Story Dear little E.

[dreaming_of_pearl]

Hey, little me. If you're reading this. Fuck you.

You should have killed yourself i honestly wish you either fucking died or sucked it up and just realized you're a shitty person who doesn't deserve attention period. Why do you think your parents gave your brother so much more attention? Because he didn't talk about his problems and feelings he knew how to regulate himself. But you.. you awful disgusting spawn of a creature. You just couldn't deal with the fact that nobody wants to hear your fucking problems and you talked about them. You lost evreyone because look at you you fucking asshole you are so scared of people realizing what you are; a selfish child who is too scared to realize they are unlikeable.

YOU WANTED TO BE LIKED SO BAD HUH YOU DUMB FUCK YOU SHOULD HAVE ODed

You were sooooo scared of being narcissistic and look at you it's always about you because you can't handle your emotions like a real woman evreyone else can handle their emotions and bullshit but you can't you dumb fuck. You arnt even trying hard enough you lazy selfish peice of shit. Yeah I'll try outpatient therapy but nobody should fucking love you YOU HEAR ME YOU DUMB LITTLE GIRL NOBODY SHOULD FUCKING LOVE YOU EVER NOBODY NOBODY FUCKING NOBODY, you think aunt Vicki is proud of you you think she still loves you she hates what you became you NEED to fucking cut your body hurt yourself get hurt but do it in silence like the rest of us and put on a smile.

Look at you you're just like your mom just like your dad spesifically but worse you're just like ****** like *** like everyone you feared becoming you're JUST LIKE THEM. How does it feel nobody should feel bad for you nobody should

This sickness? You earned it
Your misery? You deserve it
Your pain? Good feel it you worthless cunt you deserve it. In fact I hope you get the shit beat out of you get hit by a car.

But don't kill yourself and ESPECIALLY don't kys and fuck. It. Up. you'll burden all those wonderful people more like you did evrey time. Do it right If you're gonna do it and end everyone's suffering god you're so fucking pathetic. No wonder why everyone hates you I hope you fucking die I hope you fucking die

You deserved everything evrey time people were ohhh "mean to youuu :(((" you fucking asked for it. People like you you E are abusers, horrible people, the kind of people that hurt innocent people

And guess what?

That blood will never leave your hands.
People probably hurt yhemself's because of you.
People probaby have needed therapy from you.

You see that don't you ever think your a good person even for a second your body is a vessel to die.

You should die
You should have died
I fucking hate you
I hate you
I hate you
I hate tou
I want you to suffer

I wish I could see you in front of me right now I would choke the life out of you

You evolved into me that shits unforgiving.

You dumb fuck.
You dumb little baby narcissistic cunt.
Kill youself.


Look at the future. The person you love most yeah? You hurt her pretty much made them feel so unimportant you hogged the spotlight.
You made her feel invalid. You Fucking monster how does it feel looking back somone loves you so much and all you do is ruin everything you and me are the same you became me.

How does it feel to know that you are the worst person alive.


(Don't you people in the comments DARE tell me I'm a good person in any capacity don't you fucking dare)

 

[Enlighten]

I dare to . It really pains me to see you write so badly about yourself. I'm sure you romanticize how other people are, but newsflash: Not much better than you most likely. I don't mind if you'd get mad at me for saying this. I wish you the best and if you wanna talk: i'll be here.

 

[wait.what]

I'm not really sure how to respond here. You make it clear that you don't want people contradicting your evaluation of yourself, and fair enough…it's insulting and utterly maddening when you're an expert on a subject and someone who knows nothing about it whatsoever wants to play "debate me."

On the other hand, I don't feel comfortable signing off on abuse heaped upon a total stranger. I'm pretty sure we have only just "met," and through a messageboard that encourages anonymity at that. I wouldn't know if you were a saint or the devil himself.

I also don't want to heap abuse upon a child, current or past, particularly since their worst sin appears to be "evolving" into someone you find detestable.

Some background: my personal belief about children is that they are potentially a lot of things, and not locked onto the road toward one destiny or another. I also don't consider children as morally culpable for their acts as adults are. Therefore, maligning a child for who they grow up to be doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

Can you explain a little what kind of response you were hoping for from the group? Or if you didn't want a response, can you tell us about what your goals were in posting this open letter here?

 

[Tesha]

Self hate is something I do relentlessly. I won't allow anyone else to hurt me more than I hurt myself. My inner critic is an absolute piece of shit. But, I also know my self hate is mainly due to the abuse I suffered as I child. I wasn't good enough or strong enough to stop myself being raped.

I'm not going to tell you you're a good person, because I don't know you. I am going to tell you you're clearly insightful and could use that to your own advantage. Care is the hardest thing to give yourself, when you don't think you deserve it. Care could be self love, or care could actually be deciding that you have come to the end of your life. Use your insight to determine which path is the right one for you.