marysienka
indecisive
- Jul 24, 2024
- 2
I'm 18 and have been depressed since i was 11. i have a suspicion of bpd by my doctor but im too young to tell. i have a cbt plan and resources ready and a date set, yet i still cant convince myself that i want to do it. im going to a party on halloween and i plan on getting home and od-ing. i dont have any close friends, therapist thinks im okay now and that im good enough to stop going (she said that because i said im great). i only have my parents, brother and 2 cats, and if i confide in them and tell them what in feeling they will send me straight to a psych ward. im a junior in high school and already getting bullied and i cant just dissapear from school for like a month without being able to contact anyone and at least say that im sick or something. if they find out im aboslutely effed. (idk if i can swear here) im also scared that ill fail and also end up in a hospital for even longer. do you guys also think this way and are scared? do i do it anyway? its not a foolproof plan.
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