L

legend

Member
Sep 19, 2023
11
Dear god,

Thank you for all your blessings during my life. I will never say that I suffered, nothing severe ever happened to me, thanks to your protection.
Whenever I needed a hand, I found yours.

I'm grateful for everything you did for me.
However, something keeps holding me back and pulling me into darkness. I'm tired of the accumulation of this little things that makes life boring and not funny for me.
Maybe some people think that I'm a bad person, but at the core of my heart you know that I'm too kind for this world.

I experienced a lot of hard situations, and even if I used to hate myself I'm now proud of everything I did to save myself. I fought, I made a battle with the abyss of the darkness and I won.

Yes, I won. You helped me with it, but .. maybe it's also the fact that I'm a good person that helped me ?

I'm not weak. I'm very strong. But I don't have any reason to continue, anything to stick to and I DON'T want to stick to something. I'm too disgusted of this world.. I just want to rest in peace. I cried a lot of nights when I was weak and I begged you death hundreds of times. Your creation is perfect but humanity managed to make some part of it awful.
Humanity is also your creation, but there is something dark deep in us that can't come from you.

I worked hard to be able to love myself again, and now I love myself so much that I don't want to see myself suffering ever again. I feel like I don't deserve it.
I suffered so much that I don't feel the pain of the miscomfortable things anymore.
I do fear you, and that's why I waited for a natural death before trying anything. Now, I feel like the future will not be worth living. You are justice, not fear and I'm convinced that you will understand me and not let me trapped in this life anymore.

Allow me to go without any suffering, and sleep forever without ever waking up again.

Thanks god.
 
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