Story Dead on the inside

[Mort]

Well looks like I am dead on the inside. I lay my farther to rest this week as i stood at the grave side and as the man gave a little speech then they lowered the coffin. I just stood there feeling nothing at tall my mother and sister were crying and i had to hold onto my mother to stop her falling over . But i just stood there anf they was nothing in me well i hope one day the rest of me catch up with my dead emotions. Mind had a little good news this week the kidney stone that suck in my left kidney for the larst 9 months. Looks like it damaged the kidney to the point of it failure. The doctors what to get it out as soon as but i keep stalling them not that painful so its going to stay. Mite get lucky and bugger the other kidney to but knowing my luck it will fix it self :( . Anyway as i say they not much left of me on the inside glad in one way i can't feel any thing. All what was left was all negative emotions so now they gone well most of it . I can think straight and see what the best way to CTB but if the kidneys thing work out that be a lot better. Tata for now all the best to you all .

 

[TheSoulless]

Sorry to hear all that. Strength to you.

 

[Deleted member 22624]

I'm so sorry. I won't know how to cope when my old man goes, it'll be a massive push for me to CTB and hurt everyone else in my life. I'm surprised your kidneys aren't painful, I hope you know what you are doing

 

[Mort]

I'm so sorry. I won't know how to cope when my old man goes, it'll be a massive push for me to CTB and hurt everyone else in my life. I'm surprised your kidneys

I'm so sorry. I won't know how to cope when my old man goes, it'll be a massive push for me to CTB and hurt everyone else in my life. I'm surprised your kidneys aren't painful, I hope you know what you are doing

I got plenty of painkillers to hand and if i do go this way my mother who i am living with. Will get a big life insurance payment put this way it will pay all the bills for the next 20 years. And still have sum left over to treat her self . She in here late 70,s so it will keep her comfortable to the end of her days . If i top my self they will not pay up so got make it look like it natural. Whats more natural than my kidneys packing up . So i call it a win win i know what damaged my kidneys its the painkillers i am taking. It's the tramadol that's done it long time use and miss using it. Save of much of it up and have a big chill at Friday night i usually take about 20 of the little packs of joy LOL . One of the side effects is it can stop you peeing for about 12 to 20 hours. Bin doing for so long now that well you know my kidneys are all most shot YAY :) . Be nice to know i won't be label a suicide on the death certificate. Well sorry for the long winded reply HEHE :D

 

[Deleted member 22624]

I'm so sorry! That's terrible having to go that way. Having to go through this. I wish you could find a way to get more out of your time left