Discussion Detaching from life before ctb?

[thebookofdisquiet]

Please tell me if you relate to it, I do have DPDR disorder but still, it's something that seems so natural to do it when you're suicidal and I never find anything about it!

I've been gradually removing myself from my own life: ending friendships, donating all my stuff and never buying anything (I always talk about minimalism so no one cared), giving up hobbies, letting go of preferences and cravings to avoid seeking/discomfort if I'm unable to obtain what I want or avoid what I don't, etc.

I never willingly go anywhere or interact, but I also function when I need to, talk if talked to. I study, clean my house, eat/shower/sleep..but as a "no one", unconsciously and completely automatic.

I'm just watching feelings come and go, avoiding all thoughts about my daily life/past/future, dropping all labels or adjectives about who I am to simply...undo myself? Fade away? Until I'm nothing more than flesh here and my mind is occupied by anything that isn't this life experience.

(english is not my first language so pls ignore any errors)

 

[user933957]

I am doing that, I have recently started to detach myself from friendships and I'm thinking of selling alot of my stuff, or giving them away.

 

[FindingHome]

I'm also detaching. I'm spending my time alone and saying No to people.