DeadD
King Idiot
- Mar 28, 2019
- 46
Im always desperate. Desperate for satisfaction, Serotonin, for the pain to stop, to feel like I'm being heard, etc. I'm always desperate and my needs always feel wildly unmet to a degree where I just feel like I'm rotting away. Trying to talk about it in the actual depth I'm feeling is impossible. I feel especially isolated from the people I'm supposed to feel close with. No one gets it. It's exhausting. You have to construct everything you do and say because people cannot handle the reality of the situation and their reactions make everything worse. "You can talk to me" but you really have no idea how much I cannot. Coupled with the fact that just the way everyone in my life reacts to me saying I want to die, my disabled brain won't let me get out the words I need to properly express what I'm feeling
I'm done feeling like I'm trapped in a body that's just constantly short circuiting and breaking down. I'm tired of not living in the environment I need to thrive. I know that environment is unobtainable.
I hate how I feel every day and I hate the way I interact with others. I want to be done so bad. Deadass I'm just done and I'm only here because I don't want to hurt anyone with my death but idk how much longer I can lay around in my own rot
I'm done feeling like I'm trapped in a body that's just constantly short circuiting and breaking down. I'm tired of not living in the environment I need to thrive. I know that environment is unobtainable.
I hate how I feel every day and I hate the way I interact with others. I want to be done so bad. Deadass I'm just done and I'm only here because I don't want to hurt anyone with my death but idk how much longer I can lay around in my own rot