Discussion Did your experiences of being queer/ lgbtqia+ contribute to you being here?

[nomoredolor]

Did your experiences of being queer/ lgbtqia+ contribute to you being here?

Many many things brought me here but being queer was a large part of it. I have a lot of religious trauma and negative experiences around it. A lot of my family doesn't support me and believes I am headed to hell. When I attempted in the beginning of December I wore my rainbow pride shirt as a statement. (All of the blood washed out, yay!) and when I successfully die with SN I will wear it again. Trump being reelected did not help anything and now I feel more fear than before.

I made this art for pride month last year


Feel free to share your story here.

All my love,
Anna

 

[CogitoMori]

Intersex people are now considered a part of the LGBT+ community as well since there's so much overlap in medical care and advocacy issues. I'm pretty sure I'm intersex, but haven't been able to get it medically confirmed yet.

 

[Namelesa]

While me being trans and having gender dysphoria was part of why I wanted to die in the past, it isn't a reason anymore and so isn't part of why I am here as I feel like I have gotten a good transition. My family has been mostly supportive of me being trans (except my dad at the start of it but he is better now) and I have been able to get the things I want for my social transition and been able to get on private hrt at age 16. I have definitely gotten lucky with my natural puberty as I had a more femine body compared to other boys and so I been most of time been able to "pass" as cisgender despite having a little late medical transition. Also I am going to say I am bisexual for simplicity sakes and that has never been apart of me being suicidal. So me being queer/LGBTQ+ hasn't contributed in me being here. I am really sorry for anyone tho that has gotten bad experiences cus of their sexuality or being trans due to either unsupportive parents and friends, harder dating life, not able to access transition, any other discrimination they face or for any other reason. Its really unfair :<

 

[Gone soon]

I've been gay since I was about 14 years old, and since I was 19 I am trans. I've experienced bad things like being hated by my parents, bullied at school and in everyday life. I never got real social with other people. So yes, it definitely contributed to my suicidality. But on the other hand I'm proud that I chose this way and will stick to it till my final breath

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

Straight people keep treating me like shit because they think im trans or something, but all the lbgtq+ people treat me like shit because im too ''straight'' for them lol. I got yelled at several time when going to the men's bathroom, pretty much only being saved from any proper abuse by the whole being 6ft tall with big boi shoulder thing.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

I am trans and my environment is heavily transphobic and homophobic. My parents made it clear that they're against it as well so I'm stuck in this body with no nothing as I have no independence. I felt on my skin what it meant to feel depressed due to gender dysphoria.

 

[fly]

Hi,

I went couple of times in psycharty here in Germany. I wasnt out as Trans to anyone but half an year after I was released at home I had some issues which got me to the point where I had an talk to an psychatrist at the psychward I were beforem My friend who brought me there told them about me being trans.
Currently I just dont wanna go there anymore; Im just feared of the way they might see me there.
Love yall

 

[nomoredolor]

Thank you to everyone who took the time to participate in the poll or comment.

Intersex people are now considered a part of the LGBT+ community as well since there's so much overlap in medical care and advocacy issues. I'm pretty sure I'm intersex, but haven't been able to get it medically confirmed yet.

Thank you for telling me and for sharing. I tried to update the poll options when you first commented this but unfortunately it was too late to edit.

While me being trans and having gender dysphoria was part of why I wanted to die in the past, it isn't a reason anymore and so isn't part of why I am here as I feel like I have gotten a good transition. My family has been mostly supportive of me being trans (except my dad at the start of it but he is better now) and I have been able to get the things I want for my social transition and been able to get on private hrt at age 16. I have definitely gotten lucky with my natural puberty as I had a more femine body compared to other boys and so I been most of time been able to "pass" as cisgender despite having a little late medical transition. Also I am going to say I am bisexual for simplicity sakes and that has never been apart of me being suicidal. So me being queer/LGBTQ+ hasn't contributed in me being here. I am really sorry for anyone tho that has gotten bad experiences cus of their sexuality or being trans due to either unsupportive parents and friends, harder dating life, not able to access transition, any other discrimination they face or for any other reason. Its really unfair :<

I'm so thankful that your transition was more or less uneventful and that your family is now all on board. Thank you for sharing your story with us

I've been gay since I was about 14 years old, and since I was 19 I am trans. I've experienced bad things like being hated by my parents, bullied at school and in everyday life. I never got real social with other people. So yes, it definitely contributed to my suicidality. But on the other hand I'm proud that I chose this way and will stick to it till my final breath

I'm proud of you too. And I appreciate you taking the time to share. I wish things were different for you and your family and school was supportive.

Straight people keep treating me like shit because they think im trans or something, but all the lbgtq+ people treat me like shit because im too ''straight'' for them lol. I got yelled at several time when going to the men's bathroom, pretty much only being saved from any proper abuse by the whole being 6ft tall with big boi shoulder thing.

It sounds miserable being mistreated by both groups :( thanks for Sharing.

I am trans and my environment is heavily transphobic and homophobic. My parents made it clear that they're against it as well so I'm stuck in this body with no nothing as I have no independence. I felt on my skin what it meant to feel depressed due to gender dysphoria.

I can imagine the homophobia but not the pain you've had to go through with transphobia. I'm so sorry the people around you are so awful. You don't deserve that. Thanks tor Sharing.

Hi,

I went couple of times in psycharty here in Germany. I wasnt out as Trans to anyone but half an year after I was released at home I had some issues which got me to the point where I had an talk to an psychatrist at the psychward I were beforem My friend who brought me there told them about me being trans.
Currently I just dont wanna go there anymore; Im just feared of the way they might see me there.
Love yall

We love you too. I wish the world was a safer space. Hugs


Anna

 

[TheHolySword]

Absolutely. I'm a trans woman. It was freeing at first but it's become a nightmare. I don't even know how to begin to describe or explain it to people who aren't trans. I'm also asexual which has its own problems. I'm here for a lot of reasons outside of being LGBTQIA+ but it has definitely influenced my desire to CTB

 

[rllysuper]

Being a lesbian, I don't think it contributes too much to my depression but it's definitely there.

I grew up in a family where being queer means you're either looking for attention, or just confused.

After "coming out" for the first time at 13, I remember my dad giving me a book on sexuality confusion in children (or something of the like), implying that I was just stupid and naive to my own feelings. I think it's also because I'm unfortunate looking that my family (and anyone else who's aware of my sexuality) thinks that I'm only interested in women because I'm "too ugly" to get a boyfriend.

While I'm grateful to have the privilege of hiding my sexuality, it's still incredibly invalidating to have my feelings dismissed and labeled by the people closest to me.

 

[OliverTreeLver]

For the longest time I questioned my feelings because of how people around me felt about LGBTQ+. I felt invalid, and like I didn't belong on this planet. Like it would be better that I would disappear or was never born.

 

[leanagainernestly]

Me being trans and going to a rural florida community college is a lot of the reason I dropped out of college, confounded by me being forced out of my tutoring job due to being trans.

So yeah its contributed to how utterly hopeless I feel.

 

[L'absent]

My homosexuality has never been something I needed to be ashamed of, nor has it been influenced by the opinions of others. I've always lived my identity openly, without fear of judgment. Of course, along the way, I've met many people who didn't accept my sexuality and didn't hesitate to offend, but those insults actually said much more about the ones who threw them than about me. However, this is not what led me to join this community. The true motivation that brought me here was a deeper search, a need for efficient methods and insights that I couldn't find elsewhere. It was a quest that comes from the desire to understand and explore existence authentically, from a mindset that embraces love for life in all its nuances. And yes, I'm also and especially interested in your philosophical aspects, the ones that allow us to explore the world from different perspectives to enrich our understanding of existence itself.

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

I live in one of the most queer-friendly parts of the world and I never felt persecuted for being queer, on the contrary it felt good to be part of such a diverse and welcoming community. I spent 6 months living in LA last year, particularly West Hollywood which is basically its own queer city, the city flag is is a pride flag even. It was the only place I ever felt like I really belonged and was making friends.

Now severe mental health issues have forced me to abandon LA to live with my parents in a bland suburb. I'm so depressed I don't have energy to do things that bring out the genderqueer, bisexual side of my personalty. Anhedonia prevents me from getting into jewelry, nail polish, pretty clothes, and experiencing pleasure from going out to a club or dating. I would love to start a new relationship since my wife left me, but I'm in such bad shape nobody in their right minds would want to be with me.

It feels like mental illness has stolen intimate relationships and sexuality from me. Those things were deeply important to me, and it's really hard to find a life worth living without them.

 

[Gangrel]

yes, born in a homophobic place, mom basically said it was a sin and told me to hide it, hid it all my life, never dated before 25, have a long distance partner but it doesn't feel enough, i feel like i fucking missed it, it was stolen from me, i see lgbt people out there having sex and living life, having partners and stuff and i'm a fucking horrible gross piece of shit stuck in a place where even if i had one i wouldn't be able to hold hands with them, it fucking SUCKS

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

Being trans and aromantic has no effect on my suicidality.

 

[shadowsandink]

It's not being trans that makes me feel this way. 75-80% of it is because I live in a transphobic country with people caring more about their worldview than people's lives.

But yes, it's related to being trans in a transphobic culture.

 

[wonderfulheaven]

ive just accepted that ill never pass as anything but feminine so i don't care for the trans part anymore, but aromanticism is so fucked up and i feel no one talks about the suffering that can come with it. it contributes heavily to my will to die. it makes me hate myself. what do you mean im missing out on something that looks like the most beautiful, peak form of human connection that it seems made out to be. why is there something inherently wrong with me that i can't feel, understand nor fathom it

 

[Blueberry Panic]

Yes , just a plain and simple yes

 

[musie]

Yes. I am trans. I've realized it for a while. But I'll continue to live on as a perceived woman until the day I decide to take my own life.

I live with my parents and will probably continue to live with them until I can find a job that pays enough, which will never happen in the US economy. Plus, I'm disabled, so finding any job is tough to begin with. My parents are devout Trump supporters, so as you could probably guess, they would never support my transition. They treat me well, and pay all of my expenses, but I know that would change if I mentioned wanting to transition. Even when I decided to cut my hair short, my father would constantly complain, so I eventually just let it grow out again.

I hate every part of myself. I wish I believed in reincarnation, because it would make my decision so much easier. I would give anything to be a cis male.

 

[shadowsandink]

ive just accepted that ill never pass as anything but feminine so i don't care for the trans part anymore, but aromanticism is so fucked up and i feel no one talks about the suffering that can come with it. it contributes heavily to my will to die. it makes me hate myself. what do you mean im missing out on something that looks like the most beautiful, peak form of human connection that it seems made out to be. why is there something inherently wrong with me that i can't feel, understand nor fathom it

I think I somewhat feel similar to that too. I feel like I'm making my husband lose out on so much because I'm pretty aromantic and asexual. Dysphoria and all these societal abuse might have caused a large part of them with me.

 

[brittlemoth]

I'm trans. Non-binary (she/they). Lately been off HRT because I missed an appointment and can't find the motivation to schedule another one in the pit I'm stuck in. The political situation is just. Awful. It's always been awful, but right now it's just. Sigh. Being NB is living with the constant reminder that you are who you are in a given moment, nobody can ever change that, and the entire system fucking hates you for it and would rather see you dead than free. Nothing has changed. Been that way since before I was born. Power changes hands but the fact that some people have power and others don't and they use that power for oppression and exploitation doesn't change. And for the longest time, people haven't even wanted it to change. They want to be comfortable. And who can blame them? I want comfort too. But it appears the best comfort I have at this point is death.

 

[lavenderlilylies]

Yes. Extremely religious and conservative family in an extremely religious and conservative society. If I don't do it myself they'd definitely do it for me if they found out