Desire for isolation increasing

[eternalpeace]

I have been living back at my parents' place for over a year now. When I moved in, I was used to living completely alone and it was an adjustment. I haven't really left the house much in that time, but now it's reached the point where I don't even want to leave my room.

it's not an issue during the day, when my mom is working, because my dad pretty much lets me be. But my mom likes me to watch tv with her, and now, even leaving the room to go do that is exhausting. I feel like I need to be where it is nice and dark and there is no noise. I had managed to hide completely since New Year's day but now my mom wants me to go downstairs and watch a movie with her, and the thought of leaving my little bubble makes me want to throw up. I will force myself to do it (to keep my mom happy), but it's kind of starting to scare me that it has become this hard to even leave my room for another room in the same house!

 

[waitingforrest]

I can understand exactly what you mean by not wanting to leave your room. I probably have some sensory sensitivities though. Perhaps you can try just looking out your door and go back in your room? Like slowly build up the time and willpower to go out? Although, don't push yourself too hard, especially if it's something uncomfortable for you.

 

[Julgran]

It sounds like you a are a kind person for wanting to keep your mother company, at least, and it's also positive that feel repulsed by your own habit of isolating yourself. In the worst outcome, the isolation could lead you down a very negative spiral, which it seems to already have started doing.

Do you have any friends who you can visit in order to get out of the house, or maybe go to a store and buy groceries?

 

[eternalpeace]

It sounds like you a are a kind person for wanting to keep your mother company, at least, and it's also positive that feel repulsed by your own habit of isolating yourself. In the worst outcome, the isolation could lead you down a very negative spiral, which it seems to already have started doing.

Do you have any friends who you can visit in order to get out of the house, or maybe go to a store and buy groceries?

Not really any friends, but I do have an appointment on Monday, so I'm going to have to find a way to leave the room, or cancel the appointment. Most of my medical appointments are over the phone, but this one I actually have to go in. I do have a friend coming from another city in about a month, and I do want to be able to see her. Thank you for your advice and empathy! I really appreciate it.

I can understand exactly what you mean by not wanting to leave your room. I probably have some sensory sensitivities though. Perhaps you can try just looking out your door and go back in your room? Like slowly build up the time and willpower to go out? Although, don't push yourself too hard, especially if it's something uncomfortable for you.

Thank you so much for your advice. There's definitely a sensory component to this. Light and noise really get to me. I'd rather watch tv on my iPad screen than on the big tv, even if I have the house to myself. (Even if I do get the house to myself, I usually just stay in my room). But I think part of it is depression and just being so ashamed of myself that I don't want anyone to look at me. I like Your idea of approaching it gradually! Thanks again.

 

[TooConscious]

The 6 months original covid lockdown was the beat time of my life, unfortunately I always thought it would end any day as nothing good ever lasted... I wish I saw it from the start that it would go on.

People drag you down. Very lucky if you find people who want to see you to give you energy not just drain yours. Vampires they are.

 

[FuneralCry]

I spend most of my time in the same room, I feel a need to isolate myself from others, I just feel more comfortable doing that. People can be tiring and I am very introverted. I know it is hard to do things that you do not particularly want to do, but I wish you the best.