Did you isolate yourself as a child?

[LiveSlowDieFast]

I randomly thought a lot about my childhood recently. I didn't really have a difficult childhood, but I realised that there were some things that were different from a lot of the people I know. Mainly though about how as a child I isolated myself all the time.

I wasn't bullied in school, but I still absolutely despised going there. In primary school my class was the "rowdy" one which meant that it was always loud and that there was constantly trouble happening. It also meant that our teacher would yell at our class nearly every day and lose her temper in some way, and while it seemed to not bother the other children at all, it made me extremely scared of her and almost always felt anxious about going to school. I didn't really have a lot of friends, which was my fault too, since I was a total dick a lot of the time. All of that got much better in high school, because there I made more friendships, but aside from one good friend I still have I let all of the others deteriorate immediately after we graduated by pretty much ghosting them or being ghosted myself.

Another thing was that I had really weird eating habits. I refused to eat nearly any kind of food and it meant that especially at family gatherings I'd draw a lot of (negative) attention to me. I think especially my dad was kinda ashamed of me sometimes. Eventually I began feeling really uneasy whenever I was around my extended family and I'd avoid them as much as possible, because I always felt like an outsider around them. I don't know why I refused to eat some many things, almost every food seemed absolutely disgusting for some reason and eating felt like a chore. I also got made fun of by other children whenever they saw me eat something for some reason, which also made me feel pretty uneasy about that for a long time.

My dad's really into tech and he got me hooked on PC games from a very early age on. In addition to the stuff above it lead to me mostly just spending my time alone in my room in front of my PC whenever I got the chance to. My mum would often make me take out the trash so that I'd at least go outside for a little bit, aside from going to school. I dunno, they complained a lot about how I spend too much time in my room, but they never really did anything against it. As a child and teenager I didn't really realise that it would be bad for me. I didn't really mind it being alone, since there I felt at ease and it what was what I was used to, but now I feel like I just wasted my childhood for no reason.

I'm sorry if this seems whiny, since it's not nearly as bad as what most others here have experienced, but all of this just sprang to my mind and I felt the need to get it off my chest.

How about you guys? Can anyone relate to some of these things, especially also with the eating habits as a child? Did you isolate yourself a lot from your family as a child?

 

[MsM3talGamer]

My parents isolated me from everyone by cutting off a lot of the extended family. Also, I was unable to invite friends home due to my psycho dad's violent temper. As a result, I'm an introverted recluse with very poor social skills. Foodwise we never ate meals around the table, we just grabbed stuff from the fridge and ate alone. It was a hugely dysfunctional family.

 

[LiveSlowDieFast]

My parents isolated me from everyone by cutting off a lot of the extended family. Also, I was unable to invite friends home due to my psycho dad's violent temper. As a result, I'm an introverted recluse with very poor social skills. Foodwise we never ate meals around the table, we just grabbed stuff from the fridge and ate alone. It was a hugely dysfunctional family.

I'm so sorry to hear about these things.

Poor social skills suck. Just because you don't have the magic ability to know what is expected of you to say in any given situation, means that most people will treat you like an animal.

 

[Threads]

I played a lot of vidya growing up by myself. I did play by myself with my action figures.

I was locked away from people for extended periods of time in a room in our house as a form of punishment.

 

[Red star]

I was isolated but not by choice. My parents would let the neighbor babysit me which consisted of being kept alone in a basement in a crib. On the bright side I got pro at climbing out of cribs because of it and would nom on some cookies left on tables.

When it came time for kindergarden I was terrified. I wouldn't let my dad drop me off, I was the hysterical kid that couldn't be comforted lol. Eventually I calmed down and had a snack with the rest of the kids and wondered why some of them were eating orange peels.

 

[Justanotherconsumer]

Yes, but I have no further energy to comment further. I never really cared too much as a child I just wandered through the woods encountering wild animals. Now I'm stuck in a city feels like I already died decades ago.

 

[EndofMyRope]

I did. I knew my family wasn't the "norm" and didn't want my mother around any potential friends. She was a non-functional alcoholic who was constantly losing her license and in and out of rehab...

 

[wiIIow]

I can relate to both the isolation and the strange eating habits.

I was a very picky eater as a kid, like I had this weird fear of trying anything new I guess. It got so bad that my mom made me make a list of three foods that I was allowed to refuse to eat. I also hated eating in front of people, I would have this weird feeling of disgust with myself. That continued into my teens, and a fear of eating in front of people evolved into a full fledged eating disorder.

I spent most of my time alone as a kid. My mom kept me in this bubble and isolated me from the outside world as much as possible. It was kind of part of the cult mentality of that family(long story), and her own paranoia and need for control. However, I preferred to be alone anyway, I've never been good at socializing and I was able to entertain myself just fine. my time spent at my dad's house was mostly video games, tv, drawing or playing with my stuffed animals. Going into my teens I was usually on the computer, and to this day I still avoid people as much as possible.

Isolation has been a common factor my whole life. I have conflicting feelings about it

 

[LiveSlowDieFast]

I can relate to both the isolation and the strange eating habits.

I was a very picky eater as a kid, like I had this weird fear of trying anything new I guess. It got so bad that my mom made me make a list of three foods that I was allowed to refuse to eat. I also hated eating in front of people, I would have this weird feeling of disgust with myself. That continued into my teens, and a fear of eating in front of people evolved into a full fledged eating disorder.

I spent most of my time alone as a kid. My mom kept me in this bubble and isolated me from the outside world as much as possible. It was kind of part of the cult mentality of that family(long story), and her own paranoia and need for control. However, I preferred to be alone anyway, I've never been good at socializing and I was able to entertain myself just fine. my time spent at my dad's house was mostly video games, tv, drawing or playing with my stuffed animals. Going into my teens I was usually on the computer, and to this day I still avoid people as much as possible.

Isolation has been a common factor my whole life. I have conflicting feelings about it

Yeah, the fear of trying new food hits the nail on the head. I have no idea where it came from too, because as a baby I ate a lot and normally.

 

[Letmego. Please]

Yes & no (I'm getting indecisive in my old age)

I don't remember much about my primary school era other than being told i was kicked out of all local & they had to send me to some private one (no idea if what i was told was true) They then sued the local authority so that i didn't go to the same secondary school as my brother (apparently i would have upset his amazing brilliance!) So i get sent to a different one 10 miles away, it was an all girls school so in hindsight very bitchy, & thats just not me. I remember having a few friends then one day walking into class to find they had set up a different click & i was excluded, confused the hell out of me at the time, anyway it then turned out i was very shy, coupled with my home life that was spent mostly alone, we lived out in the countryside so i spent most of my time out in the woods by myself with the dog that was my job to walk anyway, add in a distant uninterested (in me) mother, the fact that going to a different school meant that i no longer had any real interaction with my brother, oh and the random periods when i would come home to find i had done something to piss her off, i would find this out by sticking my head into the lounge to say hi & have no one reply, boy that was fun.....
Anyway by the time my depression kicked in badly at 13 i then tended to isolate myself, used to spend hours sitting at the top of the stairs looking out at the cemetery across the road thinking you lucky bastards.

I have been thinking about it more lately, i know i have happily isolated myself from everything numerous times, but it got me wondering, ever since i left home at 18 i have always tried to keep my parents out of my business, he used to 'Pnc' me (checking my record on the police national computer) & trying to control what i could or couldn't do, something that was never going to work on a person who now lived 100 miles away, and was a slightly functioning Chef/Alcoholic on a self destruct spiral. Sorry got sidetracked again. What i now am unsure of is was my relationship or lack of it with my parents due to an uncaring & uninterested mother or is it because i shut them out of my life before i can even remember doing so?

You know like when you start to distrust your own memory's.......idk

 

[Final Escape]

I randomly thought a lot about my childhood recently. I didn't really have a difficult childhood, but I realised that there were some things that were different from a lot of the people I know. Mainly though about how as a child I isolated myself all the time.

I wasn't bullied in school, but I still absolutely despised going there. In primary school my class was the "rowdy" one which meant that it was always loud and that there was constantly trouble happening. It also meant that our teacher would yell at our class nearly every day and lose her temper in some way, and while it seemed to not bother the other children at all, it made me extremely scared of her and almost always felt anxious about going to school. I didn't really have a lot of friends, which was my fault too, since I was a total dick a lot of the time. All of that got much better in high school, because there I made more friendships, but aside from one good friend I still have I let all of the others deteriorate immediately after we graduated by pretty much ghosting them or being ghosted myself.

Another thing was that I had really weird eating habits. I refused to eat nearly any kind of food and it meant that especially at family gatherings I'd draw a lot of (negative) attention to me. I think especially my dad was kinda ashamed of me sometimes. Eventually I began feeling really uneasy whenever I was around my extended family and I'd avoid them as much as possible, because I always felt like an outsider around them. I don't know why I refused to eat some many things, almost every food seemed absolutely disgusting for some reason and eating felt like a chore. I also got made fun of by other children whenever they saw me eat something for some reason, which also made me feel pretty uneasy about that for a long time.

My dad's really into tech and he got me hooked on PC games from a very early age on. In addition to the stuff above it lead to me mostly just spending my time alone in my room in front of my PC whenever I got the chance to. My mum would often make me take out the trash so that I'd at least go outside for a little bit, aside from going to school. I dunno, they complained a lot about how I spend too much time in my room, but they never really did anything against it. As a child and teenager I didn't really realise that it would be bad for me. I didn't really mind it being alone, since there I felt at ease and it what was what I was used to, but now I feel like I just wasted my childhood for no reason.

I'm sorry if this seems whiny, since it's not nearly as bad as what most others here have experienced, but all of this just sprang to my mind and I felt the need to get it off my chest.

How about you guys? Can anyone relate to some of these things, especially also with the eating habits as a child? Did you isolate yourself a lot from your family as a child?

Yes, I was a loner as a kid. I did have friends but I spent a lot of time by myself too.

 

[divinized]

Kind of. Whenever I have the choice to avoid social gatherings and things like that, I tend to stay home. And I also relate to the eating thing. I won't eat in restaurants at all and during family dinners I eat in really small amounts. :/

 

[GhostedToast]

For the most part yes. I never had many friends and even the ones i had i wouldn't talk to or hang out with much. And i HATED and still hate being dragged to family occasions.

 

[Rose Mirren]

I was an only child for the first five years of my life. I live in the province, and I didn't really have neighbors around. I learned how to play with myself, mostly through my imagination. I gained a very deep appreciation for literature, which is why I'm a literature major in college right now. My father introduced me to Dan Brown and John Grisham at the age of 9. I did have fond childhood memories though. I'd climb trees, ride horses, jump over fences, swim... I was really active.

It makes me sad thinking about it, mainly because I was pretty happy as a kid... but look how I turned out. It's sad to think about what I've become.

 

[Xerxes]

My parents isolated me for a good part of my childhood. I wasn't allowed friends until 13. I had a lot of imaginary friends that I play with. Also my brother broke a lot of my toys, so my parents gave up on buying me anymore. I just played with broken toys with my imaginary friends, and talking to myself, while receiving my daily beatings cause I looked like someone my mom hated. Yay go me.

 

[Lra888]

Yes I was very isolated as a kid. I used to ride my bike alone, go out in the woods by myself, sit alone and draw. I always had social anxiety in school but did manage to gain a few friends as I got older.

 

[TAW122]

I became more isolated in my late teen years since I was being bullied pretty frequently and I hated being around people. I just wanted my solidarity at the time. Growing up, I wasn't really social either, but I oftenly hung out with one or two close friends (who later parted ways when we all grew up).

 

[KitKat]

My mother isolated me, through manipulation, and by not allowing me to keep in touch with people...

 

[Lefty]

I remember isolating myself. I didn't have a difficult childhood myself. It was mostly fine most of the time. I was just used to being alone. I sorta always had trouble socializing. I had some friends. I still have a few friends today. It was when I got out of high school, I tried being a little more social, and later realized it was a huge mistake. I found out that people can be really toxic and that there is people who will always be toxic. I also have a lot of issues that makes doing every-day things hard for me to do. I also feel my mental health continues to fail. I believe feeling stuck and not being able to figure it out has led me to more and more to CTB. I think walking into the woods and never coming out would be a good idea on my part.

 

[lost illusions]

I was forced to be isolated early in life, after that I learned I don't belong around anyone so yes I isolated myself. Give the outside world what it wants

 

[gnrluver0105]

Yes, a lot, usually just have one best friend in school, and I usually play alone, in teenager years, I usually spent my time in my room in the PC, or playing VG, and to this time, I don't like family events.

 

[NotWorthLiving]

I isolated myself and my patents actually tried to get me to go to friends hosts or they come to mine

 

[NotWorthLiving]

PM a mod and ask why

 

[Xaphous]

PM a mod and ask why

Sorry, I am dumb I just realised it was a different thread

 

[NotWorthLiving]

Sorry, I am dumb I just realised it was a different thread

Lol

 

[stargazer]

I'll keep it short and sweet, but yes I kept to myself during school lunch breaks and recess breaks.

I would run around, play on the playground, basically all these things I did on my own.

Very rarely were the others wanting me to hang around. They mostly just stuck to their groups and I just stuck to doing my own thing.

I basically did the same thing from high school through to technical college. I just kept to myself, made polite chit-chat where possible to put people at ease, and just waited eagerly for every day to be over already.

I guess you could say to some people it was an isolated, lonely existence, but looking back now, it's the only life I've ever known.

At least I didn't end up with the wrong crowd, taking drugs, or knocking up someone. So despite the isolation, I came out of it...unscathed?

I find group work hard, among other reasons, or working in these workplaces now where all they do is "team effort" or "team building." It's BS for some of us, but of course, they don't hear me/us.

 

[sadak_the_wanderer]

Isolation happened to me, it was not something I initiated. I adapted to it, as best as I could, and now it is something like a habit. It isn't exactly hard, I'm not someone people want to know, anyway.

 

[Help_Me]

I was forced to. Living 5 years aboard with no friends e.t.c. I hate my parents for this business trip and I won't ever forget it. I always wanted to be normal, but life just made me completely isolated for some time.

 

[Toxic Person]

My mom isolate me in my childhood (now too but its a another story) I never had friends bc i never meet them outside.
I always saw the kids they play outside and have fun... It was horrible for me.
She always told me "outside are the devil. And he will catch u" and i was so sacred of everything that i never talk to anyone (only to my mom and my sister)

It was really horrible tbh.

 

[Mule]

I was fairly precocious as a child, my brother wqs the loner. Then we just switched. In my teens I just grew further and further apart from people. I was happy being quiet. These days I still chill with myself most of the time.