Story Desperate

[Rolliewoo]

Guys I've gone and gotten myself into so much shit, so easily and quickly I cannot quite believe how quickly events can turn on there arse. One bad person crosses your path for less than 12 hours and the world is turned upside down. I'm unable to control my thoughts and anxiety im literally sat here shaking like someone who has been through some sort of trauma. I'm so frustrated cos I wanna be gone and end it but I'm leaving behind so much and the destruction it would cause would be so bad but equally my closest don't realise tht me being gone is far better in the long run. I wanna end it right here and now but am a scared coward....scared of pain and it failing.....scared of not having planned a method....just scared fucking stupid arse scared. Isn't it just awful that when a person has had enough it doesn't matter, things can't be just ended peacefully, waves of pain and grief and sheer gut wrenching sorrow have to ridden. Urgh....fucking sick of this feeling so much⁴

 

[WornOutLife]

What did it exactly happen with this person? I'm so sorry you're feeling like this.

The same has happened to me more than once. I got extremely depressed and suicidal just because of an argument or things like that with an X person.

 

[Rolliewoo]

Basically long story story I was in a comprising situation that I really shouldn't of been in and I was drunk so bad I basically for the first time in my life have zero recollection of what happened and he told me ALOT happened. Its not even just that....he is not a good person and the consequences of my unaware actions could be quite dangerous if they were to be put in the wrong hands. The unknown threat destroys me with anxiety. This ontop of my already shitshow of life stresses hasn't helped but I just wonder who I am when I put myself in these kinds of situations when I should know better. Make sense