Dating apps will be the final push I need

[iwanttoleave2000]

I'm 23 years old and Ive been a chronic loner my whole life. I've always been more of a shut in who enjoys gaming/tv/listening to music. My only interest that involves going out is lifting weights. I also am kind of eccentric with a really dumb sense of humor and I have a hard time connecting with people.

I thought that changed recently when I made some friends over a game I played (WoW) but I think they do not like me now. I also was talking to a girl I met on there. We played games together for several months and I thought she was interested. I was genuinely happy having at least one girl in my life who seemed interested in me who I found interesting also. But now she is ghosting me.

This really destroyed me these past few months so I decided to try to meet people through dating apps recently.
I installed all of the big ones like tinder, bumble, hinge.

Nobody likes me. I thought I was good looking. I'm 6ft tall and a bodybuilder with visible jaw, etc. I put a lot of effort into my hair also. Thanks to these apps I now realize just how undesirable I am. How the issue was not me not putting myself out there, but just me. I haven't gotten any likes in days, my couple of matches left me on read. I hear success stories about how attractive guys get a bunch of likes/matches , and how girls get 1000s. I'm talking to someone now but I've learned to have no hope and know that it will just fizzle out.

When that does happen I plan on CBTing with sodium nitrite. I've been wanting to do it for awhile, I just need a source. I don't want to live my life alone and miserable, surrounded by people who have others love them and are happy. If anyone has a source that would be great, I don't know if I have enough posts on here, though.

 

[Deleted member 8975]

ya I only get left on read on those things too. I just play it like a game really cuz I know most of the accounts are bots/fakes anyway. Just a boring meaningless activity

 

[OrphicEnd]

There is a difference between love and adventure, if you are looking for love, it's fortuitous, you find it without expecting it, sometimes very late in life or not at all since the world is big, it doesn't depend on the physical, and it lasts. If it's about adventure, like the vast majority of couples today, you should go out more or do some party to meet people, you'll always find someone who has an attraction. You can also register on other forums, discord servers or online phone game, I know several people who met through this.
There are more men seeking women than women seeking men, which is why apps are of little use
Best wishes I hope you'll find the one that will make you happy

 

[Marine]

I'm 23 years old and Ive been a chronic loner my whole life. I've always been more of a shut in who enjoys gaming/tv/listening to music. My only interest that involves going out is lifting weights. I also am kind of eccentric with a really dumb sense of humor and I have a hard time connecting with people.

I thought that changed recently when I made some friends over a game I played (WoW) but I think they do not like me now. I also was talking to a girl I met on there. We played games together for several months and I thought she was interested. I was genuinely happy having at least one girl in my life who seemed interested in me who I found interesting also. But now she is ghosting me.

This really destroyed me these past few months so I decided to try to meet people through dating apps recently.
I installed all of the big ones like tinder, bumble, hinge.

Nobody likes me. I thought I was good looking. I'm 6ft tall and a bodybuilder with visible jaw, etc. I put a lot of effort into my hair also. Thanks to these apps I now realize just how undesirable I am. How the issue was not me not putting myself out there, but just me. I haven't gotten any likes in days, my couple of matches left me on read. I hear success stories about how attractive guys get a bunch of likes/matches , and how girls get 1000s. I'm talking to someone now but I've learned to have no hope and know that it will just fizzle out.

When that does happen I plan on CBTing with sodium nitrite. I've been wanting to do it for awhile, I just need a source. I don't want to live my life alone and miserable, surrounded by people who have others love them and are happy. If anyone has a source that would be great, I don't know if I have enough posts on here, though.

As a young girl I'm "supposed" to get 1000000000000s of likes / matches / messages but I am 100% invisible, if not played or rejected, and l and feel like the fugliest peace of subhuman trash for that reason too (I know I utterly suck at taking photos and need some serious upgrading because of my horrible health but I can't possibly be fugly to the point of never attracting anybody who's my type at all ever) and don't know where to attract anybody elsewhere as IRL hasn't been any better so I feel you...

I can only guess that the problem can't logically come from us (dating sites have gone wayyyyyyyy downhill and become almost unusable according to a lot of users apparently), I've tried shifting my view of myself and things in general, dealing with my trauma etc and nothing changed at all.

I'm sorry you're enduring that type of hell too. My source is no longer available so hopefully you'll get more luck with other users and ideally we'll find a better solution out of the worst kind of hell that this is...

 

[Deleted member 8975]

As a young girl I'm "supposed" to get 1000000000000s of likes / matches / messages but I am 100% invisible, if not played or rejected, and l and feel like the fugliest peace of subhuman trash for that reason too (I know I utterly suck at taking photos and need some serious upgrading because of my horrible health but I can't possibly be fugly to the point of never attracting anybody who's my type at all ever) and don't know where to meet anybody as IRL hasn't been any better so I feel you...

I can only guess that the problem can't logically come from us (dating sites have gone wayyyyyyyy downhill and become almost unusable according to a lot of users apparently), I've tried shifting my view of myself and things in general, dealing with my trauma etc and nothing changed at all.

I'm sorry you're enduring that type of hell too. My source is no longer available so hopefully you'll get more luck with other users and ideally we'll find a better solution out of the worst kind of hell that this is...

they are just filled to the brim with scammers I swear. All sides. There are women scammers. There are men scammers. there are literal bots who knows who they answer to. It's just a blackhole of despair really if you're looking for anything serious at all and that includes casual relationships lol

 

[Marine]

they are just filled to the brim with scammers I swear. All sides. There are women scammers. There are men scammers. there are literal bots who knows who they answer to. It's just a blackhole of despair really if you're looking for anything serious at all and that includes casual relationships lol

I guess so but it's kind of insane... I don't understand how that happened over a few years... Before 2020 I somehow managed to meet people occasionally though they were usually low quality (or crazy)...

Worse though is when "people" IRL behave like bots too and make no sense...

 

[Deleted member 8975]

I had like 100+ matches on okcupid (they cap at 99 like what they show you) but i swear, and this was around covid 2020, a bunch were like in Nigeria or the Philippines even though I was set to like 250mi radius . It was scammy back then too but I think all the money chasers stayed and people lost hope buy n large so theyre all that's left. I never met a solitary soul in person from those apps. I'm unattractive physically so like, it was never gonna happen anyway. I should never have gone on them.

 

[Marine]

I had like 100+ matches on okcupid (they cap at 99 like what they show you) but i swear, and this was around covid 2020, a bunch were like in Nigeria or the Philippines even though I was set to like 250mi radius . It was scammy back then too but I think all the money chasers stayed and people lost hope buy n large so theyre all that's left. I never met a solitary soul in person from those apps. I'm unattractive physically so like, it was never gonna happen anyway. I should never have gone on them.

According to my research on the subject it seems to be more like they make you invisible to the decent locals (especially when you don't pay like me) and the rest of the decent looking people are either bots or fuckboys / ego boost fishers... Or live super far away like you said.

My remaking my account several times seems to have me hardcore perma-shadowbanned as well pretty much everywhere...

Unfortunately I don't really have any choice but to try everything until I can make a miracle happen and finally turn things to normal somehow...

 

[Deleted member 8975]

According to my research on the subject it seems to be more like they make you invisible to the decent locals (especially when you don't pay like me) and the rest of the decent looking people are either bots or fuckboys / ego boost fishers... Or live super far away like you said.

My remaking my account several times seems to have me hardcore perma-shadowbanned as well pretty much everywhere...

Unfortunately I don't really have any choice but to try everything until I can make a miracle happen and finally turn things to normal somehow...

I paid a month or so after it was stuck on 99 just to see what was up...like I could talk to a few of the people but they were all seedy and seeming like they wanted me to either sub to their OF or wanted "sexting" only which is sus...sounds like blackmail scammers.
I think maybe they do shadow ban non paying accounts? They definitely will shadowban paid accounts because they want to create recurring income. I know this because on one app I paid for, I suddenly stopped getting views and I think i wasnt being shown either.
What apps are you using now if it's okay to ask?
The only one I'm on is Feeld which is just because im poly...not in the way that people seem to throw that word around now but. In the end I just decided it wasnt even worth being on the typical "straight" apps I guess.

 

[iwanttoleave2000]

As a young girl I'm "supposed" to get 1000000000000s of likes / matches / messages but I am 100% invisible, if not played or rejected, and l and feel like the fugliest peace of subhuman trash for that reason too (I know I utterly suck at taking photos and need some serious upgrading because of my horrible health but I can't possibly be fugly to the point of never attracting anybody who's my type at all ever) and don't know where to attract anybody elsewhere as IRL hasn't been any better so I feel you...

my experience to a t . for what its worth i don't think you're ugly ( if thats your photo).

 

[Marine]

I paid a month or so after it was stuck on 99 just to see what was up...like I could talk to a few of the people but they were all seedy and seeming like they wanted me to either sub to their OF or wanted "sexting" only which is sus...sounds like blackmail scammers.
I think maybe they do shadow ban non paying accounts? They definitely will shadowban paid accounts because they want to create recurring income. I know this because on one app I paid for, I suddenly stopped getting views and I think i wasnt being shown either.
What apps are you using now if it's okay to ask?
The only one I'm on is Feeld which is just because im poly...not in the way that people seem to throw that word around now but. In the end I just decided it wasnt even worth being on the typical "straight" apps I guess.

I've tried Tinder *, OkCupid *, Badoo *, FB Dating *, Bumble, Hinge, Once, HugAvenue *, POF, Boo, Veggly, Happen, Spotted, Fruitz *, Lovoo, MeetMindful *, Meetic, Geekmemore *, Atypikoo * for what I can remember. All cursed. Right now I'm still on the ones I marked with a *.

I've also tried FB and Telegram groups, same thing...

I'm shadowbanned to the point where my messages aren't sent or received often and profiles disappear without them blocking me as well... And I seem almost exclusively shown / accessible to ugly and old people nowdays, occasionally decent looking perverts, it's horrible...

my experience to a t . for what its worth i don't think you're ugly ( if thats your photo).

Thank you. If I'm not beautiful it's the same as being ugly for me though...

 

[Deleted member 8975]

I've tried Tinder *, OkCupid *, Badoo *, FB Dating *, Bumble, Hinge, Once, HugAvenue *, POF, Boo, Veggly, Happen, Spotted, Fruitz *, Lovoo, MeetMindful *, Meetic, Geekmemore *, Atypikoo * for what I can remember. All cursed. Right now I'm still on the ones I marked with a *.

I've also tried FB and Telegram groups, same thing...

I'm shadowbanned to the point where my messages aren't sent or received often and profiles disappear without them blocking me as well... And I seem almost exclusively shown / accessible to ugly and old people nowdays, occasionally decent looking perverts, it's horrible...

Thank you. If I'm not beautiful it's the same as being ugly for me though...

Ive tried most of those. Im only on Feeld now. Telegram must suck so bad LOL. Ive been in suicide groups on telegram and they were shit shows.

And the girl in the picture is beautiful. I dont think beauty is part of the problem anymore with apps or dating in general...I couldnt tell you what it is.

I know for me basically no one wants a suicidal dead beat with basically no life, no future...and just endless mental/emotional damage. It just wont happen. So I dont acknowledge it like it's real anyway for all I know love isn't real like I used to want it to be and fantasize about. I've only ever seen it in movies. And read about it in stories. And that's all fake. So it doesn't shock me that the dating apps are let downs and fake too. I'm sorry it's gone so poorly for you too though.

 

[Marine]

Ive tried most of those. Im only on Feeld now. Telegram must suck so bad LOL. Ive been in suicide groups on telegram and they were shit shows.

And the girl in the picture is beautiful. I dont think beauty is part of the problem anymore with apps or dating in general...I couldnt tell you what it is.

I know for me basically no one wants a suicidal dead beat with basically no life, no future...and just endless mental/emotional damage. It just wont happen. So I dont acknowledge it like it's real anyway for all I know love isn't real like I used to want it to be and fantasize about. I've only ever seen it in movies. And read about it in stories. And that's all fake. So it doesn't shock me that the dating apps are let downs and fake too. I'm sorry it's gone so poorly for you too though.

Is Feeld only for poly people ?

Thank you I still think having good pictures and general presentation is crucial but that's not all there is to it obviously like OP seems to demonstrate.

I know love is very real, and the source of life, but dating sites and society has gotten very alienated from anything true unfortunately. Still it's a vital need so we have no choice but to find a way back to it somehow.

Personality, behavior and attitude wise I'm definitely good personally so these are not the issue. I am not typical though, but to quality people that's a strength, not a weakness even if my being unconventional doesn't necessarily always play in my favor I guess. Still can't explain the phenomenon.

I think people healing each other is probably one of the most beautiful and noble human thing so I wouldn't despair because you've been through a lot and many people are hollow morons.

 

[Deleted member 8975]

Is Feeld only for poly people ?

Thank you I still think having good pictures and general presentation is crucial but that's not all there is to it obviously like OP seems to demonstrate.

I know love is very real, and the source of life, but dating sites and society has gotten very alienated from anything true unfortunately. Still it's a vital need so we have no choice but to find a way back to it somehow.

Personality, behavior and attitude wise I'm definitely good personally so these are not the issue. I am not typical though, but to quality people that's a strength, not a weakness even if my being unconventional doesn't necessarily always play in my favor I guess. Still can't explain the phenomenon.

I think people healing each other is probably one of the most beautiful and noble human thing so I wouldn't despair because you've been through a lot and many people are hollow morons.

No feeld is for everyone. It's targeted/designed for those who choose poly because you can pair your partner's profile...but limited like they only allow one extra profile for some reason. It also targets kinky people so there's quite a number of bdsm seekers. And i'd say honestly it's split 50/50 for monogamists and poly. Pretty balanced. The community is VERY small however.

I agree about the healing...i wish I could know what the feels like. One of my biggest issues is I don't know how to communicate correctly with anyone. I don't know social stuff.

You could be right that people have just moved away from the things we want. I dont know how people find anyone.

 

[Gonnerr]

I deleted all social media , i only keep SaSu , no dating app for a while and i feel better.

Social media shouldn't exist , let alone dating apps, only a few percentage of the gifted and privileged people can enjoy them.

Here’s How Social Media Affects Your Mental Health | McLean Hospital

Using social media can directly impact emotional wellness, physical, and mental health. Here are the signs that you are affected.

www.mcleanhospital.org