Decided to live.

[Anon1337]

I've been thinking a lot about the past and future recently. I've let everyone down and I gave up on everything. I need to try my best and be a nice human being. I feel awful about how I've been for the past 8 or so years. I've been so horrible and such a disappointment. I wish I CTB when it all began.

I'm going to try my best in life. This isn't in recovery because I don't expect to "recover". I want to try instead of rotting away.

 

[Izzythebelle]

Hi Anon,

I'm with you. It's really nice to read your words because I'm at a point where I feel like it's all or nothing- I gotta put absolutely everything into trying but, honestly, my hopes for finding a reason to love aren't high.

Wish you the best, friend.

 

[platypus77]

That's a powerful statement and very smart to be honest.

Putting "recovery" as a goal, it too abstract and from time to time will feel intangible.

When you say I'll be a nicer person, is way more achievable just because it doesn't matter if you're nice all the time. If you are on average or above, you can already count as a achievement.

 

[Dak]

I was really feeling down today, like just crying cause I'm so lonely. Reading this helped. Thank you Anon.

 

[SVEN]

Best wishes in your struggle.