Did anyone else ignore responsibilities and relied on suicide?

[Josef2000]

I first started this when I was 15, which was terrible because I put no effort into school, qualifications, driving, health and even my credit score is ruined because I did not expect to be alive long enough for any of this to bite me back.

So many suicide attempts later, I'm on SS writing this at midnight realising how fucked I am and how careless I had been.

 

[Squiddy]

I haven't applied for any transfer colleges because I wasn't sure whether I would ctb or not. I'm still unsure, but I'll probably apply just in case I don't

 

[ohhgeeitsme]

Yeah, same here. I really fucked myself over with this one.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

I have always put off things like preparing for the tail end of life because I never planned to go that far so yes

 

[abruptum]

yeah not caring about life and hoping for death has just ruined so many opportunities ive had

 

[Livingvsdying25]

Yeah. I try my best not to fall into the habit bc it makes things harder if im gonna be alive but...

On the flip side I've realized I can only handle responsibilities to a certain capacity and in ways.

In a lot of ways im living to die and Im ok with that bc when I've tried to put in the effort it backfired in the long run. Not enough to last enough in the long run for me.

Jus trying to get the most important things done right now. Day by day. Lots of self forgiveness

 

[Nymph]

Yeah, I'm bad at school and don't improve on my hobbies..cause what's the point if I'm just gonna ctb. Well, look at me, I'm still here and now completely worthless and behind everyone

 

[IsThisTheEnd?]

well I think I'm quite a bit older than most of you but I've always had the mindset that well I'm going to ctb so what does it matter, totally wired different, don't know what I ever wanted or expected but I never really cared for life, but now I'm here giving it another chance again and again and it's not as easy as I thought to ctb.

 

[Loser47]

Yeah and I'm not dead and having to live a miserable life

 

[stygal]

For some reason I've always been a perfectionist and really driven to get everything done the right way (education, job, responsibilities).

Ever since my physical decline and especially in the last two years I burned more bridges (with old friends), not taking care of myself and started to give nearly no effort in my job.
That's bad...would require lots of effort to undo it all.

 

[Futile]

My motto is to always do the bare minimum to survive. Even if I didn't want to ctb my life would never get any better so what's the point

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

My motto is to always do the bare minimum to survive. Even if I didn't want to ctb my life would never get any better so what's the point

Another good thing is by doing the minimum you spite the powers that be. This is an amazing strat especially for the young as for most their future has been ruined by high taxes to pay overinflated pensions , global warming , student loan scam intentionally designed to trap them and suppress their wages

 

[IsThisTheEnd?]

Another good thing is by doing the minimum you spite the powers that be. This is an amazing strat especially for the young as for most their future has been ruined by high taxes to pay overinflated pensions , global warming , student loan scam intentionally designed to trap them and suppress their wages

although I agree to some extent I often feel people hate to see you excel and working hard, especially if your not a normie(yes I'm now using that phrase from another thread).

Much Love All SSx

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

although I agree to some extent I often feel people hate to see you excel and working hard, especially if your not a normie(yes I'm now using that phrase from another thread).

Much Love All SSx

Yes this is true. I'm not against work and I like it . the one thing they hate the most is if you can live minimalistically with limited interface with corporate and government entities . This is the mindset of the FIRE people

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Yes. After I did not go through with my first (partial) attempt which was quite a long time ago I put many things on hold, because I convinced myself that I would definitely find the will to try again at suicide and be successful - except this did not happen. It has been around 8 years since the first attempt and I have been stuck in an apathy loop ever since. That is 8 years that have been wasted.

Right now I only commit to the basics needed to survive - wash, eat and work. Every other aspect of life has been neglected.

 

[TheSomebody]

One of the main reasons I want CTB is because I don't want to be responsible. I hate being born and thanks to that I have to deal with this whole mess. Not interested.

 

[StateOfMind]

It's a catch 22. If you work hard and make an effort in life you may not reach the state of mind required to ctb.
But if you let yourself go over time and don't ctb your situation will just get worse.
If you have a good method, best thing is not to think about it too much and just do it.
This is why I prefer instant death methods because you only need to be in that state of mind for a very short time.

 

[fixitinpost]

You could say I'm there right now. I decided pretty early on that I wasn't going to live past my mid-40s, unless I had managed to start a family. Growing old and dying alone in a home ain't for me. So at 33 I still haven't put a penny into retirement savings.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

You could say I'm there right now. I decided pretty early on that I wasn't going to live past my mid-40s, unless I had managed to start a family. Growing old and dying alone in a home ain't for me. So at 33 I still haven't put a penny into retirement savings.

Retirement is one of the biggest cons ever invented. It was a good way to pacify low IQ industrialized country populations.

 

[262653]

I didn't put sufficient effort in planning, building, furnishing, and sustaining my life ever since I was 8. Now that I'm considering suicide, I don't have to worry about competition, about time and effort wasted on unimportant nonsense like online video games. I can finally relax and do something that makes me feel good right now, now that the future is taken care of.

 

[foxdie]

Retirement is one of the biggest cons ever invented. It was a good way to pacify low IQ industrialized country populations.

This conjured an image of roving gangs of retirees overtaking a breakfast buffet or something. "Oh no, how will we pacify them? We need more jam packets! They've breached the gate!" Lmao, sorry, I don't know why my brain did that.

But back on topic, I also totally ruined my life back when I naively thought I'd have no issues. I want to die right, what could go wrong? Well everything apparently, I can't even kms properly and now I'm rightly fuck because of this. I relate to this so much @Josef2000

 

[TooConscious]

So you wish you had a clean slate?
And are feeling pressured socially/financially to commit suicide rather than a want to die? If that's the case there's plenty of help there.

 

[WornOutLife]

Yeah, ctb was always my "saviour" when trouble came.
"This course and these people? Well, I'll just ctb and won't come here anymore"
"This job? I hate it! I'll quit. Anyway, I'm dying soon" and so on lol

Still, here I am! Don't know what gonna happen!

 

[Ethereal]

I first started this when I was 15, which was terrible because I put no effort into school, qualifications, driving, health and even my credit score is ruined because I did not expect to be alive long enough for any of this to bite me back.

So many suicide attempts later, I'm on SS writing this at midnight realising how fucked I am and how careless I had been.

An eye-opening moment for you? Sounds as if some momentum is building here.

 

[daveqc]

Yeah, ctb was always my "saviour" when trouble came.
"This course and these people? Well, I'll just ctb and won't come here anymore"
"This job? I hate it! I'll quit. Anyway, I'm dying soon" and so on lol

Still, here I am! Don't know what gonna happen!

That's exactly my life for the last 10 years...(Im 30)

 

[kolski]

Ever since I was 15 I had told myself that I would ctb soon. I'm 22, with no life goals n a heap load of problems now. I screwed up my life because I never even considered that I wouldn't ctb. So yh..

 

[Spitfire]

I seriously tried. I gave up every penny and every social contact close to me becoming an absolute nobody, as I stil am, and no it has not helped me to CTB.

CTB because I know and feel it is the way out for me. I want that out and my frivolous mind is absurd to the core... I am sooo stupid, fuck!

 

[neren]

I've been suicidal since I was a teen. Selfsabotage, ruining relationships, and careers. I'm 35 now. I gave it an honest effort to be better. Had a good job, a family, happiness. Then like clockwork I fucked it up, again, It seems like everything I touch turns to shit. I cant enjoy anything because I know it will be ruined. So now there is no point. Bills can pile up, dishes unwashed, mundane tasks don't have meaning.

 

[MindFrog]

Yeah... Mainly because it doesnt feel like an accomplishment anymore. I never felt happy even after getting my diploma.. I felt lied to.. So I let myself rot..

Maybe my expectations are too high? Maybe I just hate my life? I dont know...

 

[neren]

It wouldn't be so bad if there wasn't crushing debt attached to diplomas.