alisku

alisku

New Member
Jul 7, 2019
4
Hello friends. I need a bit help here. I'm actually in a point of my life where things aren't that bad. You could even say that things are good for now.. Anyway, I have absolutely no will to live. I'm extremly drained and the only thing I want is to sleep through life as I find my mind a completly unbearable place. I'm a hudge mess. I don't know if I should keep on trying to change my medication or just give up searching for a solution.

Anybody else here feeling very hopeless 'without' having specific triggers at the time? Even thought I undestand others with depression and I look at it as a disease, I'm absolutely not that understanding where it comes to myself..
 
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Shamana

Warlock
May 31, 2019
716
Trip on shrooms in a natural setting
 
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ZixivaldYrxes

ZixivaldYrxes

Archduke Demoness Villaintropic
Apr 3, 2019
120
There's a lot of vague, ambient stuff out there that's depressing. Difficult (for me at least, lol) to grasp and overwhelming. Often when we're in the belly of the beast, or a beast, we mistake that belly for our home or a kind of familiar and normal place to be. The only way one could identify said belly as a belly (whatever it may be) is to view it from the outside. What I mean to say is, it might not seem to you that there's a reason because everything may appear to be as it should be and always has been, but that doesn't mean that something isn't wrong in actuality. A lack of apparent triggers doesn't have to mean a lack of any triggers at all.

It could be neurological too. But every one of your life experiences has led to and added up to to this moment. It might be helpful to assess which of your needs aren't being met without attaching preconceived notions of what people generally think of as good and bad, and necessary and unnecessary. You are not supposed to be happy simply because you have XYZ things that are positive. There is no "supposed to". There is only whether you are or whether you are not. Many aspects of our lives are fabricated to be one size fits all, but one size doesn't fit all.
 
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alisku

alisku

New Member
Jul 7, 2019
4
@ZixivaldYrxes Thank you for taking your time. I really appreciate many of your thoughts. As you mentioned, sometimes we need an outside look, and you helped me to realize or remind me of some things that does play a big part. Specially these things I do consider normal (as I had to get used to as a way of coping or surviving) that probably are far from whatever is normal. again, thanks!
 
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Bongda

Member
Jul 15, 2019
6
I have same problem with you and I used to think that I am such a loser. However i recently read the article that explain the things that we get through. We always think that our mood come from external event , example: somebody insult you —> you get sad. But it is extremely wrong , our mood is just chemical reation in brain. Because not everybody feel the same way in same situation. And when you drink beer , inside beer it has substance to make us happy so our brain is happy even we have difficulties at that moment. Moreover, science also stares that only 50% of people have happiness genes .In conclusion, you can get depression in any situation you are in now .
 
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suicideofpeace

Member
Feb 28, 2019
61
Hello, first of all sorry for my poor English because of i am not as English native. i am Asian Therefore somtimes i am hard to understand and talk with member.
i am deadly deep depression patient.
before i became depression patient, there is many happen that i hard to say.
well without many happen, i am super-deep-patient. i always think Death.
i treid to die several times, literally not only haning but also niterogen and carbon coal briquette etc, i was failed. i really tried 15times more. i have many scars also. that make me hard on my country's strict society.
someday i cant get part-time jobs because of my scars. my friends was pass away when i tried to die with them. one of them is who i really loved. when i visited she's home she's grandmother said :Do you know where K's money ? wow i really surprised, she was not telling me that why she want to die she was always active and positive also had many friends and she is pretty but finally i got that.
so if ask me that i want to die and became a depression patient is my family ? well maybe my family is not awful but from me my family is bad. i always regard as i have no parents.
also plus, i was studying fine art. oil painting. i thought only art can rescue to me. because schopenhaeur said that.
But i suddenly stop it, and studying another major, however , my depression always make bothering to me. My depression always think the my past. My friends, my faild, when i was fun and exciting....
so i done... i cannot do anything anymore.
i am tried... so fucking tired ...
My youth is only suffering, loneliness, and longing.
one of my German friend said why are you want to die ?there is no guarantee of afterlife that you are happy and important is everything is will be gone. pain and happiness also. for example i was exhausted from business trip but i am fine now. and i thought i really envy him because of i cannot think like that and he is really suitable to live on this world..but.. but i cant live as that...
Also i dont have a lot of friends that i can talk to me of reailty.
My freinds think i am postive and active. I dont expresss my feeling and scars.
But i am always suffer from depression. If i keep live many social stimulus make me suicial always.
Therefore i have bought N last on Thursday, but something is getting wrong.
really hard to die.
 
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Intelligent Ape

Intelligent Ape

Evolutionary dead end
Jun 23, 2019
42
Hello friends. I need a bit help here. I'm actually in a point of my life where things aren't that bad. You could even say that things are good for now.. Anyway, I have absolutely no will to live. I'm extremly drained and the only thing I want is to sleep through life as I find my mind a completly unbearable place. I'm a hudge mess. I don't know if I should keep on trying to change my medication or just give up searching for a solution.

Maybe sometimes our mind wants not only "good" and safety things, but also risky, self-destructive actions. And if we didn't do it, our mind get bored and (that is logical in this situation) wants to sleep. That is a dilemma: beeing bored or make something that may destroy life.
 
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