Venting depression vs depressive episodes

[jellie]

I experience depressive episodes but I do not have consistent depression. it feels so invalidating when people tell me I will get better, even though I will likely get better. I will get better, but then I will get worse.
to me, it feels like suicide is inevitable, which is somewhat comforting. but when I am not in a depressive episode I feel like such a faker.

do any of you relate to this? or are you consistently depressed?

 

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

I experience depressive episodes but I do not have consistent depression. it feels so invalidating when people tell me I will get better, even though I will likely get better. I will get better, but then I will get worse.
to me, it feels like suicide is inevitable, which is somewhat comforting. but when I am not in a depressive episode I feel like such a faker.

do any of you relate to this? or are you consistently depressed?

This is pretty much how my depression started. Id be having a good day and felt like a fraud discussing my suicidal thoughts and problems in therapy. Then it became pretty much constant. You cant control your depression so you arent a "faker." Im sorry youre feeling like that

 

[Neraul]

I experience depressive episodes but I do not have consistent depression. it feels so invalidating when people tell me I will get better, even though I will likely get better. I will get better, but then I will get worse.
to me, it feels like suicide is inevitable, which is somewhat comforting. but when I am not in a depressive episode I feel like such a faker.

do any of you relate to this? or are you consistently depressed?

This is absolutely how I feel. I have recurrent depression but I realise now that I am more often depressed than not and it's inevitable that it will return. That suicide is inevitable is my realisation but when I am a bit better I feel awful that I allow myself to fake it so badly that I talk about suicide with such ease. I feel like I manipulate and lie to people around me, even health professionals. But it comes back always and then I realise the truth. It's so invalidating and I'm sorry you experience it too