Death of my children

[catmom23]

Two days ago, my cat of 3 years died right in front of my eyes. I can say a million different things but nothing is enough to describe the pain and suffering I have been going through.

I had a total of 7 cats. Few months ago, our landlord said that we cannot live in this apartment if I have this many cats. Thus begun the abuse from people inside my family and outside. I fought with them in vein. Ultimately, I gave away 3 of my cats for adoption, cats that I have had for years. One of the new owners, decided to throw away my cat in the streets and then they blocked me.

I am someone with severe social anxiety and I am diagnosed with major depressive disorder. I have always been extremely lonely, and deprived of love. I have never had a normal life consisting of friends and family. I was always alone and my cats were ALL I had. Now, with so much loss, specially with this huge loss I have faced from loosing my baby to death, it's like what is the meaning of life anymore? He was the only reason I woke up in the morning, the only reason I could sleep at night feeling warm and loved because he would sleep beside me. I loved this cat the most.

The day he died, I stabbed myself multiple times with an anti-cutter because I could not take the pain I was feeling, it was too much. Few months ago I was also raped. the physical pain and mental trauma that I had experience was beyond explanation. I remember crying, and thinking, when can I go home? I just want to go home to my cats, because I have no one else. I closed my eyes and envisioned them in my mind. I thought, that was my safe place, now it is a place that I don't even have anymore. I genuinely do not want to live anymore.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

So sorry you've gone through this. A lot of people don't realise that for some of us pets are family and our best friends and bring a lot of joy and comfort into our lives.

 

[catmom23]

So sorry you've gone through this. A lot of people don't realise that for some of us pets are family and our best friends and bring a lot of joy and comfort into our lives.

this is exactly what people don't understand. I feel like they have taken SO MUCH away from me. It just feels like cutting off a body part and giving it to someone when they separates me from my cats.

 

[Some place nice]

I am so very sorry for the suffering you are going through. I hope you xan find peace one day.

 

[Kasumi]

They can be our friends and family just as much as anyone else and the pain of losing them is probably never going away.
Especially since they were your only support and your reason to live it's especially hard to continue to live on now.

Still, it does get a little easier after a while, maybe after a few weeks or months you might be able to get up again and continue to live.
If thats a life you want, one that you consider worth living is up to you, but I'd recommend you try your best to hold on until then so that you can make that decision then.

 

[tinyghost]

i am so sorry for your loss. our pets are truly our family and children. my cat had a major emergency surgery recently and its been hell. i cant even imagine your pain at losing your baby. it's understandable that you want to end your suffering. no one deserves to live like that. if only we were given what we need instead of being shunned.

 

[catmom23]

They can be our friends and family just as much as anyone else and the pain of losing them is probably never going away.
Especially since they were your only support and your reason to live it's especially hard to continue to live on now.

Still, it does get a little easier after a while, maybe after a few weeks or months you might be able to get up again and continue to live.
If thats a life you want, one that you consider worth living is up to you, but I'd recommend you try your best to hold on until then so that you can make that decision then.

I feel that I can never get past this. Death of a pet is not even something new that I experienced. Last year, two of my cats fell down to the ground from 13th floor and died instantly. Two days ago, another child of mine fell down from the 6th floor and died. Now altogether it had become the kind of trauma that I can never recover from..

i am so sorry for your loss. our pets are truly our family and children. my cat had a major emergency surgery recently and its been hell. i cant even imagine your pain at losing your baby. it's understandable that you want to end your suffering. no one deserves to live like that. if only we were given what we need instead of being shunned.

I genuinely hope and pray that your baby heals soon. I realised that there is nothing more painful than seeing your children suffer..

 

[hi-okbye]

pets can be everything for us. they can be so much better than people. i hope your cat is at least in a peaceful place, where hopefully someday you two will reunite. the pain of loosing someone is just so much, it might always hurt, you learn to grow around the grief though. just curious, did you consider getting another cat? obviously your cat can and will never be replaced, it was special to you. i hope you find some comfort soon. your cat probably knew how much you loved him. hugs to you your so brave for getting this far, especially going through the amount of pain your going through now, much love

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I understand, when I lost my cat I was devastated and continued to be for years. Pets can be so much more than people, a deep, unconditional relationship, honest, pure. Cats are beautiful and intelligent creatures and when you win their trust and appreciation, they can be your world.

There's no words to what you've been through, the loss, the rape... For your precious cat that passed away, think about what a great life you provided him, how much he was loved. He was part of your life but you were his whole life. That won't take the pain away but it's something wonderful you did that deserves appreciation.

I hope you can feel better, being here or elsewhere, I'm so sorry for your loss

 

[Raindancer]

I am so sorry for all of your losses. I loved having more than one dog(I had many) but then I was dealing with a death almost every year or less and it began to take a huge toll on my soul. I still treasure and keep every one of my babies in my heart and carry them with me. I know they are all playing together and waiting for me to come home. There isn't anything I can say to ease your pain, but you are not alone.

 

[wait.what]

I lost my beautiful girl to cancer last spring, in the middle of a nightmarish hot streak of loss. I felt like my last light had gone out, and I didn't expect to survive her either.

 

[soulessbunny]

They are our best friends,our family ,our confidents. there are no words to explain the pain when they are taken away. I lost my baby almost year ago. As far as our now struck off vet thought, he called him knackered( he was a healthy 11 yr old misdiagnosed). Sending hugs and love to you-

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Oh my god, I'm so sorry for the pain you have endured. It simply isn't fair that some people go through everything that they go through. I dread the day my cat will cross the rainbow bridge. Until then, all we can do is cherish them while we have them.

 

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

Two days ago, my cat of 3 years died right in front of my eyes. I can say a million different things but nothing is enough to describe the pain and suffering I have been going through.

I had a total of 7 cats. Few months ago, our landlord said that we cannot live in this apartment if I have this many cats. Thus begun the abuse from people inside my family and outside. I fought with them in vein. Ultimately, I gave away 3 of my cats for adoption, cats that I have had for years. One of the new owners, decided to throw away my cat in the streets and then they blocked me.

I am someone with severe social anxiety and I am diagnosed with major depressive disorder. I have always been extremely lonely, and deprived of love. I have never had a normal life consisting of friends and family. I was always alone and my cats were ALL I had. Now, with so much loss, specially with this huge loss I have faced from loosing my baby to death, it's like what is the meaning of life anymore? He was the only reason I woke up in the morning, the only reason I could sleep at night feeling warm and loved because he would sleep beside me. I loved this cat the most.

The day he died, I stabbed myself multiple times with an anti-cutter because I could not take the pain I was feeling, it was too much. Few months ago I was also raped. the physical pain and mental trauma that I had experience was beyond explanation. I remember crying, and thinking, when can I go home? I just want to go home to my cats, because I have no one else. I closed my eyes and envisioned them in my mind. I thought, that was my safe place, now it is a place that I don't even have anymore. I genuinely do not want to live anymore.

I cried reading this. Im so sorry that happened to you. I love my cats more than anything as well and cant imagine how terrible that must feel.

 

[Ε. Η. R.]

This is hell. I'm crying. I'm so sorry you have to be in such hell.