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atrophy

atrophy

I’m tired of squinting
Jan 4, 2025
43
I have had Anorexia Nervosa for years.

This caused me to lose 10 kgs dropping my BMI to underweight, about BMI 16.5.

I'm trying to recover from AN with small steps as I have very low appetite but my BF insists that I eat more and more. He wants to see weight gain progress fast.

He told me that I look like a child and that he isn't attracted to me physically which was extremely harsh to hear.

This triggered my body dysmorphia and SH.

He tells me it's because he wants me to be healthy but I just feel overwhelmed and stressed.

Apart from this, he is an amazing person he just doesn't understand AN or depression.
He is the only one who's there for me so I'm in a dilemma.

I'm not scared of being alone though.
I actually feel like I would be relieved to be alone and it would be one less attachment to this world.

I don't know how to cope with this anymore.
 
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