Venting Death never finds the ones that want him

[RadioRamen]

Finding this site made me realize things , 1) I'm too stupid to concoct any of the means of suicide even with the guides , I'm no craftsman for exit bags , too dumb for SN or anything else chemically inclined, wouldn't be able to hide charges or purchases (I have a hard time lying to people so if confronted unsure if I'd make a good excuse and fear what more fallout I'd have to deal with ) honestly a shotgun would be my only way but even then to spend the couple hundred to get it but then leave my financial debt on my family stops me frond ctb by my own hand. So many times driving I wish a drunk driver would take me out or my poor eating habits would catch up with me and natural causes come into the picture . Even writing this all I think of is the posts I read of those in much dire straights than I and I question if me dreaming of ctb is an insult to them , one of those "someone has it worst than you do stop complaining " mentality . I'm tired and exhausted, I don't feel I can fix what I've damaged and losing the focus or drive to as all I receive is criticism and cold shoulders . 2025 started in a bad place and even though I've made strides to fix myself and work on myself I feel this year ends basically in the same place I started . At this point I trauma dump into ChatGPT because I don't want to talk about these thoughts to friend for fear of them getting involved and what I feel would only cause more fallout in my home , my home where I feel like a guest and an unwanted one at that . I had a nice place and my inability to take action ruined it . Death please take me , and take me soon , I don't fear the nothingness that will follow I just tire of feeling like a nothing

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

everyone has a right to leave this hell whenever they want to for any reason.

they made it almost impossible to suicide . they made every guaranteed suicide method a crime.

for example i can't hire someone to shoot me in the head 4 times. no i have to defeat si to shoot myself and defeat the fear of failure and i only get one shot instead of 4 which would've been guaranteed.

it's a milion times easier to pay someone else to shoot me knowing it's guaranteed versus shooting my own self in the head

they also made nembutal ,morphine, fentanyl, heroin , cyanide, co cylinders, sarco suicide pod, suicide kits, many other things into crimes to keep us in the prison.

well everyone had that right to move away from extreme suffering until they stole it from all of us. they made everything that could be used for suicide a crime and also imposed many cultural societal constraints on top of legal constraints.