I always had dreams of using my intelligence and becoming an academic or technologist. But after several incidents at school I was withdrawn from most of my GCSEs. They had already thrown me in the school for disabled children for no real reason other than having no friends. After school, left to rot. Not one person talked to me about college, university, or anything. I'm middle aged now and have had to waste my life by making mistakes and losing so much time while everyone else got the help. I had interests and motivation but no connections or guidance whatsoever. Why did I get pre-selected to be a loser and fall through the cracks? I couldn't help it that I was being abused. Now society thinks that means I can't take responsibility. Can't help but hate everything.
I went to college, but it was 100% on me. Didn't get a dime from my parents, and I worked full time the entire time I was in college. I worked at a job I hated for a couple years because they had tuition assistance. I also took a year off between junior college and university.
I would highly suggest you do an honest assessment of you skills, knowledge, and academic potential. This is the part that most people skip, and they wind up in programs they won't or can't finish, owing many thousands of dollars. In retrospect, I wish I had gone a completely different route than I did, but again, I had zero guidance from my high school or parents.
Pm me if you want to talk about this in private, or to bounce some ideas off one another.
I would highly suggest you do an honest assessment of you skills, knowledge, and academic potential. This is the part that most people skip, and they wind up in programs they won't or can't finish, owing many thousands of dollars. In retrospect, I wish I had gone a completely different route than I did, but again, I had zero guidance from my high school or parents.
Pm me if you want to talk about this in private, or to bounce some ideas off one another.
Pluto
Meowing to go out
- Dec 27, 2020
- 3,861
I dropped out of school before finishing because I was being bullied to the extent that I was no longer functioning. But the real bullies were my family at home, and there was no escape from them. I shut myself in my bedroom for years. Over many years I started to find jobs and currently drive trucks and own a humble house which protects me from ever having to see the family again. But even though I achieved something or a miracle to survive at all, I'm now middle-aged and realise that I'm not sure what it was all for. I have never lived life and it would take a miracle for me to start now. I just don't know.
Thanks for your post. I understand this is a competitive world and there's perceived value to say you achieved success by studying and working hard in isolation, but that doesn't happen. I also know some people make this the core of their identity and self-esteem, or a belief like a religion, so please don't be offended.
For instance an honest self-assessment of skills and potential is impossible. There's no verifiable method to task what information is relevant without insider knowledge, no way to know what occupation is suitable for you. Getting a good education is 100% not something you can do on your own.
After being dumped in a homeless shelter I travelled to universities, even though I was a nervous wreck completely written off by society. Everyone exploited me and I nearly became homeless again. Life is pointless against odds like that. Just one minute of guidance would have saved years.
That happened to me too. I went to school and got bullied, went home and got bullied. Ended up in customer service helpdesks, can never afford a house or car now. Seems like only another role of the dice would change anything.
Last edited:
Quite the opposite - I was using it more as a cautionary tale of working hard for something that has only barely paid off over the years. Basically, I'm saying if you want to go to college, it's definitely possible without your family's support. But it's going to be a ton of time and work. Life will suck. You will have none of the experiences you see on tv. It's basically wake up, work, go to school at night, homework, a little sleep, and repeat for 3-4 years.
Agree totally. I had no one to guide me to what to take. So I asked a few teachers what would be the easiest major since I was going to have to work full time. Most said business, and they were right. It was pretty easy academically. I wanted to go into comp sci or engineering. I could have easily handled the work academically, but probably not all the homework and still been able to work to support myself.
Sorry to hear that. I never was on the streets, but I know that it's incredibly tough to get out of that situation. Congratulations for getting and staying out of that situation.
I didn't even get to ask a few teachers. Not one subject was discussed or recommended. The only thing people did was ask me what I wanted to do. That's it. The group session that was supposed to cover it was kind of funny, the teacher threw out some forms and said pick a career. Oh there was a poster that said try your best. I would have had the potential for CS too but didn't even know it existed. There was zero support to get out of homelessness either. Literally no one helped. There were workers but they didn't care about you.
People have always said that I'm intelligent and I'm tired of dead end jobs so the plan is to go back to school and study consumer psychology because it interests me. Not enjoyable writing a personal statement though. So many mistakes. Easy to fall into the frustration of abandonment and perceived injustices.
lostautist
wandering
- Jan 12, 2022
- 225
I fell through the cracks and my father didn't help. After being a lab-rat, poked and prodded by doctors when I was an adolescent for being an atypical high-functioning autist who wasn't speaking, doctors basically verbally abused me until I had a major mental breakdown to start talking. Well I did. That's quite a bit of a different story so I'll skip past a few years...
Academically, I started to excel. By 5th grade I had started participating in the school's Mentally Gifted Minors program and had tremendous learning potential and they had requested that I be sent to 8th grade. My father denied them. When I was in 6th grade, they stated that I was already at college level in a number of different categories and wanted to move me to High School, 9th grade. My father refused. I complained to him in front of the school board when they suggested this and he screamed "I don;t want to have a FREAK for a son"... as if he didn't realize the years of sexual abuse had already made me one. So, by the time I got to High School, they had merged two schools and had no extra curricular activities and taking college courses by HS kids weren't a thing then. So I basically ended up ruining my chances at uni because school had been repetitively teaching me the same things I had known for years.
I always wondered what life would have been like if he had just said yes. Or if I just had a childhood. Or... anything different.
Academically, I started to excel. By 5th grade I had started participating in the school's Mentally Gifted Minors program and had tremendous learning potential and they had requested that I be sent to 8th grade. My father denied them. When I was in 6th grade, they stated that I was already at college level in a number of different categories and wanted to move me to High School, 9th grade. My father refused. I complained to him in front of the school board when they suggested this and he screamed "I don;t want to have a FREAK for a son"... as if he didn't realize the years of sexual abuse had already made me one. So, by the time I got to High School, they had merged two schools and had no extra curricular activities and taking college courses by HS kids weren't a thing then. So I basically ended up ruining my chances at uni because school had been repetitively teaching me the same things I had known for years.
I always wondered what life would have been like if he had just said yes. Or if I just had a childhood. Or... anything different.
So go to a technical or trade school instead, and make more than many university grads will, in less time.
lostautist
wandering
- Jan 12, 2022
- 225
I have an AS in CS and I do have technical training. By the way, if I could afford to go back to school instead of hovering over my current situation of losing absolutely everything, I would. How about go troll someone esle?
Last edited:
Sorry, that came out wrong. I meant it as don't get suckered into a traditional college when there are better options. Wish you all the best in your career.
lostautist
wandering
- Jan 12, 2022
- 225
Fair enough, apology accepted. That did hit me hard in a soft spot. I would have done literally anything to get a full ride scholarship when I was younger, or even now. I grew up being pushed by almost everything to go into the wrong direction and it was my poor life decisions not to fight harder against it. I was just sharing.
If I wasn't so close to my ctb date, I would totally focus on getting a bunch of it and info sec certs. In today's world, those mean so much more than a degree. I worked on a project with a senior vp of it for Chase bank. She told me half the people they hire don't have any college - just some industry standard certs, and these 20 year olds were starting around $80k first year. That's after two years of studying and maybe $5k in prep materials and tests
Squiddy
Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
- Sep 4, 2019
- 5,903
My mom paid for most of my college, but threw the rest of the bill at me (I thought she would pay all of it so it was a bit of a surprise to see that I owe a couple thousand). She eventually told me that she wouldn't pay or co sign any bills if I transfer to a 4 year school. Idk if I even will be around to transfer to a 4 year school though (not for that reason though)
lostautist
wandering
- Jan 12, 2022
- 225
My degree is way out of date, I would basically need to study for years if I wanted to get back into serious IT work. I want to get a nursing degree so I can help others, but that's even beyond my reach now. I'm here by different situation than most, I'm not here wanting to catch the ride, that's just my absolute last resort that I would prefer to avoid.
In that case, I definitely hope you can do what will make you happy. It would be great for some members to decide to not get on the bus, but stay for a while instead.
One thing with nursing (at least in the us). The cost:benefit is way less than becoming a physician assistant. The pa is one more year of school, but pretty much double the salary of a rn.
lostautist
wandering
- Jan 12, 2022
- 225
Yeah, I know, but pay isn't a primary concern. I realized after care giving for my mother until she passed was something I enjoyed. I was always the one taking care of my passed out drunk friends, being designated driver and being the responsible one in a group of misfits. I realized that I can't make the world a better place, but I was pretty good at taking care of others. It had meaning and purpose decades before I could ever realize it.
angiegirl30
Student
- Jan 20, 2022
- 112
My parents couldn't afford to help so I applied myself in high school and received a partial scholarship. The rest was paid for my grants and student loans.
Similar threads
Offtopic
Ironborn
