy colleges and you will no doubt find many.

 

[figurehead]

By just following your train of thought I know you're certainly not stupid. If it really bothers you having failed to get to that college, try something else, Look, I always wanted to become an academic and despite a thousand relapses (I'm bipolar) I made all the way to a doctorate followed by a post-doc. You probably hate me by now. The thing is, with all that, I ended up either lacking experience or being over-qualifie d. Was it worth it? I don't know, but I'm certainly glad I didn't die for that. Life branches in the most various (and at times stupid) ways. Failures always like the end, but I hope you can jump over this one.