Method Desperate to CTB

[CatIsFedUpOfThis]

Hello everyone, first post.
After a lots of attempts towards the end of last year and start of this year, my house (living with parents) has had medication locked away for a while. That's all it really is - how can I CTB with household items and without being able to access any medication? No painkillers, anti-emetics, etc.
In addition to this I'm pretty desperate rn. My mind is made up because my quality of life is absolutely awful and I've lost it during quarantine.
I have access to a semi-large amount of borax and a sharpener blade. Rubbish I know. Any input greatly appreciated for methodology

 

[Sarahlynn]

Have you looked into partial suspension and the "night night" method? It can be a bit tricky, but there is tons of info about these methods here on the forum.

 

[AJ95]

Have you looked into partial suspension and the "night night" method? It can be a bit tricky, but there is tons of info about these methods here on the forum.

These are probably your best bets

 

[CatIsFedUpOfThis]

Have you looked into partial suspension and the "night night" method? It can be a bit tricky, but there is tons of info about these methods here on the forum.

Yes unfortunately I can't access the needed stuff. Due to said quality of life I don't really leave the house and it must be without making my parents suspicious so yknow if I suddenly start going out it's a bit odd that's how I was foiled last time.

Also I don't care about it being 'clean and painless' like people on here lol

 

[OnlyTheWind]

Maybe there is a knife in your kitchen that could help with that. Or you could find a long enough power cord and go that way, as long as you have a good anchor point in a private space.

 

[CatIsFedUpOfThis]

Guys come on please I'm desperate and I'm home alone rn which doesn't happen that often.

Maybe there is a knife in your kitchen that could help with that. Or you could find a long enough power cord and go that way, as long as you have a good anchor point in a private space.

There are quite a few knives none that is sharp enough all pretty old and basic kitchen knives. Power cord is a good point however I think I'd struggle to find an anchor that is private. What would make a good anchor?

 

[OnlyTheWind]

Power cord is a good point however I think I'd struggle to find an anchor that is private. What would make a good anchor?

A strong hook on a wall, a ceiling beam, door, window, or the ever-popular wardrobe bar. Maybe even a nearby tree. You could always sneak out after dark.

 

[CatIsFedUpOfThis]

A strong hook on a wall, a ceiling beam, door, window, or the ever-popular wardrobe bar. Maybe even a nearby tree. You could always sneak out after dark.

Blegh I hate everything my house is like edwardian so no hooks, one *thick* beam in the attic, weird door handles would maybe work. Or tree like u said lmao. I'm not sure if I have the balls to hang tho.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

The beam in the attic sounds good. Apart from a cord, I'm not sure what else you could use unless you want to try cutting.

 

[CatIsFedUpOfThis]

The beam in the attic sounds good. Apart from a cord, I'm not sure what else you could use unless you want to try cutting.

Yeah that's my problem lol there isn't very many options.

Anyone know what would happen if I drank bleach and other household chemicals (other than pain) or what the lethal dose of borax is?

 

[OnlyTheWind]

Yeah that's my problem lol there isn't very many options.

Anyone know what would happen if I drank bleach and other household chemicals (other than pain) or what the lethal dose of borax is?

Using either is more likely to cause lasting internal damage than to kill you. I don't know about bleach, but Borax is said to be lethal to adults at 15 - 20 grams.

 

[CatIsFedUpOfThis]

Using either is more likely to cause lasting internal damage than to kill you. I don't know about bleach, but Borax is said to be lethal to adults at 15 - 20 grams.

Do you know the toxicity per kg? I have searched for this and can't find decent info anywhere but maybe I just don't know the right places to look. I bring it up because I have lots of borax to use in slime (lol).

My most recent and serious attempt after new year was when I poured some borax in my hot chocolate and drank it. However it was really a cry for help so eventually when confronted I told my parents and was ambulanced in. The doctors basically said I was "sErIoUsLy LuCkY" that I stopped at the amount I did. Annoying. And I barely had any then maybe 5g. So possibly an option if I take the entire stock I have? And combine it with some other harmful shit?

 

[OnlyTheWind]

I don't think it's very toxic. Couldn't find much more info on this myself, except for the following:

"A review of 784 accidental human poisonings from 10 - 88 grams of boric acid reported no fatalities, with 88% of cases being asymptomatic. However, gastrointestinal, cardiovascular, hepatic, renal, and central nervous system effects, dermatitis, erythema, and death have been observed in some children and adults exposed to more than 84 mg boron/kg, corresponding to more than 40 grams of borax for 60 kg of body weight."

I think most of these household products aren't really ideal for ctb. I'm not a doctor but 5g of borax isn't much and highly unlikely to do anything (personal experience). I don't want to recommend any mixtures because you could end up in a world of pain minus the peace you are looking for.

 

[Meditation guide]

And I barely had any then maybe 5g.

Did drinking borax cause pain? What was it like?

 

[CatIsFedUpOfThis]

I don't think it's very toxic. Couldn't find much more info on this myself, except for the following:

"A review of 784 accidental human poisonings from 10 - 88 grams of boric acid reported no fatalities, with 88% of cases being asymptomatic. However, gastrointestinal, cardiovascular, hepatic, renal, and central nervous system effects, dermatitis, erythema, and death have been observed in some children and adults exposed to more than 84 mg boron/kg, corresponding to more than 40 grams of borax for 60 kg of body weight."

I think most of these household products aren't really ideal for ctb. I'm not a doctor but 5g of borax isn't much and highly unlikely to do anything (personal experience). I don't want to recommend any mixtures because you could end up in a world of pain minus the peace you are looking for.

How annoying. Thanks for your help though. Might try and pick the lock to get some SSRIs.

Did drinking borax cause pain? What was it like?

None for me but my mum thinks I was hallucinating as I recall a conversation with a woman in the bed next but she was gone when my mum arrived! Swear that was an actual woman. It made me out of it however I don't think my experience is universal because no matter what I od on I've never experienced stomach pain or being sick.

 

[CatIsFedUpOfThis]

I don't think it's very toxic. Couldn't find much more info on this myself, except for the following:

"A review of 784 accidental human poisonings from 10 - 88 grams of boric acid reported no fatalities, with 88% of cases being asymptomatic. However, gastrointestinal, cardiovascular, hepatic, renal, and central nervous system effects, dermatitis, erythema, and death have been observed in some children and adults exposed to more than 84 mg boron/kg, corresponding to more than 40 grams of borax for 60 kg of body weight."

I think most of these household products aren't really ideal for ctb. I'm not a doctor but 5g of borax isn't much and highly unlikely to do anything (personal experience). I don't want to recommend any mixtures because you could end up in a world of pain minus the peace you are looking for.

I'm about to test this with 21g of borax! Not really to CTB just to self harm I guess

 

[OnlyTheWind]

Did drinking borax cause pain? What was it like?

No pain. In fact nothing at all. Mixed it with water and downed the whole thing. It leaves a sweet taste in your mouth. Apparently it can be used as a Boron supplement.

I'm about to test this with 21g of borax! Not really to CTB just to self harm I guess

If possible, please tell us about your experience. It could be different for other people.

 

[CatIsFedUpOfThis]

No pain. In fact nothing at all. Mixed it with water and downed the whole thing. It leaves a sweet taste in your mouth. Apparently it can be used as a Boron supplement.

If possible, please tell us about your experience. It could be different for other people.

Ugh unfortunately I was interrupted by my parents coming home. No worries, I wasn't caught and will be doing it soon. I will absolutely share my experience don't worry lol like might as well.
And yeah you're right it is kinda weirdly sweet?? But also salty depending on what form you get it I think mine has salt as an ingredient? Maybe? But also that taste with like the chemical burn depending on how much you add. Like in my experience a little bit won't burn but the more you add obviously it gets stronger. It's not really that bad tho it definitely made me think twice about my SI lol.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Do you mind sharing how old you are?

 

[CatIsFedUpOfThis]

Do you mind sharing how old you are?

No I don't mind. Why?

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

No I don't mind. Why?

To be direct and honest, because you live with your parents, have been pushing for others to give you a solution, and are considering self-harming with Borax.

 

[CatIsFedUpOfThis]

To be direct and honest, because you live with your parents, have been pushing for others to give you a solution, and are considering self-harming with Borax.

Fair enough. I'm 19 in two months. I'm autistic tho lol so I need my mum as a 'carer' as apparently I can't look after myself :) Tho I didn't expect age discrimination here!

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Fair enough. I'm 19 in two months. I'm autistic tho lol so I need my mum as a 'carer' as apparently I can't look after myself :) Tho I didn't expect age discrimination here!

It's not age discrimination. There's a limit of 18 and underage folks sometimes join anyway. I was considering answering some of your posts on this thread but hesitated because I don't want to give suicide advice to a minor.

 

[CatIsFedUpOfThis]

It's not age discrimination. There's a limit of 18 and underage folks sometimes join anyway. I was considering answering some of your posts on this thread but hesitated because I don't want to give suicide advice to a minor.

OK yeah fair goes. I probably would've joined this site as a minor if I found it lol. Long term wanting to ctb and I'm *still* here wow!

 

[CatIsFedUpOfThis]

It's not age discrimination. There's a limit of 18 and underage folks sometimes join anyway. I was considering answering some of your posts on this thread but hesitated because I don't want to give suicide advice to a minor.

Though fair enough I did make this thread in a panic lmao but have been feeling stable since, so can have a normal conversation aha

 

[Freelyffe88]

Using either is more likely to cause lasting internal damage than to kill you. I don't know about bleach, but Borax is said to be lethal to adults at 15 - 20 grams.

Borax is less toxic than table salt. There was a huge propaganda campaign against it because it is extremely beneficial for so many things. I've taken it as a supplement... I've taken over 10 grams at once and it's non toxic.