It's a double edged sword the future. In some ways it's good to know that eventually things go on. The sadness for you Blackjack is that you are not going to be part of them, regardless of your planned choice or waiting for that bitch, Mother Nature to take her course. The evidence of your feelings for your family are scattered throughout your posts, so its not surprising that something like this smacks you in the face. The choice in many respects of that future is out of your hands. I don't know shit about crap. But what I do know is the strength that you have shown as a human being in your writings. If anything it is amazing how those traits get passed on to the next generation, whether it be by genetics or by nurture I can't say. Time does march on whether we want the world to completely stop and scream our names in their greatest shout ever in admonishment of whatever power they believe in at your passing and sacrifice themselves on the alter of your memory. But that's not why we had kids for. Secretly or overtly, we always want them to be better versions of ourselves. So in a way, take solace that he will still be going to school and with his father's help, get those grades back up again in due course. Even if you are not religious, you still have to have faith in some things. Place your faith in people.
I don't have words for you over the next few days that will get you through. But know you are not or ever will be alone in this, even if it is a meagre offering of cyber-friendship. But for me it has been absolutely real and for the rest of my days, will never forget you.
If you get banned all that will happen is that a strike will appear through your name. Your posts, thoughts and advice will remain here for as long as the site is active. I hope you do say goodbye. The impact you made here is huge and I hope you give people the chance to say their farewells. But that choice is yours to take.
