hummmingbird

hummmingbird

Member
Sep 8, 2021
22
Went on a date today - it was lovely but it took me one step closer to the door of the bus. Why do good experiences trigger me? It's like I have just lost the passion of experiencing things - the good and especially the bad. It's fucking repetitive - nothing lasts so why would I keep myself in this fucking time loop? It's boring, I'm bored.
 
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GenesAndEnvironment

GenesAndEnvironment

Autistic loser
Jan 26, 2021
5,739
In the specific case of dating I don't see how that's supposed to be a fun thing. It's just getting sized up by superficial standards in hopes of continuing a chain of serial monogamy, the relationship will last for an average of 2 years. Otherwise it sounds like classical depressive symptoms, it's a depressive world imo.
 
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fatiguecentral

fatiguecentral

Member
Mar 20, 2021
27
I relate so much. Any time I've had a nice time or been asked out by someone I had great chemistry with, I'd freaked out and immediately put an end to things. I don't know why I sabotage good things that happen to me. I suppose it's something to do with maladaptive coping mechanisms.

I just feel too fucked up to even manage dating.
 
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SleepDealer

SleepDealer

Your Imaginary Friend
Aug 13, 2021
138
I love being close to people more than anything, yet I get triggered by good experiences like you. I simply feel exhausted afterwards. I can barely feel anymore, good or bad. I'm numb to all experiences. Even my anger after another failed attempt is incredibly fleeting. It's more like a knowing in the back of my mind that tells me this is supposed to make me angry, but I have to force any kind of emotional reaction. Crying used to be something that would happen naturally. I never thought I'd have to will myself to cry, even while as depressed as I am.

Dating would only be a temporary joy. Like you said, nothing lasts. I won't have a fulfilling relationship, not in this body, not in this life... Still want cuddles though.
 
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Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Always was, is, and always shall be.
Jun 22, 2020
6,089
I look at a date as a fun way to pass the time. I don't expect anything and am never disappointed. I don't care if they size me up or not, and I'm not afraid of rejection. A lot has to do with your own mental framework. If it's a failure in any way that's ok.
 
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xLosthopex

xLosthopex

Tell my dogs I love them
May 29, 2020
1,135
I only sugar date. Mostly because I don't really see a point in 'normal' dating anymore when I can do more or less the same thing and get paid for it(I just so happen to be attracted to older rich men anyway) but also having a more 'transactional' relationship with someone seems to make more sense to me as someone who doesn't plan on being around for much longer as it prevents less of the complications that come with regular dating/relationships and allows me to keep people at arm's length… Although on the rare occasion I do stupidly end up developing feelings for a customer/client, which just happened again recently which I fucking hate myself for… and yeah… it makes me feel even more shit about everything
 
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hummmingbird

hummmingbird

Member
Sep 8, 2021
22
I only sugar date. Mostly because I don't really see a point in 'normal' dating anymore when I can do more or less the same thing and get paid for it(I just so happen to be attracted to older rich men anyway) but also having a more 'transactional' relationship with someone seems to make more sense to me as someone who doesn't plan on being around for much longer as it prevents less of the complications that come with regular dating/relationships and allows me to keep people at arm's length… Although on the rare occasion I do stupidly end up developing feelings for a customer/client, which just happened again recently which I fucking hate myself for… and yeah… it makes me feel even more shit about everything
Teach me the ways of sugar dating - would love to get paid for dating haha
 
S

summers

Visionary
Nov 4, 2020
2,495
What's all this dating business. I logged onto Grindr for the first time in a couple months today, and had 3 offers to fuck and/or get sucked off in an hour lol.
 
hummmingbird

hummmingbird

Member
Sep 8, 2021
22
What's all this dating business. I logged onto Grindr for the first time in a couple months today, and had 3 offers to fuck and/or get sucked off in an hour lol.
Love it for you, is that what you were expecting? Happy with the results??
 
S

summers

Visionary
Nov 4, 2020
2,495
Love it for you, is that what you were expecting? Happy with the results??
Idk, let me get back to you in a couple days after I have a few more notches on my bedpost.

I can say the last hookup I had from Grindr was great. She's mtf, and we had a lot of fun, and are actually good friends now. Planning on taking a weekend trip soon. Never actually went on a date. Just hooked up and went from there.
 
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hummmingbird

hummmingbird

Member
Sep 8, 2021
22
Idk, let me get back to you in a couple days after I have a few more notches on my bedpost.

I can say the last hookup I had from Grindr was great. She's mtf, and we had a lot of fun, and are actually good friends now. Planning on taking a weekend trip soon. Never actually went on a date. Just hooked up and went from there.
Sex is an energy exchange, if u vibe - u vibe. I hope it's some relief from the other shit going on!!
 
S

summers

Visionary
Nov 4, 2020
2,495
Teach me the ways of sugar dating - would love to get paid for dating haha
The problem is, you will never actually go on a date with someone you're interested in or find attractive. It's good money if you can handle it. There is some risk, as far as safety too. People (guys) may expect more than you're willing to give because they paid for you. They think they own you.
 
Littlepaws

Littlepaws

Member
Sep 4, 2021
58
I'm done with dating. I tried after my last relationship ended, but all I ended up doing was being used.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
37,207
I have no interest in dating/relationships personally. It simply does not appeal to me and from what I have heard they just seem to cause people misery. It seems like hard work as well and it just seems boring to me. I guess I like being alone.
 
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Celerity

Celerity

shape without form, shade without colour
Jan 24, 2021
2,733
I can't count on friends to stick around much less someone to date. Typing it out here makes me sad, but I just try not to dwell on it - as that generic Boomer/Silent Gen advice goes. It's actually gotten me pretty far this time around.

I look at my parents' marriage and wonder if trying for a long-term-relationship would be a boring disaster for me like it was for them. I look at the prospect of hook-ups, and it just doesn't appeal.

Maybe my mindset is just a cope to deal with my lack of hope and initiative, but it serves just fine for now.
 
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